Aung San Suu Kyi has been released: Why should you care?

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-- Aung San Suu Kyi has been released: Why should you care?

Posted by Lira on Nov-13-2010 22:13:

Aung San Suu Kyi has been released: Why should you care?

ASSK back when she was hot and fought bears.
(even if she's not your type, admit bearers are
hot simply because they can fight bears with
their bare hands! Can you do it?

Aung San Suu Kyi's husband. Am I the only
person who thinks this backhug looks well
suspicious and should be shown right now?

The military junta of Bummer, a rather poor Asian country located between the world's biggest call centre and some very deceiving lady boys, has just freed Aung San Suu Kyi. Unless you're in the US, this is going to be the most commented piece of news today, and you should be on the know.

How?

You can catch up with the news and read up on her. However, because there's too much material to be read, I'm going to provide you guys a COR version (and at the bottom, an even shorter CORe version) so you don't have to live in ignorance any more.

First of all, you probably want to pronounce her name right. It's Ow-ng Sung Soo Chee and Aung Sang Suu Kyi's name is, amusingly enough, an anagram to "I sunk sauna guy" and the actual meaning of her name in English. Like Native Americans, the Bummerese usually get their official names after an act of great bravery, and she pushed the neighbouring Tieland — whose capital Bangkok is inspired by the country's most famous tourist activity, even though sometimes you can swear one of the parties involved is actually a woman — further to the East. How? She pretended to be one of the ladyboys herself, and drowned the local governor.

This fact propelled her to a life of awesomeness. Aung San Suu Kyi was the recipient of the Rafto Prize and the Sakharov Prize for Freedom of Thought in 1990 and the Nobel Peace Prize in 1991. In 1992 she was awarded the Jawaharlal Nehru Award for International Understanding by the Government of India. Aung San Suu Kyi is the third child and only daughter of Aung San, considered to be the father of modern-day Burma.

As she reached the reproductive age, she did what all Asian girls do: she got herself an European husband so she could make sure the next generation would be featured in a show by John Safran, the ever so clumsy Eurasian loving Jew. After the Romans nailed that Jew, it's been a pretty accepted fact that Jews get to nail everyone they want now, and John Safran should have access to some nailworthy material as well.

Back to what really matters. Daw Suu, which is how she's referred to in Bummerian.

After sinking sauna guy and marrying an English scholar, she went to London and got herself her own PhD... which is sort of illegal in her home country. It wasn't, back when U No was the president, but when General No Win led a coup in 1962 that toppled the civilian government, things didn't look too bright to Ms. Kyi.

When she got back in 1989, she was placed under house arrest. Now, cardiac arrests are cruel enough, but they're nothing like house arrests in Bummer. She's been locked up with Bas all this time in a small padded room where she's forced to listen to House all day long. And, no, I'm not talking about that sardonic doctor and his snarky comments, which would be painful enough, but this:

Suu Kyi has not been the same ever since. She looks tired, well vexed, and her neck looks extremely muscular after bobbing her head to the beat for so long. Really, this is not the sort of thing you to do an Asian girl (now woman). There's a reason why there's so much happy hardcore, happy house, and acid techno on Dance Dance Revolution: this is Asia's staple EDM, serving both happy girls and caustic robots since the inception of the continent in 1879 with the Meiji Restoration (the guys are apparently just there to operate the robots). But she's okay now.

Diplomats from all over the world, after pushing Bhutan and receiving bacon, pushed Bummer and got Aung Sang Suu Kyi. This act of awesomeness granted the country the opportunity to change its name to Myanmar.

CORe version: This woman was giving her driving licence again... I'm not sure why all these people are cheering though.

Posted by kevin shawn on Nov-13-2010 22:24:

I feel cheated out of 5 minutes of my life after reading this.

Posted by Lira on Nov-13-2010 22:31:

quote:
Originally posted by kevin shawn
I feel cheated out of 5 minutes of my life after reading this.

She had much much more time of her life stolen from her! Show some compassion