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-- Is the pursuit of happiness a waste of time?

Is the pursuit of happiness a waste of time?

A friend shared this with me, which interesting considering this recent thread: http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...0&forumid=16&s=



This video really only explains things I feel I already know on some level, but it's interesting nonetheless. I've never been in a terrible situation like losing someone very close to me or an accident, but I have always found my happiness comes from within, not the other way around.

Re: Is the pursuit of happiness a waste of time?

quote:

Originally posted by Domesticated I have always found my happiness comes from within, not the other way around.

I disagree... jerking off will never be better than real sex.

it sometimes is....quick and easy does it.

i can jerk off in the parking lot of a wendy's much more incognito than if i had sex there per se.

The "waste of time" judgment is also suggested by the "happiness set-point" theory, which is that you have gloomy people, cheery people, and people in the middle, and for the most part a person's basic temperament never changes. Which means that if you've mostly been a sad sack so far, you'll probably be that way forever. Except a few happy interludes here and there.

Re: Re: Is the pursuit of happiness a waste of time?

To anyone who actually watches the lecture, I found the photography course experiment extremely relevant to myself. I'm a very decisive person: I prefer to make quick choices and then deal with the consequences later, good or bad. Obviously I only do this when there's little information about which choice will be better, like in the experiment. This approach has nearly always worked out well for me, and made me happy.

While travelling extensively this year, I had a friend with me who was the complete opposite; even when it comes to choosing a meal, he can't make up his mind and always asks for more time to think. Watching him, it became apparent to me that this approach nearly always left him unhappy, feeling he'd made the wrong choice.

On one leg of the trip, his girlfriend joined us, who is also extremely indecisive. I was prevented from making decisions about where to go and what to do, because I was always out-voted in favour of waiting it out. This section turned out to be the least enjoyable part of my eight months of travel.

It is your fault for putting up with that kind of shit honestly.

quote:

Originally posted by Zyklon_Jay It is your fault for putting up with that kind of shit honestly.

Don't be an idiot. You don't travel with someone for five months and then suddenly decide to dump them because of a couple of bad weeks. Travelling is like a mini marriage - you have to ride out the good and the bad, together.

While I think his findings are interesting it didn't lead me to the same conclusion. It instead left me with more questions about the nature of happiness and its application. For example if he showed this video to the people he tested would it change the out come?

Re: Re: Re: Is the pursuit of happiness a waste of time?

quote:

Originally posted by Domesticated While travelling extensively this year, I had a friend with me who was the complete opposite; even when it comes to choosing a meal, he can't make up his mind and always asks for more time to think. Watching him, it became apparent to me that this approach nearly always left him unhappy, feeling he'd made the wrong choice. On one leg of the trip, his girlfriend joined us, who is also extremely indecisive. I was prevented from making decisions about where to go and what to do, because I was always out-voted in favour of waiting it out. This section turned out to be the least enjoyable part of my eight months of travel.

I am the dithering type, too, always taking a long time and then regretting / analyzing my past choices.

Gi

quote:

Originally posted by igottaknow For example if he showed this video to the people he tested would it change the out come?

Probably not.

People don't like to believe that the conclusions of psychology apply to them. We're all unique snowflakes, exempt from generalizations. Gilbert discusses this in his book, Stumbling On Happiness.

I've always felt I was a snowflake.

quote:

Originally posted by Domesticated Don't be an idiot. You don't travel with someone for five months and then suddenly decide to dump them because of a couple of bad weeks. Travelling is like a mini marriage - you have to ride out the good and the bad, together.

The person that pretty much had his balls on a leash is calling me an idiot.

Don't like what they want to do, do your own thing...unless you like to be a latchkey kid that is.

Re: Gi

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Probably not. People don't like to believe that the conclusions of psychology apply to them. We're all unique snowflakes, exempt from generalizations. Gilbert discusses this in his book, Stumbling On Happiness.

That's not what I was thinking. Is it really possible to consciously over come your natural unconscious reactions?

Interesting video. I watched it all.

My problem with it is that he stresses that people overrate choice, but end up "liking" what they are left with if not given a choice. Yet our frontal lobe is designed to simulate likely outcomes. So why make the overrating mistake? I don't think that we developed this part of our brain to "overrate choice." It's designed to simulate a better future for us, and to "overrate" it on purpose in order to motivate us to behave towards that goal. If that goal is not met, THEN we go through synthetic happiness as a coping mechanism to resolve cognitive dissonance. I feel like he would have got to this had he spoken more, but the way I view it is we strive for natural happiness, and compromise with synthetic happiness when we lose, because no one wants to be a loser.

If i won that 315 million, I think I would be happy a year later... at Ultra...., living in a beach front suite, with 10 naked girls....
and every year thereafter...

Well, it's not like there's something better to do.

quote:

Originally posted by Jake Benson Interesting video. I watched it all. My problem with it is that he stresses that people overrate choice, but end up "liking" what they are left with if not given a choice. Yet our frontal lobe is designed to simulate likely outcomes. So why make the overrating mistake? I don't think that we developed this part of our brain to "overrate choice." It's designed to simulate a better future for us, and to "overrate" it on purpose in order to motivate us to behave towards that goal. If that goal is not met, THEN we go through synthetic happiness as a coping mechanism to resolve cognitive dissonance. I feel like he would have got to this had he spoken more, but the way I view it is we strive for natural happiness, and compromise with synthetic happiness when we lose, because no one wants to be a loser.

I agree. Synthetic happiness sounds like second place happiness, which makes it first place loser.

serious question though, what in the world would possess you to go on vacation as the third wheel for 5 months?

Re: Re: Re: Is the pursuit of happiness a waste of time?

quote:

Originally posted by Domesticated To anyone who actually watches the lecture, I found the photography course experiment extremely relevant to myself. I'm a very decisive person: I prefer to make quick choices and then deal with the consequences later, good or bad. Obviously I only do this when there's little information about which choice will be better, like in the experiment. This approach has nearly always worked out well for me, and made me happy. While travelling extensively this year, I had a friend with me who was the complete opposite; even when it comes to choosing a meal, he can't make up his mind and always asks for more time to think. Watching him, it became apparent to me that this approach nearly always left him unhappy, feeling he'd made the wrong choice. On one leg of the trip, his girlfriend joined us, who is also extremely indecisive. I was prevented from making decisions about where to go and what to do, because I was always out-voted in favour of waiting it out. This section turned out to be the least enjoyable part of my eight months of travel.

Interesting that you mentioned this because I read a review of a book on Scientific American Mind that deals precisely with this sort of thing.

The Art Of Choosing

quote:

Originally posted by Zyklon_Jay serious question though, what in the world would possess you to go on vacation as the third wheel for 5 months?

His girlfriend was with us on and off for a total of about a month. I was alone for about another month, which left him and I together for about six. Now stop trying to get a rise out me.

It was a serious question. You just spent a year on vacation, you should be relaxed and not so sensitive sista.

quote:

Originally posted by woscar Interesting that you mentioned this because I read a review of a book on Scientific American Mind that deals precisely with this sort of thing. The Art Of Choosing

I don't want to nit pick but Art is not a science

Dom: I've shared similar exp about doing activities with indecisive ppl. My mom is like that when we go to a restaurant it takes forever to order, she often asks the waitress what's "good". I had fiends in the past where we would spend an hour in the video store deciding on a movie. I'm not immune to it. Big purchase decisions I can drive myself crazy researching for best options and price.

quote:

Originally posted by igottaknow I've shared similar exp about doing activities with indecisive ppl. My mom is like that when we go to a restaurant it takes forever to order, she often asks the waitress what's "good". I had fiends in the past where we would spend an hour in the video store deciding on a movie. I'm not immune to it. Big purchase decisions I can drive myself crazy researching for best options and price.

is she indecisive also when it comes to buying you the toy that comes with the happy meal as well? by now she must know that you use it as bait to get the kids onto your bike.

duct tape is on sale at target btw.

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