TranceAddict Forums (www.tranceaddict.com/forums)
- Chill Out Room
-- I just don't know what to do anymore...
Pages (2): [1] 2 »
I just don't know what to do anymore...
Seriously I don't.
I am 16, living at home. I work part-time at local grocery store (Loblaws if you must know), I have school, I do co-op (course where you get to spend half the day out in the workplace... I'm at ISP), I do community service for school (need 40 hours to graduate) and because I'm such a nice guy, plus I have 6 younger brothers and sisters. So, I'm busy as hell right now. We used to live in Toronto, but we're now living in small rural town 2 hours north.
Ever since we moved from Toronto, we've had money trouble. Mostly because we were somewhat forced to move as the company my dad was Chief Technical Officer for was going under.
The whole money problem thing has gone up and down the last 3 years. Some months we had plenty of $$, other times, we'd be down to our last $50. My dad has been doing contract programming for start-up companies in California, and he does this from home. A lot of these companies go under and don't pay up, which in turn fucks us up the ass. I don't know how the fuck my dad is able to believe that he can do this kind of stuff from home and support a family of NINE. I keep telling him about jobs in town with STEADY paychecks, but he never does anything about them.
Over the last few months, the money thing has gotten really bad. A few months back I lent my parents $300 for groceries. They said I would get the $$ back a few days later, and that the money stuff would get straightened out. Well, 3 months later, I haven't seen a dime, and they've borrowed nearly $2000.
And now its Xmas, and they've got no $$. I don't give a fuck about presents. I'd be happy just getting socks. I think my siblings will be somewhat shocked, being that a few of them are spoiled little brats. But, I don't care about that either. Its just my mom is being really paranoid about money, and my dad is falling apart. I have to give credit to my mom, because she looks after kids all day, and went out and got a job to try and help more financially. My dad on the other hand has fallen into deep depression, he hides away in his office pretending to be working, he sleeps a lot, and he seems to be on the edge all the time.
For 5 solid months all I've heard is how things are "looking up", but things keep getting worse, and a fight between my parents a few minutes ago was a harsh reminder of that for me. I just don't know what to do. With the amount of $$ I've been dishing out, I think I would be helping enough, but things aren't getting any better. My dad is 50, and we don't have a penny in savings or retirement or anything. How the fuck is he supposed to retire one day? They also have another 16 years of child raising to do! I want to move out after high school, but even if I have the $$ to do that, will they have the money to support themselves?
I just don't fucking know. I feel so frustrated, being that I don't know what will make them get their shit together. Do I just tell them I'm not giving them anymore cash? Do I just be openly honest with my dad, and tell him to get his shit together (Even though I am scared as to how he would respond to that).
I seriously need some help, because I am feeling lost and confused. Trance is my only escape.
Hmm I'm in the same position man. I can't offer any help because I'm dealing with literally everything you mentioned. :/
| quote: |
| Originally posted by a-aplz Hmm I'm in the same position man. I can't offer any help because I'm dealing with literally everything you mentioned. :/ |
Try to keep your family happy and posistive as tough as it may be in this situation. I'm not to sure what you should do about their financial sitiuation but the part about talking to your dad, speak openly to him. Tell him that you don't like seeing him the way he is. It's tough to have the courage but after 5 months of this stuff going on I think you need to give him some encouragement and hopefully he'll respond. I really don't know what to say but good luck and i'm sorry to hear about your troubles.
shit dudes... that sucks.
all i can say is, keep your chin up, things get better someday with hope.
also, not that this really makes your situation any better, but millions if not billions of people around the world have it worse off than you do.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Mosaic why the fuck does it take so much work to be happy? seriously, our whole society needs some changes.the whole work-your-ass-off-so-your-family-can-eat thing sucks |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Mosaic why the fuck does it take so much work to be happy? seriously, our whole society needs some changes.the whole work-your-ass-off-so-your-family-can-eat thing sucks |
This society sucks period in terms of making a living because it's all about the $ Greed.
yeah... people say money isn't everything...
but in this society, IT IS.
time for some changes
Hey man. I used to be in your same position as well. My dad, mom and my sister and I used to live borrowing money from family members and neighboors, and each month our dues would rack up. My dad is a private pilot instructor, which means, like your dad, only gets paid by the client. Its big money, but hard money. Alot of conditions and cicrumstances affect our income, most of it out of our reach like weather, seasons, economy...receiving a private pilot license in Korea isn't something everybody can afford. To be bluntly honest, only the middle-upper class are able to CONSIDER trying it. At one time, we had no income for 3 months...I will never forget trying to pry my baby sister's piggy bank open so I could go to the bank, convert the money into Korean currency, and lend my dad money so he could by his smokes(he was smoking at the time)
Anyways, my point is, that every family....EVERY family goes through SOME kinda of financial troubles at one point in their cycle of being a family. Sadly, this is the reason many families in our society break down and fall apart. Money and divorce- two things essential, yet not essential to each other to break something up that is so essential in our society.
Keep your head up. Most importantly, help your dad out. I know your mom is going through alot, but imagine your mom flipping out too and going into a 'deep depression'. Your dad isn't making it any better by ignoring the problem. If anything, you need to step up and do something.
Best of luck dude. I really, honestly hope everything works out for you. I can't stand seeing families and fellow acquaintances go through shit they don't need to go through-anybody for that matter. Keep us, or at least me updated on what happens. I'm gonna be checking this board more frequently now cuz of this.
I know it's not gonna be, but Happy Holidays.
1. Don't give them any money.
2. Say as little as possible to your father, he'd probably resent it even if you gave him good advice.
3. Get the hell out of there as soon as possible.
4. Dumonde - Never Look Back
Your parents should never have reproduced so far beyond their means, and your father seems either incapable or uninterested in doing what it takes to make enough money to get by. It may seem harsh, but it's never too soon to abandon a sinking ship.
Time for a marxist revolution! :P jk
Um.. What can I say that may be of help?
1. Stay strong and supportive for your parents. Tell your dad that he hasn't lost your respect (every man needs his pride stroke, once in awhile) that you see the courage in him to support his family. (takes balls to raise a functional family in this day and age) That way he still knows there is something to live and hope is still ticking, also that his family is still w/ him thick and thin.
2. In times of troubles, darkness and gloom, there is opportunity! It's not as evil as it sounds. Being optimistic helps. If you haven't given up you are still in the fight 
That means a chance to still come on top. Take advantage of what is being learned. Revise your stratagem if needed. Remember what has been taught and use it as a personal building block. Hey better learn now while you're young than 40 years down the road.
3. Understand there is boom and bust periods. Ultimately this will settle down to equilibrium. Question will you still (want to) be around when the dust settles (armeggedon, human haulocust and the end of age are excluded ) 
Reinforce yourself that you will survive through it.
4. It is an excellent opportunity to harness and develop your talent. Find out what you want to do or like to do. This will develope your skills, personal confidence and will maintain your sanity. (Trance music? + DJing? = $$$$ + ?) Eventually not only you find something that you are passionate about, expert in, but who knows maybe you can make a great living off it.
5. Seek help. Talk about it. There is always people willing to help (and those who don't, but ignore them they just watse your time) We live in a Canada for crying out loud. Perhaps seeking financial support until the water calms down again. You're not abusing the system so there 
You are only 16, sh!t I die again just to live that age once more. Still young still strong. Times of great trials will definitely mature you beyond your peers. You will rise above the occasion 
Few things matters. Continue learning, staying strong and true to yourself and those who matters around you. Yes only 16 don't forget to have fun too.
smoke a jay and chill
it will be alright
trust me there is alot worse man
if you have a passion, something that you can do that you are good at and love, do that, you will feel better. dont worry about money because when you worry you just make the situation worse. try to see your family as rich, pretend you have money, what would you buy, where would you go out for dinner if you where rich, what cars would you buy, pretend you are rich at ever moment. no matter how stupid that may sound to you right now, it will get your head in the sky and your mind off your problems
you combine with what you notice...
it has worked for me!!, good luck
bondor
ps trancendentals advice is hella good
hmmm it's sad walking around knowing that I have it so good when other people only have shit for life...
well I can tell you, we've had problems in my family 2, there have been times when all We've had was like 20$ but I can tell you, if you get your father to move his ass and maybe try to get everyone to help out as much as possible it will work, then it will get better...
I mean for example maybe the other 16year old can hand out papers or do some other work that doesn't affect school, well I thinbk you get the point...what you have to do is make your family realize that it's not as good as it used to be.....you said your siblings where spoiled brats, then maybe you should talk to them and make 'em realize that things won't be the same for a while...
there are lot's of things you can do but the most important thing is that you keep the faith, if you have hope...the rest will come by itself sooner or later
[edit]
and I think you should stop lending out so much money to them, it will only be bad for themselves coz they will stop trying and just think "ohh it's ok we can lend some more from him"...only lend them money when they absolutley need it, don't let them starve but don't let them waste money on useless things either
amazed by how many people here have similar problems.
and then I see this
and I think... is the cost of living too high?
does anyone other than me think that our society would benefit from a complete restructuring and eradication of currency?
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Mosaic and I think... is the cost of living too high? |
This post made me think that ive been taking my situation (my family, money, etc) for granted. Until now i havent really thought about it.
wait a few years it will be better...my dad company went under when i was 11...and for 3 years we were pretty low...money was bad and all the stuff we used to have was gone cuz my dad never saved like an idiot...now the money is better but im worse ive been depressed though most of it and ive almsot died a few times and i gto a real problem with drugs and drinking...but now things are looking better...hang in there and don't give ytou family money...it will only make your dad worse because he will feel so bad tht his own teenage son has to help the family out...my dad almost killed him self when my older brother did that jsut so the life insurance would help the family out for a few years...it will get better trust me...if u ever need anything you can pm or im on aim at tranceaddict991...hang in there
~Jay
Take it easy bro...
my dad is 61 and is still working to support my family....i'm the youngest of 3....and my brother is paying for my university....
atleast for us....my sis and bro are already working and can support themselves.... unlike your situation....
i can't begin to imagine how you feel right now... cuz you still have lots of siblings....
there's nothing wrong if you help out your family... esp. your siblings.... my brother paid for alot of things when we didn't have alot money....
i think you should confront your dad about this.... i think you should go up to him and tell him how you're feeling...and tell him that he should get his act together....
i know how hard-headed dads can be sometimes! Not willing to change their job...but still hoping for something to work out...
life can be really tuff sometimes....
i seriously admire your hard work...
good luck with everything and always think positivly!
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Tranex02 there's nothing wrong if you help out your family... esp. your siblings.... my brother paid for alot of things when we didn't have alot money.... |
your dad needs to get another job, one of those steady payers you were talking about, convince him to get one, cus depression isn't gonna put money in the piggy bank
i'm not sure what your financial probs are, but getting a loan and consolidating the debt with a low interest rate to give some breathing space and pay it off with that jobs paychecks could do the trick
don't let them become dependant on your money, help them out when completely necessary, but it sounds like you've done enough lending
theres nothing really you can do, your dad has to do the business, you've done the best you could, motivating him is all there is to it
good luck, things'll work out
WOW..its VERRY refreshing to read a post like this. The same thing is happening in my family right now. My dad lost his job in Nov. Things are bad, but the main thing is I still have hope. I'm hoping the economy will turn up a lttiel in the next few months and some of the places he's trying to get in will consider hiring. Even though my dad used to make about 80 grand a year, we have nothing in savings. My mom's job is basically paying for groceries and basic costs of living and my college tuition. But maybe I'm going to have to take up a part of next semester's payment. It's all about taking it one step at a time. Im soo grateful for having a job for myself, even though its retail and it sucks balls. For all of you that are in the same position, dont worry, keep your head up. AND NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS.....MUZIK IS THE ANSWER!!!
I heard on the news that on a good day downtown a homeless person can make upwards $300.00 (if their situated in key locations, such as outside bloor subway).
They had a story about someone pretending they were homeless everyday, meanwhile she had a nice little appartment and a car (to get to work no doubt).
And of course this money has no income tax.
Now, lets say on average you collect $150.00 /day. That means you would be making $4,500.00 a month, or $54,000.00 a year. Untaxed.
Now for doing absoltutely nothing all day you would earn more than many people do working hard at a demanding job.
You strategically place all 7 members of your family (was there 7? I forgot,, let's assume there are) around Toronto, in key locations. With this set-up, your family will be making $378,000.00 a year untaxed.
Let's say you use the $78,000 to keep a small apartment or housing and food. That leaves you with $300,000.00 you can invest in a stable bond or something, giving you.. lets say 4% interest. You'll be making $15,120.00 a year just off interest of the initial $300,000.00
On a more serious note, I hope things work out. My dad just lost his job too, but fortunately he got a severance package that will support us for 1 year. He's just got to find a decent job in the meantime..
| quote: |
| Originally posted by DJ Chrono I heard on the news that on a good day downtown a homeless person can make upwards $300.00 (if their situated in key locations, such as outside bloor subway). They had a story about someone pretending they were homeless everyday, meanwhile she had a nice little appartment and a car (to get to work no doubt). And of course this money has no income tax. Now, lets say on average you collect $150.00 /day. That means you would be making $4,500.00 a month, or $54,000.00 a year. Untaxed. Now for doing absoltutely nothing all day you would earn more than many people do working hard at a demanding job. You strategically place all 7 members of your family (was there 7? I forgot,, let's assume there are) around Toronto, in key locations. With this set-up, your family will be making $378,000.00 a year untaxed. Let's say you use the $78,000 to keep a small apartment or housing and food. That leaves you with $300,000.00 you can invest in a stable bond or something, giving you.. lets say 4% interest. You'll be making $15,120.00 a year just off interest of the initial $300,000.00 On a more serious note, I hope things work out. My dad just lost his job too, but fortunately he got a severance package that will support us for 1 year. He's just got to find a decent job in the meantime.. |
Notice the line "On a more serious note,"
I wasn't serious that he should go and pretend to be homeless. 
But I'm not lying about what I heard on the news.
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright © 2000-2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.