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Buying a lady a drink...

JohnSmith gave me this idea from another thread. Just curious what everyone thinks about buying a lady a drink. I dont mind buying, but sometimes I kinda feel like I'm being taken advantage of.

For example, one time this girl starts flirting with me and asks me to buy her a drink, no sooner than I do, she's gettin another drink from a guy and getting a back rub. I find out later this girl is a psycho who plays these types of games, so I'm not blaming all women.

My point being is that nothing is free and when you buy something for someone there is usually an implied string attached. So I only buy drinks for friends where there is nothing implied either way. Am I making sense?

quote:

Originally posted by JohnSmith While we are on the subject, i think there is some unfairness here. the other day, i went to the bar with this chick, and my girlfriend, and some other people. we were all getting quite drunk. me and this chick go up to the bar, i tell her i will buy her a drink for her birthday, she is like, thanks! so, in the line up, some guy comes up to her, and is like "hey can i buy you a drink?" she says sure. he didn't even know it was her birthday! then we get to the bar, i buy me a drink, and her one too. then she says to the bartender, it's my birthday! he says "hey, here's another one on the house!" so, i say "hey it's my birthday too!" he says, "sorry buddy, buzz off" so, final score, 3 free drinks for her, and i got to pay for two myself. WTF! i hate when women complain about inequality while still reaping the benefits of it everyday. although, i realize that free drinks does not make up for years of oppression, there is a time to cut of the retibution and just make it an even playing field. unfortunately, i don't that will ever happen.

doh!

why don't we change it for a weekend or something?

don't buy a girl a drink, let her buy you a drink, if she doesn't want to, find someone else who will, there are plenty of girls out there.

yeah, glad you made a seperate topic for this.

for what it's worth, i have bought many girls drinks, NEVER been interested in any of them (i have a wonderful girlfriend already)

i have NEVER been bought a drink by a girl.

that being said, if a girl DID offer to buy me a drink, i would assume she wanted to fuck me.

hmm well since this is here, ill repost what i said in the other thread:

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johnsmith: yea, tho i hardly ever get free drinks most guys dont like girls covered in cyborg tats, with lots of piercings, wearing comfortable non-sluttish clothes :/

in fact i think ive only gotten free drinks maybe 4 times in my life (not counting my 21st bday)... so.. heh. oh well.

on the flip side, i have bought drinks on several occasion for this boy ive liked for 3 years that still doesnt give me the time of day :/
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those few times ive been given free drinks, i do wonder why... cuz usually they are from people who are totally different than me. curious.

hmm

while on that topic....this girl made me spend alot on my own drinks the other day...lol

and the day before that, this other girl was practically throwing cash for drinks but i stopped her and i paid instead

the whole buying a drink shit is just a gay way of saying "hi"

just because someone is different than you doesn't mean they don't like you, or wouldn't be interested in a relationship with you.

me and my girlfriend are polar opposites!

i buy drinks for girls on their birthday, cuz i'm a nice guy. or just cuz i think they are cool. and even though i'm not into tatoos or piercings myself, i think you are kinda cute.

but it doesn't mean that i am buying you a drink, because i want you!

and the funny thing is, sometimes i FEEL like buying a girl a drink, but i am worried SHE will think i want to fuck her!

and, even worse, sometimes i feel like buying a guy a drink, but i am worried people will think i am homo!

ah, i usually do it anyway, but still society is fucked up like that.

quote:

Originally posted by PatMcGroin the whole buying a drink shit is just a gay way of saying "hi"

totally agree on that!
if you really want to get in touch with a girl, start talking with her.. introduce yourself, talk with her, listen to what she got to say etc

dont start with the drink

there are so many other ways to do this...

as for me, i only buy drinks/beer to girls i know, my friends.
not that i do that so often either, but i wouldnt use money on a girl i dont know only so i can establish some kind of contact with her..
i do that in other ways.. maybe its because i live here in norway where everything is 10x the price of all other places..
you'r not so tempted to spend $15 on a 'long island istea' you are giving away to a person that you dont know..

you rather spend that money on a person you do know, a person you like, a person who appreciates it
that's at least my philosophy when it comes to buying drinks to a girl.

i'd rather please a friend with a drink than an unknown person..

quote:

Originally posted by sothis ...i hardly ever get free drinks most guys dont like girls covered in cyborg tats, with lots of piercings, wearing comfortable non-sluttish clothes...

I hate being a hippo-crit but here goes anyways.

*saunters over to sothis at the bar*

I couldnt help notice your skull tatoo from across the room...ummmm....can i buy you a drink...

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I guess ppl buy drinks for all sorts of reasons, but most of the time guys do it to prove their manhood or to impress the girl. Society teaches us that women attract men by their beauty (fashion, makeup, boobs, etc) and guys attract women by our power (money, job, car, strength, asertiveness, etc). So the buying a drink seems like some age old way of showing her you have financial means and interest to provide for her.

The main rule of thumb here is: (in theory..)

Girls that get bought drinks normally will NOT want to be with you and whatnot because the first thing you've done is conceded to her. Girls in general don't want a man they can walk all over, there's no fun in that, contrary to pop. belief they do want someone that isn't too easy; in that respect they may also be thinking "hmm he hasn't bought me a drink, why not? All the other guys have tonight". Create interest in how you talk, and who you are. Not how many drinks she can steal from you....

also, heaps of my chick friends I hear when we have coffee or whatever saying "oh yeah and that other guy who gave me a drink" or"hehe I got like 4 drinks, and that other one was sooo wrong".

when me and my sister go out (on the rare occasion) she gets dirnks from friends and other guys.....and generally doesn't bring much cash.

just my opinion, not true for everyone obviously, but if a girl is half-good looking, trust me, she'll be getting enough drinks as it is. Get her to buy you a drink, make her do some work (don't force her) but turn it around by the way you talk etc. so that she wants to pick up you. (I know this ain't a pick up thread, but the rule applies to other situations).

but buy drinks for friends, even girls, cos you know that's just being nice . or b'days that's ok, but don't waste your money on chicks that are more than happy to get free drinks, from everyone...

....I'm done

i always find a nice drink of gamma-hydrobutryte works well with the ladies

quote:

Originally posted by DuMonde TrAnCeR i always find a nice drink of gamma-hydrobutryte works well with the ladies

I asume ur talkin bout that date rape drug ---^

I think i like Hybrid Junkie ideas on this drink thing better.

*jots down some notes*

Jot away....

quote:

Girls that get bought drinks normally will NOT want to be with you and whatnot because the first thing you've done is conceded to her. Girls in general don't want a man they can walk all over

i think this is a really silly male assumption. and you are reading way too much into it. most girls i know, are flattered if someone buys them a drink. they dont automatically think "oh shit! hes too easy".

quote:

"hmm he hasn't bought me a drink, why not? All the other guys have tonight".

you must hang out with a lot of egotistical, pretentious girls.

quote:

Originally posted by sothis you must hang out with a lot of egotistical, pretentious girls.

welcome to the fucking real world

Isnt this from www.pickupguide.com uhh..dont as how I know. I just know

quote:

welcome to the fucking real world

a world you choose on your own account.

there are lots of non egotistical, non pretentious girls out there. next time you are at a club, dont go for the girl with the shortest skirt and 2 hours worth of makeup and hair preparation. (shrug, im one of them). talk to them, dont always choose the ridiculously done up fake girls. then you might meet some of those non pretentious girls im talking about.

quote:

Originally posted by DuMonde TrAnCeR i always find a nice drink of gamma-hydrobutryte works well with the ladies

ROFL! The funny thing is Ste, the ladies in the clubs that we both go to would probably prefer a glass of GHB to anything else

what i think is so hilarious is that several guys in this thread (GUYS, not girls) are acting like they know exactly whats up with women... whats especially funny is you actually think a woman stops and has a 5 minute dialog with herself, totally reading into something as stupid as someone buying them a drink!

NEWSFLASH!!!
dont read into it so much, guys. just because you buy someone a drink, doesnt mean the woman will think you arent good enough or whatever other stupid shit people are saying they will do. its not a contest, it isnt a mating dance... so please, for the love of god, stop thinking its some super complicated thing. and christ, stop being so egotistical. just because you buy someone a drink, doesnt mean she automatically thinks you want to have sex with her. most women i know accept graciously, maybe have a chat, but definitely dont do any of these silly things you boys are talking about.

quote:

On the other hand, if I'm talking to a woman that I'm interested in, she expects me to prove that I'm a worthy man to have sex with (a man who's normal, honest, smart and brave). Offering a drink immediately proves that I'm unworthy

this comment made me laugh out loud. please tell me you arent being serious.

next time i go anywhere ill remember that as a woman, im supposed to size up any guy who does any nice thing for me as "is he a good person to have sex with" material. *laughs more*

yep, two men who wrote books certainly know everything about women, right? rofl. unless they used to be a female and got a sex change, im sorry, i dont buy it. you should learn your facts from women themselves instead of guys who think they know what they are talking about

quote:

Originally posted by DuMonde TrAnCeR i always find a nice drink of gamma-hydrobutryte works well with the ladies

hahaha

Sothis everyone is obviously different, and I don't like to think these are ROCK SOLID rules, we're not tying to make a stereotype ....BUT...more often than not this proves true..


also these aren't "5 min conversations" that go on in your head they're automatic repsonses which do affect how you act whether you notice it or not (not everyone will react the same way). This is PSYCHOLOGY, laugh if you want but this stuff is a good general guide....and are you saying you know all women because of how you would act?

Don't be a hypocrite, and I'm not flaming just adding my opinion, no hard feelings pls.

perhaps you think its a good general guide, but i think its laughable. you are right, i am not saying all women act the way i am saying... but it sure as hell sounds like the majority opinion of all the guys in the room is that most women A) think you want to fuck her if you buy her a drink and B) are sizing you up... which i highly disagree with, as a woman.

all im saying, is rather than making up these opinions and believing what you read in books, maybe its better to learn what women think by talking to them, rather than making all these silly assumptions.

quote:

Originally posted by igottaknow I asume ur talkin bout that date rape drug ---^

of course not!

*rubs hands evilly*

quote:

Originally posted by Spad ROFL! The funny thing is Ste, the ladies in the clubs that we both go to would probably prefer a glass of GHB to anything else

but who are we to complain spad

*continues to rub hands evilly*

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