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dying at a young age

I have had a lot of friends die young. I would say anywhere between 4-5 good friends pass away through one way or another. I used to always think it was sad. I would hear the adults talk about how sad it was because they were so young and missed so much of their life. im at the age of 32. I have to say I don't think dying at a young age is that bad. Actually being my age and thinking back through my whole life and all of my small amazing memories, I'd be quite content if i found out i only had a few days to live. I'd think to myself, "I am young (sorta) but I already lived the best years of my life. I kicked some ass as a child." I mean honestly 28-32 has been quite boring. Sure I have done a lot of travelling, which I wasn't able to afford as a kid, and yes I can afford to buy cool grown up stuff.. but stuff is just stuff. And as my friends get older and settle down, i slowly watch the innocence and fun drain from their faces, rushing home after hockey because their wives will be upset if theyre not home when they said they would be.

I don't mean to the be that trapped in the "past" sort of guy but I am just saying I don't think dying young is all that bad now. Go out while you're on top.

anyone agree?

28 here. If I found out I only had a few more days to live I'd be kind of annoyed. There's more shit I want to do.

34 here. I agree with what FuzzQi said, I'd be a bit pissed about it. Way too much stuff I still want to do, especially with travel.

Sure, I had some pretty interesting years when I was younger, with lots of travel and random experiences, but I don't think life has to be boring when you get older, it's just different, you know?

I had a pretty bad ass childhood lol.
my teenage years were scandalous.
my 20's were legendary.
I think i lived them so fully i wouldnt be too phased if I died tomorrow. I mean I'd be sad about itbut deep down I think I would be content with what I did in my 30 yrs

I have faith I'm here for a reason. A reason I'll grow to realize when it's time.

Luckily, knock on wood, I've been ok in the death department. But what's really knocking on wood when it's a part of life.

And I agree Sushi, older but different. The good. The bad. The in between.

name some stuff you guys still want to accomplish.

I have my own goals of course. I'm not saying I am giving up on the will to live. but Im curious as to what you guys still want to accomplish

Straight off the top of my head, I want to travel a bunch more, and I'd like to own a little place out in the country somewhere, so I have a place to go and chill that's my own space.

I've never really had any friends die at a young age, then again maybe it's something that happens more in 20s-30s. However I'm not sure it'd be all that bad either. I think the main concern is not achieving what you sought out to achieve, but really, if you're dead will your status really affect you at all? Will not achieving some sortof quality of life goal (like owning a house) actually affect you if you're dead? I don't think so. The main thing I'd feel is a bit cheated if I made decisions earlier in my life that were long term benefit short term cost focused. I think most of all people dying at a young age affects their friends a lot more than it does them.

In a sense I agree with you: Life in your twenties seems much more exciting because it tends to be a lot more open-ended - we have the impression as a group that there are many more doors open in front of us, and there's the extra energy to boot.

As you grow older, you often feel the need to follow a specific career (whatever it might be) and settle down, as arsing around may have negative social consequences, and the odds of meeting someone you want to be with for an indeterminate amount of time increases.

However, is any of this objectively true? Of course not, you can be the party Eric you've always wanted to be. However, more and more this is going to be your choice, and as other people make theirs, you'll have to go down that road pretty much by yourself (or with new people). So you don't really have to wither away, if that's how you see it.

I think there is an expectation to 'get old' before people indeed get there. We blunder through our 20s, thinking 'this is it, I'd better live it now', completely oblivious that our curiosity is absolutely ceaseless. You should never stop wondering about things; I spent so much time jaded with shit, I missed out on plenty, and if I died tomorrow, I would do so with the hope that it would just be another amazing day with the people I love. I guess it's ignorance to a profound degree.

Maybe that is the benefit of dying young; you never wither to the point where you realize yourself as some decrepit old fogey with nothing left to look forward to (even though that is so very rarely even true).

quote:

Originally posted by Psyshell Will not achieving some sortof quality of life goal (like owning a house) actually affect you if you're dead?

I own a house, and when I think about having to paint the exterior, re-do the flooring, and whatever potential plumbing problems will inevitably arise, it seems like dead people are getting the better deal.

I agree with the basic gist of what you said. Life has away of wearing you down. Working at job you might not care for so much to pay the bills. All the stress and problems life throws at you. I think we all struggle to find a purpose in life and to be happy. To be sure the stuff you wish you could have when young and can now afford, doesn't make you happy.

quote:

Originally posted by Lira As you grow older, you often feel the need to follow a specific career (whatever it might be) and settle down, as arsing around may have negative social consequences, and the odds of meeting someone you want to be with for an indeterminate amount of time increases.

I was actually thinking about just this, reading anotherway's post in OrangestO's 'major move' thread. I was hesitant to respond because it's such a fucking bummer wrench in the gears, but the fact of the matter is that the world is stacked against giving the tiniest fuck about you. The rage to exist is maybe the only thing that matters to *anyone*, and even then it is the struggle of conviction, if you are so privileged as to be afforded expression.

It's bleak, and you can glad-hands around the issue all you like, but on some level it is absolutely true. And it completely ties into owning property, career prospects, social clout, etc. Picking up and starting all over again is an alluring prospect; there exists an escapism that will easily yearn to be quelled all our lives, and this is not an empty thing in the least, if tempered by the things that anchor us, that hold us accountable. Sometimes all that we want is to get away from it all, but maturing with this streak is just a matter of managing yourself such that you can be depended upon and resolved to shed absolutely everything that is inessential.

Bleh, that is abstract.

I guess what I am saying is that you need to fucking get it -and get it early- because anyone who understands compound interest knows that most people are fucked and will die broke. It's not fair at all, but I would fight tooth and nail to not start all over again when I am halfway to retirement.

quote:

Originally posted by Lira In a sense I agree with you: Life in your twenties seems much more exciting because it tends to be a lot more open-ended - we have the impression as a group that there are many more doors open in front of us, and there's the extra energy to boot. As you grow older, you often feel the need to follow a specific career (whatever it might be) and settle down, as arsing around may have negative social consequences, and the odds of meeting someone you want to be with for an indeterminate amount of time increases. However, is any of this objectively true? Of course not, you can be the party Eric you've always wanted to be. However, more and more this is going to be your choice, and as other people make theirs, you'll have to go down that road pretty much by yourself (or with new people). So you don't really have to wither away, if that's how you see it.

sounds like you're trapped and getting slowly getting squeezed to death by a boa constrictor

And I don't like snakes one bit!

I sacrificed a lot of my youth to get to where I am right now financially and I'm only just starting to lower the priority of my career, so I'd be fucking spewing if someone told me I was going to die soon lol.

dying is overrated. that is all.

At 45, I'm a geezer compared to most of you, and while I feel that there is still a long and quite interesting road ahead of me, I also feel that I've made sufficient peace with myself that I wouldn't be gutted if my time for transition was sooner than later. I can only attribute this to a firm grasp of the inevitability of aging and dying (it certainly becomes a more solid reality, the older you get) and an ongoing practice of present-mindedness - there aren't any loose ends in this moment.


Let's see what this fellow has to say on the subject:

Eh, I'd be OK with it. I feel like I've always been ready for death. I guess that sounds morbid, but it isn't anything to do with lack of enjoyment of life. I just accept that it's part of the journey I guess. Prob has to do with experiencing death and loss at a young age.

Now would I fight if I had cancer or some shit? Of course. But I'd be ready to throw in the towel if it was obvious my time was up.

Re: dying at a young age

quote:

Originally posted by Vivid Boy And as my friends get older and settle down, i slowly watch the innocence and fun drain from their faces, rushing home after hockey because their wives will be upset if they're not home when they said they would be

i have those friends as well. and their faces really do look drained.
the ones that do rush home to their wives so they won't be upset, i silently laugh at them.

I mean is it the pussy ???? or is it fear??? of what ?????

that's the kind of thing making marriage and parenthood look very unattractive.

But there are exception.. very rare..i'm hoping to find that exception and not settle for less. i think that's the thing that will keep you looking towards the next day.

Re: Re: dying at a young age

quote:

Originally posted by Serial Killer But there are exception.. very rare..i'm hoping to find that exception and not settle for less. i think that's the thing that will keep you looking towards the next day.

Then you'll probably find yourself looking for a rather long time.

At least, each day you'll have another day of looking to look forward to.

Re: Re: Re: dying at a young age

quote:

Originally posted by PivotTechno Then you'll probably find yourself looking for a rather long time.

how so..? you don't think that's realistic?

quote:

Originally posted by PivotTechno At least, each day you'll have another day of looking to look forward to.

lol.. there you go... being optimistic..

The last time I saw my best friend truly happy was a guys weekend fishing and he was plastered.

I havent seen him give a true genuine smile like that in years. We were all commenting on it and laughing at it.

I've died many a times

Re: Re: Re: Re: dying at a young age

quote:

Originally posted by Serial Killer how so..? you don't think that's realistic?

There's nothing wrong with setting standards for yourself and what you aspire to in a relationship, but being realistic means understanding that endeavouring to find happiness through another person is largely an exercise in futility. If you're unable to look forward to each day by your lonesome, then you're going to experience the same difficulty with a partner.

These people Vivid speaks of, who seemingly have the life drained out of their faces because of their relationship with their partners, most likely weren't particularly happy to begin with, despite outward appearances. They tend to be the ones who are shocked to find out that a happy, peaceful and contented long-term relationship is actually hard fucking work - if they ever even come to that realisation. There's a big difference between innocence and happiness; the former is based on na�vet� (ignorance, even), while the latter is something that's cultivated. Great, if you can blissfully reside in the former state your entire life, but that's rarely the reality most of us are faced with, especially as we grow older.

Everyone brings their baggage into a relationship, no matter how minimal it may be, and whether conscious or not, we tend to chose partners who reflect the contents of our emotional rucksack.

So, best of luck in finding your exception - if and when you believe you've done so, you'll probably be quite surprised at some point to find them quite human and fallible, just like the rest of us.

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