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-- The "blood" of Christ might have carried Hepatitis A

The "blood" of Christ might have carried Hepatitis A

It was only a matter of time until the ritual standing in line to swap bodily fluids, germs, and diseases while drinking "blood" from the same cup got Catholics in trouble. A little too long, I think.

quote:

Hepatitis A warning issued after Christmas communion on Long Island By Nina Golgowski, CNN January 4, 2011 -- Updated 0103 GMT (0903 HKT) New York (CNN) -- Hundreds of people might have been exposed to hepatitis A while receiving communion on Christmas Day, Long Island officials said Monday. The Nassau County Department of Health is offering vaccines to those who attended two services at Our Lady of Lourdes Church in Massapequa Park in Long Island, New York, according to Nassau County Department of Health spokeswoman Mary Ellen Laurain. Individuals might be at risk if they received communion during the 10:30 am and noon Masses, according to a statement from the county health department. "We know that there's a potential that (exposure) could have happened," she said. "We think the risk is relatively low." At least one member of the clergy involved in the communion process was infected with the disease, Laurain said. There have been no additional reports of illness. Some 1,300 people were in attendance between the two church services, she added. Symptoms of the disease include the onset of fever, fatigue, poor appetite, nausea, stomach pain, dark-colored urine and jaundice, according the statement. The disease is rarely fatal and most people recover within a few weeks without complications, it said. Individuals exposed to the disease should receive vaccination within two weeks of exposure, the statement said.

oh c'mon, as if Catholic body fluid swapping rituals have ever harmed anyone.

Isn't that right Africa?

haha ive been to that church. just not recently

I can't decide whether that's funny or embarrassing.

quote:

Originally posted by aquila I can't decide whether that's funny or embarrassing.

There's nothing saying it can't be both

true, true...

Jesus 'n diseases.

I was raised a Catholic and never drank wine from a cup during liturgy... is this the standard practice in North America?

There are so many girls I wish I could've exchanged fluids with during the services

This wouldn't have happened if they served proper booze in church with a decent percentage of alcohol in it to kill bugs.

quote:

Originally posted by Lira I was raised a Catholic and never drank wine from a cup during liturgy... is this the standard practice in North America? There are so many girls I wish I could've exchanged fluids with during the services

That's because you never did your 'first communion'. According to Catholic doctrine, one can only indulge in the pleasures of Christ's blood and body after going through that process.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Communion

quote:

Originally posted by woscar That's because you never did your 'first communion'. According to Catholic doctrine, one can only indulge in the pleasures of Christ's blood and body after going through that process. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Communion

Of course I did! I went all the way up to Confirmation! Incidentally, I was almost expelled from both courses for debating too much (my mother actually had to intervene in the first one, and I promised I'd pipe down... which I sort of failed to do).

Now where's my wine!?

Sorry about that. Putting up with that much bullshit and no booze!

why is this funny?

this is tragic.

woscar, you are plainly sick. your distaste for religion has turned into a sadistic hatred.

quote:

Originally posted by nefardec why is this funny? this is tragic. woscar, you are plainly sick. your distaste for religion has turned into a sadistic hatred.

Actually, this isn't either: Hep A is not really that bad, so I don't think it counts as a tragedy; and it doesn't really count as funny because it isn't an extraordinary/unexpected event. If a midget ninja gave the churchgoers tequila shots instead of wine, and that may well happen someday in Florida, then it would be funny... because it's not something we could see coming. Poor hygiene and diseases are known to be best friends.

Oh, well, this post was brought to you by the rule of funny, though it isn't itself an exemplar of a funny piece of writing.

quote:

Originally posted by nefardec why is this funny?

Because its always funny when bad stuff happens to people you dont know or care about. Especially if they are religious, then its twice as funny!

quote:

Originally posted by nefardec why is this funny? this is tragic. woscar, you are plainly sick. your distaste for religion has turned into a sadistic hatred.

No, this is "sadistic hatred". Your "distaste" for me is showing.

in before lomei and his flying carpet.

It would have been even funnier if it was actual blood.

quote:

Originally posted by Nrg2Nfinit in before lomei and his flying carpet. It would have been even funnier if it was actual blood.

Oh, but it is! At least according to Catholic dogma:

quote:

1376 The Council of Trent summarizes the Catholic faith by declaring: "Because Christ our Redeemer said that it was truly his body that he was offering under the species of bread, it has always been the conviction of the Church of God, and this holy Council now declares again, that by the consecration of the bread and wine there takes place a change of the whole substance of the bread into the substance of the body of Christ our Lord and of the whole substance of the wine into the substance of his blood. This change the holy Catholic Church has fittingly and properly called transubstantiation."

SOURCE

You don't need to tell me that, i went to catholic school lol.

You'll be surprised at how many Catholics I know think that it's only supposed to be symbolic.

quote:

Originally posted by woscar No, this is "sadistic hatred". Your "distaste" for me is showing.

i don't think i ever meant to make that a secret

No, it's funny because viruses are God's creatures, too, and according to the Bible, man is to have dominion over them. Clearly.

jesus is the antidote (seriously)

quote:

Originally posted by nefardec i don't think i ever meant to make that a secret

quote:

Originally posted by Mattinsanity jesus is the antidote (seriously)

Well theresWell if anyone there does catch hep a you can just add them to the list of sick people that would disagree with that statement.

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