10 Creepiest Things About Zack Morris

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Posted by Scoops on May-12-2011 16:45:

10 Creepiest Things About Zack Morris

quote:

We all grew up watching Saved by the Bell. It's the unfortunate truth of our lives that most of our knowledge of how high school is meant to function is based on the actions of Zack Morris. And while we just sat down and watched as he charmed his way in and out of predicaments, bagging floozy after floozy, in retrospect Zack Morris was one of the creepiest, most amoral humans to ever grace our impressionable young eyes.

Here's a rundown of the most disturbing things he ever did:

1. Kept cardboard cutouts of the girl he was obsessed with in his closet, unbeknownst to said girl.
2. Got jealous of a close friend's athletic prowess and consequently convinced that friend he had a terminal illness that can only be cured by leaving everyone he loved and giving up the only life he's enjoyed.
3. Halted space and time just to say something to a camera that only he was aware of. (This seems to imply that he'd been secretly recording his life and the lives of others at all times for four years. Cameras in bedrooms, locker rooms, etc.)

4. Did not hesitate to brainwash hundreds of girls with subliminal messages regarding the fact that he is a blonde Tom Cruise.
5. Befriended school nerd but did not tell anyone why. Years later, he made out with the nerd's lifelong crush. It's called a long con.
6. After learning that his ancestors were Native American, he decided to honor his Native American mentor, who JUST DIED, by portraying Native Americans in the most stereotypical and racist way possible.

7. Regularly ruined the life of the man who stopped at nothing to see him succeed in both academics and as a contributing member of society.
8. Dated a homeless girl he met in the mall, giving the impression that he had integrity. The girl was never seen from or heard from again.

9. Dressed up as a woman in order to see girls changing.
10. Even in his wildest dreams, he fantasized about starting a band with his friends and achieving worldwide fame, only so he could abandon them and ruin their careers while he became a "Male Madonna."

That's it. I'm sure there's more, but this should get the dialogue going. Just look at this guy:

i can't believe they don't mention his phone

http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/...-creeps-also-do

Posted by bas on May-12-2011 17:35:

8. Dated a homeless girl he met in the mall, giving the impression that he had integrity. The girl was never seen from or heard from again.

Fully lol'd at that

Posted by Scoops on May-12-2011 17:40:

quote:
Originally posted by bas
8. Dated a homeless girl he met in the mall, giving the impression that he had integrity. The girl was never seen from or heard from again.

Fully lol'd at that

sad thing was she wasn't even that good looking

Posted by tubularbills on May-12-2011 18:09:

Zack Morris was kind of like the PG version of Max Tucker if you think about it

Posted by Vivid Boy on May-12-2011 19:24:

quote:
Originally posted by tubularbills
Zack Morris was kind of like the PG version of Max Tucker if you think about it

you and you're fuckin dog every post.

the cor has one strict rule:

NO DOGS ALLOWED!

get used to it, he wasnt the first to be unallowed to post in the cor.

Theres been chola, slylee, Paperbag etc.

Follow the rules and quit whining

:P

Posted by tubularbills on May-12-2011 19:35:

Posted by Domesticated on May-12-2011 20:01:

Posted by Halcyon+On+On on May-12-2011 20:09:

The last time I took a homeless girl home, her pussy looked like a gyro.

Posted by Scoops on May-12-2011 20:11:

quote:
Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
The last time I took a homeless girl home, her pussy looked like a gyro.

i take it smelled alot worse then a gyro

Posted by Halcyon+On+On on May-12-2011 20:12:

Extra tzatziki.

Posted by Domesticated on May-12-2011 20:17:

I went to high school with a guy who looked like Screech. We used to give him hell about it. Good times.

Posted by Sushipunk on May-12-2011 22:51:

Doesn't he do gay porn now? Or is that someone else?

Posted by Tasty Onions on May-12-2011 22:55:

Screech did a homemade sex tape thing and released it for publicity. Never heard about Zack doing porn.

Posted by bas on May-12-2011 23:09:

No, Zack Morris has starred in a string of failed lawyer dramedies where he has long hair. I think he's on number 3 right now, Franklin & Bash.

Posted by wizniz on May-12-2011 23:35:

his twin boys are doing well for themselves

Posted by shaw on May-12-2011 23:42:

quote:
Originally posted by wizniz
his twin boys are doing well for themselves

What. The. Fuck.

Posted by BTG on May-12-2011 23:54:

quote:
Originally posted by Sushipunk
Doesn't he do gay porn now? Or is that someone else?

you're thinking of the red power ranger

Posted by Sushipunk on May-12-2011 23:56:

quote:
Originally posted by BTG
you're thinking of the red power ranger

Oh yeah, that's right!

Cheers, that was bugging me

Posted by bas on May-13-2011 00:26:

quote:
Originally posted by BTG
you're thinking of the red power ranger

He didn't do gay porn

Posted by The17sss on May-13-2011 00:27:

quote:
Originally posted by bas
No, Zack Morris has starred in a string of failed lawyer dramedies where he has long hair. I think he's on number 3 right now, Franklin & Bash.

I thought he did surprisingly well during his 3 or 4 years on NYPD Blue; only time I respected his acting. He saved that show from the Rick Schroder abomination that happened after Jimmy Smits left. I'm actually optimistic for Franklin & Bash and I can't stand Brecken Meyer.

Posted by Renzo on May-13-2011 00:27:

Actually, Bassel, he did.

Posted by Renzo on May-13-2011 00:30:

I'm pretty sure Franklin & Bash has already been cancelled.

Posted by bas on May-13-2011 00:34:

quote:
Originally posted by Renzo
Actually, Bassel, he did.

Are you sure? I thought that was just a rumor, I even tried checking Snopes

Posted by Renzo on May-13-2011 00:36:

Google says yes

http://dlisted.blogspot.com/2006/03...-porn-star.html

NSFW - but safe for Avana

Posted by The17sss on May-13-2011 00:56:

quote:
Originally posted by Renzo
I'm pretty sure Franklin & Bash has already been cancelled.

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