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The Aussie Humour thread
Simple as that. This thread is going to be the successor to the junk thread, feel free to whack all the good stuff, jokes and classics in here and in particular stuff no-one else would get besides us
After all we do have our own rather caustic sense of humour! Lets begin
Start button = G'day
ripper
shit, i was gonna use the windaz one! i guess i cant contribute to this thread much.
The john hoppawatoo (spelt so very wrong) one was funny, and the moses one.
and
why the fuck are we browsing the forums at 2am WST!?
| quote: |
| Originally posted by escee shit, i was gonna use the windaz one! i guess i cant contribute to this thread much. The john hoppawatoo (spelt so very wrong) one was funny, and the moses one. and why the fuck are we browsing the forums at 2am WST!? |
lol 4 am u bunch of nuts
"It is indeed fitting that we gather here today to pay tribute to Abraham Lincoln, who was born in a log cabin that he built with his own hands."
- an unnamed politician in a speech honoring Lincoln
i love american bashing. anyone watch CNNNN on ABC? they good bash american. 
"Mr. Speaker, this bill is phony with a capital F."
- congressman, during a heated congressional debate
"I wouldn't want anything to happen to the President of the United States, even though I might be in some kind of line of succession. It probably will never happen, but it's nice to think about anyway."
- Senator Warren Magnuson, upon becoming president pro tem of the Senate
"Send all the details. Never mind the facts."
- telegram from the editor of the old New York World to his Washington correspondent
"I will not tolerate intolerance."
- Senator Bob Dole on Pat Buchanan
I'm sure he's very big back in his own country.
- New York City policeman commenting about Garth Brooks' free concert for over 250,000 fans in Central Park
I don't know anyone here that's been killed with a handgun.
- Representative Avery Alexander (D-New Orleans) during a Louisiana legislature debate on gun control.
"The Internet is a great way to get on the Net."
- Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole.
"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe."
- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.
"The more killings and homicides you have, the more havoc it prevents."
- Richard M. Daley, mayor of Chicago, commenting on the rise of crime in his city
"Lead us in a few words of silent prayer."
- ex-Houston Oiler and Florida State coach Bill Peterson
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
- Chuck Nevitt, basketball player at NC State University
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
-Brooke Shields
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
"They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off."
- Pratt & Whitney spokesperson, explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1,000 for a pair of pliers
haha. i really love american bashing
LMFAO AT THE PICS. Especially at the Explorer button labelled "PORN"
hehehe more!! more pls!!!
AUTAS
get on Webchat u bunch of post whores
this is great! The John Hopoate one is class, "they've hired me cause I'm good at finding cracks"...bwahahahah!!
| quote: |
| Originally posted by dr me anyone watch CNNNN on ABC? |
rofl nice pics
muahahaha
time for me to post some of my funny pics
looks like a top night out to me:
i think this one was taken on Windsor Rd:
best tasting blue screen i've ever seen:
ahh osama, butt of the world's jokes:
new Mastercard ad:
how to spoil a romantic evening:
coming soon on PS2 and X-Box:
nothing i can say about this one except
| quote: |
| Originally posted by webmeister looks like a top night out to me: |
My boyz r here!
This image reminds me of that TV show Pizza! Ahh, I love that show
it's true he is wearing glasses and jules is the only one i know of that does. But you don't know from the camera angle if the clubbers all have their hands in the air cuz of the music or if they're all trying to lunge at him cuz of the music.
I suspect it's the latter 
Re: My boyz r here!
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Ves This image reminds me of that TV show Pizza! Ahh, I love that show |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Tranzmit it's true he is wearing glasses and jules is the only one i know of that does. But you don't know from the camera angle if the clubbers all have their hands in the air cuz of the music or if they're all trying to lunge at him cuz of the music. I suspect it's the latter |
I suspect this isn't what you intended for your Aussie humour thread, but it's a joke that includes an Aussie so here it is:
Three men are sitting in the maternity ward of a hospital
waiting for the imminent birth of their respective children.
One is an Australian, one a New Zealander and the other a
West Indian. They are all very nervous and pacing the floor
- as you do in these situations. All of a sudden the doctor
bursts through the double doors saying "Gentlemen you won't
believe this but your wives have all had their babies within
5 minutes of each other."
The men are beside themselves with happiness and joy.
"And", said the doctor, "They have all had little boys."
The fathers are ecstatic and congratulate each other over
and over.
"However we do have one slight problem," the doctor said.
"In all the confusion we may have mixed the babies up
getting them to the nursery and would be grateful if you
could join us there to try and help identify them."
With that the Kiwi raced passed the doctor and bolted to
the nursery. Once inside he picked up a dark skinned
infant with dreadlocks saying, "there's no doubt about it,
this boy is mine!" The doctor looked bewildered and said,
"Well sir of all the babies I would have thought that
maybe this child could be of West Indian descent."
"That's a maybe", said the Kiwi, "but one of the other two is a
fucking Aussie and I'm not taking the risk."
LOL thats funny!! I'm guessing your a kiwi then Mad_atta? Nah it's cool post whatever stuff makes you laugh, it doesn't have to be "Aussie" per se
...and there was I trying to start a flame war (not really)! Glad to hear that humour taking the piss out of the Aussies is fair game...
Hey! You edited! Yup, I'm a kiwi... well, sort of. I thought the flag kind of gave that away
Oh so you WERE trying to start a flame war eh? Hmmmmm
Poor deluded Kiwis! Wouldn't know what a football was if it hit them in the face
teh heh
| quote: |
| Originally posted by mad_atta Hey! You edited! Yup, I'm a kiwi... well, sort of. I thought the flag kind of gave that away |
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