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A complete body massage every day with old, heated urine

http://www.universal-tao.com/article/urine_therapy.html

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In this period, exclusively drink water and urine. It is best if you do not work during the fast. Although some exertion is possible, rest and relaxation are important in order for the purifying process to take place undisturbed. In the beginning, stay with drinking the middle stream. Alternated with urine, pure, clean water can be drunk. Once the fast has been in progress for some time, all the urine can be drunk. In this period, you will urinate quite easily (urinating every fifteen minutes is not unusual). A complete body massage every day with old, heated urine is highly recommended. Urine massage is good for blood circulation, and massaging with old urine also ensures that you do not have heart palpitations during the fast. Furthermore it serves as a way of feeding the body through the skin, immediately into the muscle and lymph tissue. During fasts, urine enemas are highly recommended. Many illnesses begin in the intestines and it is very important to get rid of toxic waste products stored in them and to keep them clean.

Go go alternative medicine!

Wow... Talk about watersports...

Blast it with piss.

You can keep your alternative medicines.

Urine should be kept in the mouth for twenty to thirty minutes or, when that seems too much, as long as possible. Gargling with urine is an effective way to fight gum problems or other month and tongue disorders. In addition, toothaches disappear quickly and teeth stay healthy...After gargling, spit the urine out again.

Painful, burning and tired eyes can be relieved by applying a few drops of fresh or boiled urine to the eyes.

For those who value smooth, flawless skin and a healthy appearance massaging fresh urine daily into the skin in the morning or in the evening is recommended. This is the secret of many a sex symbol and beauty queen.

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Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Painful, burning and tired eyes can be relieved by applying a few drops of fresh or boiled urine to the eyes.

Ah yes, boiling piss to the eyes. One of my favourites.

This reminds me of the time a bunch of us went to watch a football game at a rival high school. I had to use the washroom, so I asked someone wearing the other school's colours how to get there, and she said "The washrooms are for OUR students only " to which I replied "Well then I'll just piss in your eyes, bitch."

I don't really remember what happened after that. I know I found the bathrooms on my own though.

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Originally posted by Miss Pie I know I found the bathrooms on my own though.

What a big girl!

I guess Inuit shamen and whatnot used to drink the urine of various herbivores known for their consumptive constitution. Reindeer can process deadly mushrooms that humans often cannot, so when you drink their piss after they've eaten some insane lichen or shrooms, you'll of course get a diluted version of that drug's effects, and thereby begin seeing shit. Yes, seeing shit by drinking piss. It's magic, don't ask questions.

But one can only imagine they probably first started doing it since, in the cold of winter, urine steamed much like when we open our mouths, and ancient man thought this was our visual souls eeking out. So like, piss probably seemed like soul nectar... and when it caused you to see your lost relatives and lots of strange colours and other sensations, it's not hard at all to comprehend why one would actively further the religious process of shamanism.

As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither. Harold Schlumberg is such a person:

QUOTE FROM HAROLD

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I've often been asked,'What do you old folks do now that you're retired?' Well...I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whisky into urine. I do it every day and I really enjoy it.

Harold should be an inspiration to us all.

Urine therapists should piss off

I didn't read any of the post but shouldn't urine only to be used in stung by something in Hawaii?

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Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On I guess Inuit shamen and whatnot used to drink the urine of various herbivores known for their consumptive constitution. Reindeer can process deadly mushrooms that humans often cannot, so when you drink their piss after they've eaten some insane lichen or shrooms, you'll of course get a diluted version of that drug's effects, and thereby begin seeing shit. Yes, seeing shit by drinking piss. It's magic, don't ask questions. But one can only imagine they probably first started doing it since, in the cold of winter, urine steamed much like when we open our mouths, and ancient man thought this was our visual souls eeking out. So like, piss probably seemed like soul nectar... and when it caused you to see your lost relatives and lots of strange colours and other sensations, it's not hard at all to comprehend why one would actively further the religious process of shamanism.

sounds like my NYE

ba dum tss

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Originally posted by floyd741 ba dum pss

fxt

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Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On fxt

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During fasts, urine enemas are highly recommended.

I believe that would be "ba bum pss."

schhhhhhllllooooooooooooorrrckkkkkpkpffffsfsffsfsfsfssfs

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Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles For those who value smooth, flawless skin and a healthy appearance massaging fresh urine daily into the skin in the morning or in the evening is recommended. This is the secret of many a sex symbol and beauty queen.

Actually, baseball players (mainly catchers) have used it for a long time as a means of avoiding the use of batting gloves and to prevent calluses. Jorge Posada and Vlad Guerrero come to mind, as recent examples. Apparently, they sit there and soak their hands in it until it toughens the skin up.

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Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles This is the secret of many a sex symbol and beauty queen.

That's actually botox

(Another equally dumb thing to put on/in ones body)

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Originally posted by Lilith That's actually botox (Another equally dumb thing to put on/in ones body)

Actually I'd think Urine would be pretty benign compared to a nuerotoxin. Seeing that it comes out some pretty sensitive parts of your body and you have a big, umm, bladder of it in you already.

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Originally posted by Joss Weatherby Actually I'd think Urine would be pretty benign compared to a nuerotoxin. Seeing that it comes out some pretty sensitive parts of your body and you have a big, umm, bladder of it in you already.

She said it was equally dumb, not that they had the same toxicity. For a guy who supposedly reads alot you sure manage to put your own little spin on alot.

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Originally posted by dj_alfi She said it was equally dumb, not that they had the same toxicity. For a guy who supposedly reads alot you sure manage to put your own little spin on alot.

Its not equally dumb... Its far more stupid to inject yourself with a nuerotoxin than it is to rub urine on yourself.

Both are pretty stupid, but one is def waaaay more fucking stupid.

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