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Posted by laiss on Apr-21-2001 17:05:

Hi!

In new here but I live in france.

My 2nd X really really scrubed my brain's cells, and I UNDERSTOOD.
Unfortunately, as I was looking deep inside myself, I realized how lonely I had been, since I broke up with my childhood group of friends, for some troubles, when I was about15/16.
I'm 20 right now and I can see how stupid and superficial also, I've been those few last years.
The reason why I'm writng this letter today is that I want to make up for lost time: I NEED TO BE PUBLIC, as I used to be before I broke up, but not the same way...
The trigger that brought me there is when my friend asked me why I wasn't jumping around, and talk to everybody...
well, that shit was strong for a 2nd time(fish), and no doubt, I missed something in my life.
Finally, I felt so ashamed and terrified that I sat all night for the first time of my life in rave or club.
Ok. this was a message for serious people who feel involved in my problem. Because they know it , because they have known it, or because somebody they like suffer from it in silent.
You can make fun of it if you want(I suppose people already did it), but I'll apreciate helpfull answers.
Also, if you're a kasanova, give advice how to get hard girls, I don't want easy ones anymore(I didn't mean ugly!!)I don't want to deceive em because of what I am.

Ok.I'm done and I hope that your answers will encourage me to answer back soon. nice day. Do not buy Oakenfold's last album.

Posted by Blik on Apr-21-2001 17:19:

?????What?????are?????you?????talking?????about?????

Posted by DRM on Apr-21-2001 17:28:

Right i think i understand what u are sayin and i think to an extent evry1's been in that position at some time in their life. I used to b very quiet and withdrawn but i have now got some quality mates who made me more loud and ive been the same since. ASs for the ladies best advice is to be as nice to them as possible. There are a lot of men who are knob heads and treat women like shit, if ur nice to them u seem like their knight in shining armor.

Hope that helps!

Posted by kansascity89 on Apr-21-2001 18:00:

????

What are you looking for? i don't get it?
girls?
friends?
drugs?

Posted by Synder on Apr-21-2001 18:04:

The only advice i can give (having felt in a sort of similar situation recently) is to talk to your friends. YOu may be extremely surprised how people who you thought were just friendly associates, turn out to actually be the most caring, supportive people in the world, who have gone through all the same things as yourself (as i found out ). Anyway, good luck and take care

Mike

Posted by Viceroy on Apr-21-2001 18:07:

??? My advise: stop smoking crack!

Steve

Posted by Linx_da_cat on Apr-21-2001 20:48:

well laiss, i've been through a lot of rough times meself. i'm sure we all have. i had a point in time where i secluded away from EVERYONE...hated the world...didn't know where to turn to...it got better slowly...but still...that rage still burned inside of me...till one day. i met this wonderful human being, this one person i could totalllly relate to when i was younger. she basically pulled out what was there inside of me all along, and i was myself again...i didn't bother hiding things anymore. i was much happier afterwards.

what i'm trying to say is...traumatic experiences can be quite hard to go through by yourself. you'll meet people, and if you believe in fate, you'll meet someone that will changeyour life for good. luckily for me, i've found that person and i'm still awesome friends with her. things always get better and then you'll be able to chauk these experiences as learning experiences, which will make you a stronger person indeed.

as for girls and stuff, there's no need to look for them...the right ones will come to you when you least expect it. just be yourself, don't hide anything, and treat the ones that you 'feel' with respect. the formula is quite simple. when a right person enters your life....you'll feel it...

peace

Posted by breakdown on Apr-21-2001 20:54:

i've realised that lately, i've been getting confused really easily with threasds....... is it just me.. or are ppl getting random and stuff?

Posted by Linx_da_cat on Apr-21-2001 20:57:

heheh...yeah i hear ya infin....i haven't been on TA much actually these days...i've been so busy. but when i get back on...like just now...i don't know what's going on. hehe.

Posted by agi on Apr-21-2001 21:49:

Damn this some deep shit. I've read your post a few times dude and i still don't get what u're saying, is it that u've no friends or you don't like the ones you have, or what... i'm not takin the piss out of you i just don't get what u're saying.

Anyways peace

Posted by fastmp3 on Apr-21-2001 22:31:

laiss c'est quoi ton probl�me ? peut-etre si tu t'exprimais en francais ca serait plus facile pour toi , en tous cas si t'as besoin d'aide on est la !!

Posted by DRM on Apr-21-2001 22:47:

defonse! plus de gens qui parle francais!

Posted by DJ Sarah H on Apr-21-2001 23:42:

Beware ! lots of people here speak French !
and no Fast DJ if he wants more help then useing English is best as more ppl here speak english

Posted by laiss on Apr-22-2001 00:48:

Yeah! feeling more positive after this. But still thinking that X has pros & cons...

DJRave, I saw your pic, shining knight...
Well, Being nice with 1 person is easy enough. But I still dread appearing clumsy in public(this began after I lost my friends, for those who didn't understand), but I feel that it happened to many people.
However, the 1st impression people have on u is important right? Actually how don't know how to make the first step withoutr looking like a nil.
Anyway, I'm glad to see how different your visions of life are, from where I could at last find inspiration. good job.

Posted by Sugarbean on Apr-22-2001 10:46:

ok. so heres my advise to you...

don't do e till you got your mind right k?

seriously though. dunno bout everyone elses thoughts on e but theres a level of understanding that i believe must go along with the use of the drug so you dont end up in such a hard place or sucha low. if im understanding correctly, (im feelin a bit like blik here like..er..eh..?) but e releases all your seritonin in your brain all at once...naturally without the drug its only released in small doses whenever you feel a sence of happiness or whatever...it takes your body a bit to replenish this source. so you being without this you will be more suseptible to feeling down, thinking about shit that you wouldn't normally think about, or if you do have those thoughts occasionally, they wouldnt be as intense as they would be after a roll.

mind over matter...

Posted by Ckerr812 on Apr-22-2001 14:40:

I agree with what sugar said, and I have said that exact explanation to friends.....and it's true, it's more intense when you are on E or any drug...(cept pot) good or bad...... Also, don't look back.....it's good to think about things, but when these things tend to be all you think about adn are very negative then that is not helping you at all....and if it dosen't make you a better person or is bad for you then why do it?