Found some jokes... - TranceAddict Forums

TranceAddict Forums (www.tranceaddict.com/forums)
- Humour / Funny Stuff / Cool Web Sites
-- Found some jokes...

Posted by jp on Oct-27-2002 20:24:

Found some jokes...

A man with a winking problem is applying for
a position as a sales representative for a
large firm. The interviewer looks over his
papers and says,

"This is phenomenal. You've graduated from
the best schools; your recommendations are
wonderful, and your experience is
unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without
a second thought. However, a sales
representative has a highly visible position,
and we're afraid that your constant winking
will scare off potential customers. I'm
sorry....we can't hire you."

"But wait," the man says. "If I take two
aspirin, I'll stop winking!"

"Really? Great! Show me!"

So the applicant reaches into his jacket
pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of
condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed
condoms, flavoured condoms; finally, at the
bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin.
He tears it open, swallows the pills, and
stops winking.

"Well," said the interviewer, "that's all well
and good, but this is a respectable company,
and we will not have our employees womanising
all over ,the country!"

"Womanising? What do you mean? I'm a happily
married man!"

"Well then, how do you explain all these
condoms?"

"Oh, that," he sighed. "Have you ever walked
into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"

---------------------

The greatest truck driver in the world was driving along a country lane late one night when his truck broke down. All he could see was a faint light in the distance. So he headed towards it. He came to an old farmhouse and knocked on the door. 'Hello', he says, 'I'm the greatest truck driver in the world and my truck is after breaking down, I wonder could I have a bed for the night?' 'Well', says the farmer, there's only two rooms, meself and the wife in one, and my young (nubile) daughter in the other'. 'Look, I'm the greatest truck driver in the world and all I want is a bed for the night, your daughter will be as safe as a house', says the greatest truck driver in the world. 'All right' says the farmer, and they all went to bed. At four in the morning, the farmer heard the headboard next door banging against the wall. He got up and looked in, there was the greatest truck driver in the world driving it into his daughter, with his bare arse going up and down. He went down stairs and loaded the shotgun. He snuck into the room and shoved the shotgun up the greatest truck driver in the world's asshole. 'All right', he says, 'if you're the greatest truck driver in the world, reverse out of there with a full load.......'

---------------------

There were three men who wanted to replace their dicks. The first man walked into the doctor's office and said he hated his dick, and he wanted to replace it with a new one. The doctor said they had three different types......a rubber dick, a wooden dick, and a 30 foot long one. The man said he wanted the rubber one and left with a smile on his face. The next day the second man walked into the same office and said he wanted to replace his dick too. The doctor said they only had two more......a wooden one and a 30 foot long one. The guy said he wanted the wooden one and left feeling satisfied. The next day the third man walked in and said he wanted to replace his dick. The doctor said all they had was a 30 foot long dick left. The man agreed to switch and left with pointed pants and women staring. The next day the first man walked in to complain about his new rubber dick. He said he hated it because he can't get a boner. So, the doctor replaced it with his old dick. The second man walked in the next day, also complaining about his new dick. "I didn't know wood could rot!" So, once again, the doctor gave him back his original dick. The next day the third man walks in and sees the doctor scowling. "Let me guess...you want to replace your new dick, too!" "NO, I want to thank you for replacing my dick, see that woman thirty feet away over there??? BOOM, GOT HER!!!

---------------------

Sherry goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor, I've got a bit of a problem. I'll have to take my clothes off to show you." The doctor tells her to go behind the screen and disrobe. She does so, and the doctor goes round to see her when she is ready. "Well, what is it?" he asks. "It's a bit embarrassing," she replies, "These two green circles have appeared on the inside of my thighs." The doctor examines her and finally admits he has no idea what the cause is. Then he suddenly asks, "Have you been having sex with a gypsy lately?" The woman blushes and says, "Well, actually I have." "That's the problem," the doctor says, "Tell him his earrings aren't real gold!"

---------------------

Musharraf calls Bush on 11th Sept :

"Mr.President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings. I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that....

Bush : "What people? What buildings?"

Musharraf : "Oh, what time is it in America now?"

Bush : "It's eight in the morning"

Musharraf : "Oooppss..will call back in an hour"