need advice from someone who writes songs, not tracks

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-- need advice from someone who writes songs, not tracks

Posted by VERtIKAL on Apr-11-2011 00:10:

need advice from someone who writes songs, not tracks

Hey Guys,
So I want to be a sellout and write a silly, clubby, summer song. I have an idea but no experience and I could definitely use some advice. I tried to leave room for the vocal so please keep that in mind.
It's a 1:30 min sample but it should give you enough of an idea.

http://playstopgo.com/temp/HangNail.mp3

Thank you. And remember, any feedback is good karma so please comment and you just may get lucky tonight!

Posted by Evolve140 on Apr-11-2011 00:47:

this would work if Bluemchen was on vocals . the production is a little flat and boring to me though. nothing really pops out at me, and can't really feel a groove.

Posted by VERtIKAL on Apr-11-2011 01:20:

well, it's not Lady Gaga but we can't aim that high

Posted by Evolve140 on Apr-11-2011 01:24:

i would never listen to lady gaga, and personally a lot of productions in this forum far exceed lady gaga's sound. we can't aim that high? you're certainly selling yourself short. i don't know how we went from me saying it was boring and flat production quality, to having an A&B comparison to lady gaga.

Posted by EddieZilker on Apr-11-2011 01:27:

Now, skeeter, he ain't hurtin' nobody.

Posted by VERtIKAL on Apr-11-2011 01:28:

Lol. I was kidding. If lady gaga can make it, we all can
What I meant is you don't have to be original to come up with a clubby song and that's what I'm going for.
I'd love to hear how I can improve it though.

Posted by Evolve140 on Apr-11-2011 01:32:

The phrasing is pretty cool, the edits you put at the end of each bar work well. I would say the only thing it's really missing is a huge hook. The mixdown isn't bad at all.

Posted by VERtIKAL on Apr-11-2011 01:33:

Thank you! Do you think vocal can be the hook?

Posted by Evolve140 on Apr-11-2011 01:35:

well it's certainly possible! it also helps to come up with a few lead melody lines for ideas, but if you come across a good vocalist she/he might just drop a huge hook right then on the spot.

Posted by Beatflux on Apr-11-2011 02:21:

Needs a proper structure. All you have no is a loop with some variations. Sounds extremely generic.

If you're going to rely on the vocals to carry the entire tune, it better be really catchy.

This is what I think of a when I think of a summer club song:

Posted by VERtIKAL on Apr-11-2011 02:25:

Thank you. I listened to that track and pretended there are no vocals.. I think I'm good