Amphibolies - TranceAddict Forums

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-- Amphibolies

Posted by WittyHandle on Jan-07-2011 16:41:

Amphibolies

Amphibolies are syntactically ambiguous, meaning you can read them in more than one way.

DRUNK GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE

FARMER BILL DIES IN HOUSE

IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS

PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE

BRITISH LEFT WAFFLES ON FALKLAND ISLANDS

LUNG CANCER IN WOMEN MUSHROOMS

TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS

ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AXE

MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH

STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BY TREE

TWO SISTERS REUNITED AFTER 18 YEARS IN CHECKOUT COUNTER

NEVER WITHHOLD HERPES INFECTION FROM LOVED ONE

KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS

LANSING RESIDENTS CAN DROP OFF TREES

LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF

HOSPITAL SUED BY SEVEN FOOT DOCTORS

NEW VACCINE MAY CONTAIN RABIES

INCLUDE YOUR CHILDREN WHEN BAKING COOKIES

Posted by MrJiveBoJingles on Jan-07-2011 16:52:

There's always the old one:

"I have the heart of a little child...it's in a jar on a shelf at my house."

Posted by Silky Johnson on Jan-07-2011 16:57:

What's the other way to read the herpes one?

Posted by Lira on Jan-07-2011 16:58:

When it happens in newspaper headlines, it's usually called a "crash blossom", because of weird headlines like "Violinist linked to JAL crash blossoms". Here's more.

Posted by Moral Hazard on Jan-07-2011 17:01:

quote:
Originally posted by Miss Pie
What's the other way to read the herpes one?

one could take it to mean "one must never fail to disclose the fact that they are infected with herpes to a loved one" or "one should never avoid passing their herpes infection to a loved one."

Posted by WittyHandle on Jan-07-2011 17:03:

quote:
Originally posted by Miss Pie
What's the other way to read the herpes one?

Give your loved one herpes

and

Don't refrain from telling your loved one you have herpes

Posted by Lira on Jan-07-2011 17:08:

quote:
Originally posted by Miss Pie
What's the other way to read the herpes one?

Either give it to them or tell them about it.

Posted by Silky Johnson on Jan-07-2011 17:11:

OH! Haha, so obvious now. Thanks.

Posted by MeLLyMeL on Jan-07-2011 17:24:

tell them or give.

I just felt like reiterating it - again

Posted by Boomer187 on Jan-08-2011 04:07:

Keep an eye out for skullfarkers.

Posted by FuzzQi on Jan-08-2011 06:18:

LOL

Posted by WittyHandle on Jan-08-2011 10:43:

Really? I thought more of the frontal lobe coretx masturbators of the COR would jump at the chance to cum up with their own amphibolies

quote:
Originally posted by Boomer187
Keep an eye out for skullfarkers.

Nice one

Posted by Pokit on Jan-09-2011 04:22:

I helped my uncle jack off a horse

Posted by tubularbills on Jan-09-2011 05:38:

haha those were good

Posted by Sushipunk on Jan-09-2011 05:49:

quote:
Originally posted by Pokit
I helped my uncle jack off a horse

Posted by Lilith on Jan-09-2011 07:00:

Fatties fill shopping aisles

Posted by Lews on Jan-09-2011 08:51:

quote:
Originally posted by Pokit
I helped my uncle jack off a horse

The only one I found funny.

But it was damn funny

Posted by MeLLyMeL on Jan-09-2011 23:01:

quote:
Originally posted by Pokit
I helped my uncle jack off a horse
this is pretty awesome

Posted by WittyHandle on Jan-09-2011 23:59:

quote:
Originally posted by Lews
The only one I found funny.

But it was damn funny

The orig ones weren't supposed to be funny... just to hopefully plant the seeds for the more creative minds of the COR

Posted by igottaknow on Jan-10-2011 00:04:

THESE pretzels are making me thirsty