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best men speech

so my buddy popped the big question and successfully slapped a ring on it.

i've been tapped as the best man, but im nervous on giving a speech. any pointers and tips? they're both doctors doing their residency rotations now. hes the first one in our group to get engaged.

ive got two other friends weddings coming up. fuck im getting older and im still living in the rents basement with the GF givin HAND.

Nobody likes speeches, period. Also, good servers won't serve food while someone is giving a speech (this is why most weddings drag the fuck on through dinner!!), so the shorter the better.

We did not ask anyone to give speeches unless they didn't want to for those reasons. That said, only 3 people from our entire wedding party of 9 gave speeches, and they were fucking hilarious. More like a roast, really.

Do NOT share too many specific personal details about your friendship/how you know each other, blahblah. Nobody cares!

Short and sweet, offer sincere best wishes and move the fuck on.

To reiterate: NOBODY CARES. Anything you do to prolong people being able to eat, drink, and party, people will dislike you for. The most memorable speech is none at all.

quote:

Originally posted by Silky Johnson Nobody likes speeches, period. Also, good servers won't serve food while someone is giving a speech (this is why most weddings drag the fuck on through dinner!!), so the shorter the better. We did not ask anyone to give speeches unless they didn't want to for those reasons. That said, only 3 people from our entire wedding party of 9 gave speeches, and they were fucking hilarious. More like a roast, really. Do NOT share too many specific personal details about your friendship/how you know each other, blahblah. Nobody cares! Short and sweet, offer sincere best wishes and move the fuck on. To reiterate: NOBODY CARES. Anything you do to prolong people being able to eat, drink, and party, people will dislike you for. The most memorable speech is none at all.

Amen!

Pretty much what Jenny said, especially since you're a friend and not a sibling. I had to do my older brother's speech at his wedding and I gave an excellent, well-written, funny backstory of our upbringing and had numerous complements about it afterwards. Fast forward 6 years and my brother is going through a weird divorce (more on that later) at my wedding and gives a rambling, off the cuff, incoherent speech about finding ourselves in the journey of life

Our friends and family STILL thank us for the lack of speeches at our wedding and say how it was a major factor in how awesome our day was whenever it comes up in conversation about marriage/our wedding/other people's weddings.

Don't write a speech just get really drunk and say whatever comes to mind. Everyone will appreciate your spontaneity. It also be a good time air your grievances with marriage as an outdated institution.

quote:

Originally posted by Silky Johnson Our friends and family STILL thank us for the lack of speeches at our wedding and say how it was a major factor in how awesome our day was whenever it comes up in conversation about marriage/our wedding/other people's weddings.

I mean, in fairness, our ceremony lasted maybe 10 minutes and his speech was like less than a minute of rambling nonsense. We didn't waste time with prayers and other bullshit since we are non-religious (which pissed my mother-in-law off, she wants nothing more than a wedding where the religious portions are 5 hours long).

Our ceremony was basically "do you? okay cool, do you? good, you're married, there are food and drinks inside".

Edit: and our vows were standard, textbook vows. We went to a friend's wedding last year and she told some story (whilst sobbing uncontrollably) about how they met and how he's "her person" (puke) and all this other sappy bullshit while we just wanted to go inside and eat. Also a cash bar, which was fucking lame.

Same. I've been in and been to enough weddings to know the worst parts of them, and did not want to do that to our own guests.

TBH, you need to punish everyone with a long and dumb speech for making you 'best men'.i recommend learning elvish (from writings of Tolkien) and speaking for a good 30 minutes with said language. Don't forget to sacrifice something while everyone is watching. i also recommend swirling red food colouring in your mouth and letting it drip out while you speak

He makes a valid point as well.

I would generally recommend following planetaryplayer's advice on all issues. Including this one.

PP

@ 45s and 1:30

2 shots of jack before you go on

quote:

Originally posted by Jon_Snow Don't write a speech just get really drunk and say whatever comes to mind. Everyone will appreciate your spontaneity. It also be a good time air your grievances with marriage as an outdated institution.

I got so loaded at my friends wedding that I couldn't read my notes for my best man speech so I had to wing it. Thankfully, I remembered most of what I wanted to say. Afterwards quite a few people sought me out to tell me what a great job I did. I was feeling pretty good about it all until I finally caught up with my wife after dinner. Upon greeting Mrs. Hazard the first thing she said to me was "you must be really drunk because that speech... yeah.." (shaking head). Turns out it wasn't quite up to my normal standards; thankfully, a bad speech by me is still pretty good by wedding standards.

I've given a few best man speeches and can attest there is nothing to worry about in them. Everyone to whom you will be speaking is in a good mood, partially inebriated, and most are largely distracted... there really isn't a lot of pressure (you want pressure, try giving a eulogy).

The best advice I can offer is to keep it brief and make it meaningful. Start with some sort of self deprecating joke that most people can relate to. Share an amusing anecdote about the groom. Move into some musings about love or marriage (always good to reference someone greater than yourself's observations (I usually go with Nietzsche, but Saint Paul or Sophocles are good choices depending on the crowd). Give an affirmation that you believe the couple will be successful and happy. Express your love for the couple and wish them the best. Done. The whole thing should be done in 5 minutes, if you go longer than 8 you will have lost your audience so you'd might as well just stop talking.

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Originally posted by Moral Hazard she said to me was "you must be really drunk because that speech... yeah.." (shaking head). Turns out it wasn't quite up to my normal standards; thankfully, a bad speech by me is still pretty good by wedding standards.

To be honest I rather listen to something from the heart than someone reading verbatim from a prepared speech. Brings back memories of terrible school oral reports.

quote:

Originally posted by Jon_Snow Don't write a speech just get really drunk and say whatever comes to mind. Everyone will appreciate your spontaneity. It also be a good time air your grievances with marriage as an outdated institution.

That's why u should only marry for money these days and always marry up. You'll be happier in the end

quote:

Originally posted by Jon_Snow To be honest I rather listen to something from the heart than someone reading verbatim from a prepared speech. Brings back memories of terrible school oral reports.

I never actually read my speeches or presentations; however, I usually glance at my notes to keep me on point. Unfortunately, this time the notes looked like a random collection of fuzzy grey lines that kept wondering around the page.

The best speeches (in general, not specifically wedding ones) are the ones following an outline, nothing more.

Did it 3 times. Destroyed it each one as best man. Ppl still to this day bring up mine at a friends weddinf 2 years ago. I always wanted to try stand up, best man speeches gave me that chance without having to make a bunch of hipsters laugh in a basement in some hipster den for open mic night.

Here's a tip don't read your speech. Write it, know your jokes and where you want to say them then just let it rip

good real talks. hes my boy since we were in the sandbox so its a big moment.

i'll keep it light, wing it and hope for the best. maybe write a couple things beforehand. we'll see how it goes


... rip

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