TranceAddict Forums (www.tranceaddict.com/forums)
- Chill Out Room
-- Coworker sexually assaulted me; boss is angry with me that it happened.
Pages (9): [1] 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 »

Coworker sexually assaulted me; boss is angry with me that it happened.

So last night I gave a coworker a ride home like I have quite a few times before. He tried to sexually attack me when I dropped him off. Unfortunately as there were no witnesses and I have no physical marks I was informed there probably will not be a case against him (found out he has a 3-page long criminal history sheet, and sexual assault (dismissed) was on there a few years ago).

That isn't what bothers me. What bothers me is the reaction of my boss. He is angry about this; not that an employee of his attacked another employee but because I essentially let it happen. He is not going to fire the guy until he is formally charged or arrested (which I agree is fair), but he complained to one of my coworkers this morning without my permission, who was in no way involved and is not management what happened and now he has to do 'all this paperwork'. He said he has no professional or personal opinion on the matter, but it is very clear he is angry.

Today he was berating me for not smiling enough and being distracted. He is also angry that I will no longer work evenings (that is when the other coworker works) and now has to hire someone else to cover for me. What I also find odd is I confided in a good friend at work, and when the manager found out he stormed over and told me very sternly I am not allowed to speak a single word about this incident to anyone. Ever. Period. Yet when I pointed out he told one of the staff he stormed off. He was barking at me for every little thing today. I was scratching my arm and he came over, yelling that I am picking at my skin in front of guests (there were no guests around me at the time) and am disgusting and need to go wash my hands. He told me that the back portion of the restaurant was closed off, then yelled at me when I had us go on a wait because we had an unexpected lunch rush. He found a small smudge on the glass door after someone had pushed it open and yelled I was being lazy.

I am not expecting to be coddled because of this, but I am concerned about his reaction (this is also a man who used to talk to me in a sexually suggestive manner. Considering the money he paid me to do basically nothing I just ignored him since he never made any advances towards me). Is his reaction normal?

I am really, really scared he is going to fire me. I mean, considering my hours are now severely cut I should look for other employment elsewhere, but I would rather have a job lined up instead of being jobless and taking anything out of desperation.

Go to HR and tell them that he was discussing that matter with another coworker. Incredibly unprofessional and probably grounds for termination.

quote:

Originally posted by srussell0018 Go to HR and tell them that he was discussing that matter with another coworker. Incredibly unprofessional and probably grounds for termination.

Yup.

I hope the perv gets sent to a pound you in the ass prison. Fucking scum.

Something somewhat similar happened where I work a couple months ago. One girl who worked there accused another employee of raping her, and he was actually brought out of work in handcuffs and arrested. Apparently it was dismissed and now he's back working there again. I can't believe something like that would happen. If I had the authority to fire him he'd be out on his ass for whatever reason I could think of.

Re: Coworker sexually assaulted me; boss is angry with me that it happened.

quote:

Originally posted by Banora because I essentially let it happen

How so!? He sounds like a major male chauvinistic bastard.

First fired for not liking sports, now possibly for being a women...

I think the obvious answer here is that the universe is telling you to get a sex change.

give us a low down on what happened..

He sexually attacked you? Did he like wip it out? try to kiss you?

i'm just curious on what you define as attack.

quote:

Originally posted by Nrg2Nfinit give us a low down on what happened.. He sexually attacked you? Did he like wip it out? try to kiss you? i'm just curious on what you define as attack.

No you aren't, you just want Banora to talk dirty.

no im just curious

Is he a restaurant manager? If so most are complete scumbags.

quote:

Originally posted by jonSun Is he a restaurant manager? If so most are complete scumbags.

And co-owner.

quote:

Originally posted by srussell0018 Something somewhat similar happened where I work a couple months ago. One girl who worked there accused another employee of raping her, and he was actually brought out of work in handcuffs and arrested. Apparently it was dismissed and now he's back working there again. I can't believe something like that would happen. If I had the authority to fire him he'd be out on his ass for whatever reason I could think of.

Considering there is probably no case against him (will get dismissed like his last sexual assault case) it means he probably won't have any sort or reprimand.

quote:

Originally posted by Joss Weatherby First fired for not liking sports, now possibly for being a women... I think the obvious answer here is that the universe is telling you to get a sex change.

I would make a cute boy

quote:

Originally posted by srussell0018 Go to HR and tell them that he was discussing that matter with another coworker. Incredibly unprofessional and probably grounds for termination.

He co-owns the restaurant. I... honestly don't know if there is an HR person.

quote:

Originally posted by Nrg2Nfinit give us a low down on what happened.. He sexually attacked you? Did he like wip it out? try to kiss you? i'm just curious on what you define as attack.

No I am absolutely fine describing what happened.

So a bit of background, I sometimes watch/walk his dog when he is working and I am off (we usually work the same shift) for a bit of side cash so I have been alone with him in his apartment and he has never, ever made any advancements, never been weird, has pictures of his dog and daughter everywhere and gushes about them all the time, etc etc. Basically, I never had any reason to suspect he would behave this way. Everyone at works seems to like him, always shows up to work and does a good job...

Anyway I was walking to my car when my coworker approached me, we stood outside chatting and he was telling me how excited he was because his daughter is in town (lives with her mother in another state). He said she was at his apartment with the dog (Emi is the dog) and asked since I hadn't seen Emi in nearly three weeks if I wanted to run up and see her and meet his daughter. I said sure. We get to his apartment and he yells for his daughter, but no one answers and he is like "eh, I guess she took Emi for a walk." This had happened before, but with his neighbor, so I had no reason to think this was out of the ordinary.

So his living room has two couches divided by a large coffee table. I sit on one and he sits on the other and the tv is on (showing the Treyvon Martin case) so we are discussing that case. About twenty minutes pass and I want to get home at a reasonable hour so I say I am going to head off at the next commercial. He says okay. He then gets up and walks over to where I am and kneels next to the coffee table and opens a drawer. Then suddenly his hands are on my feet/calves. I asked him what is he doing (he is a goofy kind of guy so I thought he was being funny or going to pull a prank) and he says for me to relax. I told him to stop and his hands went further up my legs (I was wearing a dress) and kept edging backward (he has a very large and deep couch so I was kind of sunk in the couch) and he kept telling me to relax, its alright. I jerked my legs from his grasp and one of his hands went up very far on my right inner thigh.

There was a split second of a pause. We locked eyes and he had this... piercing.... focused... I can't describe it but it reminded me of the way a dog looks the second before it attacks. He lunged himself onto me and pushed me back into the couch. I have no idea how but but I managed to wiggle out from under him and he grabbed my dress and little sweater cover which he ended up tearing the sleeve and yanked down my dress and was screaming "no" "stop" as I ran to the door. I am incredibly lucky he didn't lock the door. I ran down the hallway screaming and looked behind me to see him standing out in the hall. I ran to the emergency stairs and ran downstairs. Their front desk person was there and I was pretty incoherent (and with my dress hanging down around my waist, though my sweater was covering my boobs) she had enough sense to call the cops.

Not even five minutes after he came to the front door of the building, knocked on the door and said "you dropped these", laid down my shoes and keys and left.

Holy christ

I am truly sorry that happened to ya...

I dunno Jori it sounds like every job you work at there seems to be some weird incident which gets you fired.

Ive only been fired once and i worked at the place for 5 years before it happened. For 5 years the owners son (who ran the place) hated me because I would rip on him in front of people. The man despised me when I told people how he couldn't change a tire and still I worked there untouched because I was good at what I did.

It was only until he showed up to work with purple suede shoes when i cracked a zinger so hard in front of half the company (30+ people) and people started calling him "suede" that I finally got fired.....for talking too much lol and also having a bad knee. lol


Anyways by that time I was rockin in real estate and other companies had their eye on me for a supervisor position so I didnt care too much about being fired, Just the fact I was going to lose all my cool work friends i liked a lot.

quote:

Originally posted by Banora I would make a cute boy

I would go gay gay gay for you.


Anyways, that is a shitty ass situation.

My advice would have been not to even bring it up to your boss until the cops are involved though. I know that sounds shitty, but honestly most people are douchebags and your bosses reaction is pretty much what I'd expect out of most people in his position.

Did you file a police report? Are you pressing charges? If so just make sure to really put the emphasis on him being a coworker, you driving him home from work, where you were also working, etc. That way if the media ever get a wiff of it then they will probably make a point of it to mention that, putting pressure on the company to take action.

Anyway, good luck.

quote:

Originally posted by Vivid Boy I dunno Jori it sounds like every job you work at there seems to be some weird incident which gets you fired. Ive only been fired once and i worked at the place for 5 years before it happened. For 5 years the owners son (who ran the place) hated me because I would rip on him in front of people. The man despised me when I told people how he couldn't change a tire and still I worked there untouched because I was good at what I did. It was only until he showed up to works with purple suede shoes and i cracked a zinger so hard in front of half the company (30+ people) and people began laughing so hard and started calling him "suede" that I finally got fired.....for talking too much lol and also having a bad knee. lol Anyways by that time I was rockin in real estate and other companies had their eye on me for a supervisor position so I didnt care too much about being fired, Just the fact I was going to lose all my cool work friends i liked a lot.

Not every job, but shit dude, I have had horrific luck lately. Then again I work as a very disposable pawn in shitty retail/restaurant/entry level office. I am adult enough to say when I fucked up and was fired for it, but it has been awhile since I have actively fucked up so bad I deserved to be fired. I also have noticed most of my issues seem to stem when I work with a heavily woman dominated environment. I hate to pull that card but besides the restaurant that has been a trend. Not to say I haven't gotten along well in an environment with women before, but the last few jobs... nope.

quote:

Originally posted by Vivid Boy I dunno Jori it sounds like every job you work at there seems to be some weird incident which gets you fired. Ive only been fired once and i worked at the place for 5 years before it happened. For 5 years the owners son (who ran the place) hated me because I would rip on him in front of people. The man despised me when I told people how he couldn't change a tire and still I worked there untouched because I was good at what I did. It was only until he showed up to works with purple suede shoes and i cracked a zinger so hard in front of half the company (30+ people) and people began laughing so hard and started calling him "suede" that I finally got fired.....for talking too much lol and also having a bad knee. lol Anyways by that time I was rockin in real estate and other companies had their eye on me for a supervisor position so I didnt care too much about being fired, Just the fact I was going to lose all my cool work friends i liked a lot.

You made fun of the bosses son... I hope you honestly didn't give a fuck about that job, otherwise you kinda come off as too stupid for your own good there Eric.

quote:

Originally posted by Joss Weatherby I would go gay gay gay for you. Anyways, that is a shitty ass situation. My advice would have been not to even bring it up to your boss until the cops are involved though. I know that sounds shitty, but honestly most people are douchebags and your bosses reaction is pretty much what I'd expect out of most people in his position. Did you file a police report? Are you pressing charges? If so just make sure to really put the emphasis on him being a coworker, you driving him home from work, where you were also working, etc. That way if the media ever get a wiff of it then they will probably make a point of it to mention that, putting pressure on the company to take action. Anyway, good luck.

Yeah I spoke with a prosecutor and detective today. They were the ones who told me there probably isn't any case out of this given the lack of evidence and no damage to me. If I do get fired or my boss becomes so shitty to me that I have to quit I may just let the media know. We are a brand new restaurant with raving reviews, the hottest spot in town. I doubt they'd want any sort of negative press.

quote:

Originally posted by Joss Weatherby You made fun of the bosses son... I hope you honestly didn't give a fuck about that job, otherwise you kinda come off as too stupid for your own good there Eric.

the old man loved me, I was the only person in that place that could do what I could do, and I had other companies wanting to hire me. I didn't like the guy because he was a 50 yr old man child who sat in an office filled with goldfish aquariums and barking down peoples necks to make himself feel important. I used to watch his father scream at him because he was too scared to pick up a phone to make a sales call. Yet he drove a mazzeratti. 50 yr old loser who would steal my man power to get them to pick up his laundry. fuck him and his crackhead brother.

quote:

Originally posted by Banora No I am absolutely fine describing what happened. So a bit of background, I sometimes watch/walk his dog when he is working and I am off (we usually work the same shift) for a bit of side cash so I have been alone with him in his apartment and he has never, ever made any advancements, never been weird, has pictures of his dog and daughter everywhere and gushes about them all the time, etc etc. Basically, I never had any reason to suspect he would behave this way. Everyone at works seems to like him, always shows up to work and does a good job... Anyway I was walking to my car when my coworker approached me, we stood outside chatting and he was telling me how excited he was because his daughter is in town (lives with her mother in another state). He said she was at his apartment with the dog (Emi is the dog) and asked since I hadn't seen Emi in nearly three weeks if I wanted to run up and see her and meet his daughter. I said sure. We get to his apartment and he yells for his daughter, but no one answers and he is like "eh, I guess she took Emi for a walk." This had happened before, but with his neighbor, so I had no reason to think this was out of the ordinary. So his living room has two couches divided by a large coffee table. I sit on one and he sits on the other and the tv is on (showing the Treyvon Martin case) so we are discussing that case. About twenty minutes pass and I want to get home at a reasonable hour so I say I am going to head off at the next commercial. He says okay. He then gets up and walks over to where I am and kneels next to the coffee table and opens a drawer. Then suddenly his hands are on my feet/calves. I asked him what is he doing (he is a goofy kind of guy so I thought he was being funny or going to pull a prank) and he says for me to relax. I told him to stop and his hands went further up my legs (I was wearing a dress) and kept edging backward (he has a very large and deep couch so I was kind of sunk in the couch) and he kept telling me to relax, its alright. I jerked my legs from his grasp and one of his hands went up very far on my right inner thigh. There was a split second of a pause. We locked eyes and he had this... piercing.... focused... I can't describe it but it reminded me of the way a dog looks the second before it attacks. He lunged himself onto me and pushed me back into the couch. I have no idea how but but I managed to wiggle out from under him and he grabbed my dress and little sweater cover which he ended up tearing the sleeve and yanked down my dress and was screaming "no" "stop" as I ran to the door. I am incredibly lucky he didn't lock the door. I ran down the hallway screaming and looked behind me to see him standing out in the hall. I ran to the emergency stairs and ran downstairs. Their front desk person was there and I was pretty incoherent (and with my dress hanging down around my waist, though my sweater was covering my boobs) she had enough sense to call the cops. Not even five minutes after he came to the front door of the building, knocked on the door and said "you dropped these", laid down my shoes and keys and left.

THATS MY MOVE!

quote:

Originally posted by Banora Yeah I spoke with a prosecutor and detective today. They were the ones who told me there probably isn't any case out of this given the lack of evidence and no damage to me. If I do get fired or my boss becomes so shitty to me that I have to quit I may just let the media know. We are a brand new restaurant with raving reviews, the hottest spot in town. I doubt they'd want any sort of negative press.

Post it on reddit anonymously. They'd eat it up.

quote:

Originally posted by Joss Weatherby Post it on reddit anonymously. They'd eat it up.

I did but no one has responded.

was he puerto rican?

sorry about what happened. you may have some legal remedies depending upon in which state you are.

don't think that because he didn't take it as far as he wanted to go, that you won't have some health issues down the line. may i suggest that you write everything down in case you need to document something such as retaliation in the future.


again sorry. this kind of shit seems to happen to some of the nicest people.

she shouldnt have been wearing what she was wearing. I sorta did the same thing when jori and i met cept i missed her inner thigh with my hand and slapped her hand and she thought it was high five

quote:

Originally posted by Spacey Orange sorry about what happened. you may have some legal remedies depending upon in which state you are. don't think that because he didn't take it as far as he wanted to go, that you won't have some health issues down the line. may i suggest that you write everything down in case you need to document something such as retaliation in the future. again sorry. this kind of shit seems to happen to some of the nicest people.

I may have a legal edge because my boss told a coworker who is not management, was not there last night when the cops showed up, what happened. I don't know, though.

As for health issues, I doubt it. At worst I feel a little physically gross and... I dunno, ashamed? I feel like I am an idiot and shouldn't have gone upstairs and I feel frustrated because I feel like others (like my boss) feel the same.

quote:

Originally posted by Vivid Boy was he puerto rican?

No. I am not sure what nationality he is, actually. He is not from the US, though, but I never have asked.

quote:

Originally posted by Vivid Boy she shouldnt have been wearing what she was wearing. I sorta did the same thing when jori and i met cept i missed her inner thigh with my hand and slapped her hand and she thought it was high five

Psh, you were peeping at me from 20ft away from all times.

Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright © 2000-2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.