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-- The "What Have You Said To Impress a Chick" Thread
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The "What Have You Said To Impress a Chick" Thread
I'm working and bored. I'd like to know some of the devious (or less impressive but still funny) shit you, or someone you've known has tried to get a hoe (that's politically correct btw) to suck some D.
Sadly I haven't tried anything fancy, maybe made my job title sound a bit fancier, but never outright tried any scams.
A friend of mine did tell a chick he met at a cigar lounge that he'd make her a partner in a new hotel he was building in the Old Port of Montreal (very little real estate there to develop, I might add) and it worked.
Edit: If any chicks have stories of really outrageous things guys have told them, I'd like to hear that shit too, it's funny. Wait, no chicks on TA wtf.
This thread made me think of the time some asshole tried to use PUA tactics on me, really poorly. It was fucking sad and embarrassing - and not even that he was using the scheme at all, mostly just his poor attempt at neurolinguistic programming.
So yeah I spent all day yesterday researching NLP and covert hypnosis online.
Thanks for that.
When i was in Tampa one year, I told 2 drunk broads that i was hoping to make it as a backup for the Lightning (hockey team).
I backed it up alright.
Ybor City is the capital for retarded women in North America.
100% of the time i don't remember the words i say
I go up to the most beautiful woman at the bar and ask for her Thoughts on the Media
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| Originally posted by Dykes_on_Jay Tampa is the capital for retarded humans in North America. |
The shit some chicks fall for 
I wonder if that negative compliment shit ever really works.
"Hey, you have national geographic nipples, but they work on you".
I have a friend who once completely convinced a girl that he was a dolphin trainer. She thought it was totally amazing, and they ended up shagging that night.
Plot twist: They're married now
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| Originally posted by Sushipunk I have a friend who once completely convinced a girl that he was a dolphin trainer. She thought it was totally amazing, and they ended up shagging that night. Plot twist: They're married now |
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| Originally posted by Alex I guess "Crocodile fighter" is played out in Australia? |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Sushipunk I have a friend who once completely convinced a girl that he was a dolphin trainer. She thought it was totally amazing, and they ended up shagging that night. Plot twist: They're married now |
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| Originally posted by Jon_Snow Has he told her yet that he's not? |
I had two mates who would both pick the most outlandish fake jobs to go out on the pull.
One time they were Fighter Pilots in the UK's version of top gun (it worked). Another time they were extreme condition firemen (like the guys that get dropped out of a heli to put out brush fires etc) - again they scored. Nearly all the time it worked because they could back each other up when the bullshit started to get called, so if anything sounded too far fetch and the girl questioned it, the other guy would be like "no totally, when we did that mission over Iraq and your tail got hit we both ejected made out may back to base on foot. Totally happened like that".
the best though, was one night one of the was going solo, chatting up this eastern euro check, and he told her he was a celebrity hairdresser. He's chatting her up, making comments about her hair, adding some innuendo about what he's going to do to her (...hair) etc. and she invited him back to her nearby flat for some action.
Bingo he's thinking.
She puts a backless chair in the middle of the room told him to wait in the living room while she get changed (he's now thinking she's kinky) and she comes out wearing that cape thing a bottle in her hand.
He's going what the fuck is about to happen, and she sits in the chair and goes "come on then, are you going to color my hair or what?"
Oh fuck. He doubles down. He mixes the dye solution and starts putting in her hair with a comb.
She says "er, I've never seen it applied with a comb" and he totally bullshits her like this is his secret technique, but inside he's going oh fuck, I'm about to destroy this woman's hair.
He leaves it in for like 45 minutes and they chat away while he's getting more and more nervous but still holding the poker face.
They wash it out.
The color comes out absolutely fucking perfect and she jumped his bones that very second.
They ended up dating for about a year and when they split, she didn't learn that he's actually a painter and decorator.
I once told a girl I played in the MLS. it worked
and another time I told a bunch of girls that i worked as the hamburglar in a bunch of mcdonalds commercials back in the 90s but i got fired in the end for stealing hamburgers. did not work.
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| Originally posted by Sushipunk Indeed. |
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| Originally posted by Alex I wish we had cooler animals here. B.C. province has a lot of bears and mountain lions, which people frequently set their dogs on (and cats), but no crazy snakes or other reptiles. Quebec has some lynx. Those are pretty cool, they are the elves of cats (because of the ears). Beavers just suck and have to be routinely murdered because of their bullshit engineering. |
I saw something on TV a long time ago about some dude in Australia that milks snake venom and venom from other "creatures" and sells it to hospitals/researchers.
Is that actually a thing?
| quote: |
| Originally posted by DJ RANN the best though, was one night one of the was going solo, chatting up this eastern euro check, and he told her he was a celebrity hairdresser. He's chatting her up, making comments about her hair, adding some innuendo about what he's going to do to her (...hair) etc. and she invited him back to her nearby flat for some action. Bingo he's thinking. She puts a backless chair in the middle of the room told him to wait in the living room while she get changed (he's now thinking she's kinky) and she comes out wearing that cape thing a bottle in her hand. He's going what the fuck is about to happen, and she sits in the chair and goes "come on then, are you going to color my hair or what?" Oh fuck. He doubles down. He mixes the dye solution and starts putting in her hair with a comb. She says "er, I've never seen it applied with a comb" and he totally bullshits her like this is his secret technique, but inside he's going oh fuck, I'm about to destroy this woman's hair. He leaves it in for like 45 minutes and they chat away while he's getting more and more nervous but still holding the poker face. They wash it out. The color comes out absolutely fucking perfect and she jumped his bones that very second. They ended up dating for about a year and when they split, she didn't learn that he's actually a painter and decorator. |
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| Originally posted by Alex I saw something on TV a long time ago about some dude in Australia that milks snake venom and venom from other "creatures" and sells it to hospitals/researchers. Is that actually a thing? |
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| Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN how do you think anti-venom is made? |
a buddy of mine used to tell girls he was a zoo keeper..... i dont want to over estimate his success rate with that one but i would bet it was in the 70-80% range. Once he made that proclamation he would end up with a gaggle of 2-3 girls being spoon fed whatever bullshit would come out of his mouth.... he worked as a waiter and knew nothing about animals beyond what he would see on the discovery channel....
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| Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN how do you think anti-venom is made? |
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| Originally posted by Vivid Boy I once told a girl I played in the MLS. it worked |
We can rule out the Jays that would only get you a peck on the cheek.
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