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Posted by bassaholix on Jan-16-2003 22:20:

Its Always About A Girl...

Hey TA crew.. i need your knowledge, wisdom and ever lasting smartyness.. hehehe

Anyways... here it goes..

Theres this really nice girl i work with @ my store, anyways, when i first started she was always really quiet and all, and very distant towards everyone, not even eye contact, this is what i noticed anyways, she seems like a nice person, yet she is mysteriously quiet, not in a shy sort of way, but more distant... wait did i repeat myself?? Hmmm... Anyways...

So everytime i saw her the first few days and all, she seemed to be all like, great, he's gonna want to talk to me kinda attitude, and i can usually tell this from people, so after a while i just felt inemotional??? is that a real word? anyways i don't know how to best describe it... towards her and all, this was because one time i gave her a slight nod and smile, but i got no response from her, and ever since.

About 2 weeks ago, when i came in to work, i felt a sudden sense of emotion when i walked towards her, i felt like she was actually glad that i came or something and was expecting me to say hi or something, as she stopped what she was doing and actually made eye contact, anyways, since i feel that she doesn't really like my presence or just been plain ignoring me before i didn't think much of it, it was only later that i felt that i had made a mistake and that i should have done something, and now i can't even say hi, i feel really weird but i also want to get to know her more, she seems like a really nice girl... no wait.. she probably is.. but i want to find this out...

I know the whole deal on asking her out and stuff, but what im stuck is in the actual talking part, like i could say hi and all that basic stuff, but what i fear is the silence, that moment when we both just look each other and we have nothing to say, i know that this is a breaking point, and i don't want this to happen at all.

This has been playing inside my head for the past couple of days, i do want to talk to her and all, but that silent moment will kill me.. this is know...

Now here's the deal... how the hell can i break this ice...???

Ps - i do tend to say anyways alot, sorry... its just me..

So any advice would be most appreciated...

Posted by RenderedDream on Jan-16-2003 22:32:

go directly talk to her, if u get silence at least you'll know that u won't get anything
askmen site has cool articles if u want more info

Posted by Lira on Jan-16-2003 23:07:

quote:
Originally posted by RenderedDream
go directly talk to her, if u get silence at least you'll know that u won't get anything

Or else, depending on the silence she might be shy. It's not her words, but her attitude that will show you whether she's interested or not. Maybe she finds you a cool person and wants to be just a friend. Maybe something else. If you're having some trouble talking to her, ask her out "so you can get to know each other better since you guys can't talk much at work" or something along these lines

Posted by decode on Jan-16-2003 23:22:

ask her what she does when shes not working, ask her about the weekend ect, theres shit loads of things u can ask. Ask her what music she is into. if she says trance then thats a bonus.

Posted by Furel on Jan-16-2003 23:59:

MAAAAAAAAAAAN do you sound confused!!! HEHEHE... But hey, don't worry! If she made eye contact, like you said, she saw something on you... If it's bad or good, it is up to you to find out... Try to approach with some standard conversation... Something that works for me is asking about college/school etc... Cause then you can have an idea of her likes/deslikes without asking her directly... Which is good!!! But just dont talk about it all the time... You know, its just a start up kindda talk... I am sounding confusing now???

Posted by Floorfiller on Jan-16-2003 23:59:

gotta agree with Maaz...

it sounds to me like you are both kinda shy. you should just bust out and start up a conversation one day...i don't know talk about how you hate your boss or just straight out tell her you like her or something. shy girls are the easiest girls to approach because they aren't gonna just plain yell in your face "hell no" and leave you standing there like a moron. don't be stupid...you know what you want to do...so do it.

RenderedDream

hehehe i go to that site too sometimes, but usually just for dressing tips hehehe.

Posted by trancearmada on Jan-17-2003 01:20:

first of i would not bother dating people that I work with, but if you feely really strongly about her than go for it. But than again imagine this, you guys start going out and what not, and it's just gonna get plain weird at work. it's gonna make things for the worse, so I would really reconsider the idea.

Just start a conversation ask her about her life what she like the ussual bull... the more you get to know her, the better you will understand if you guys get along.

p.s. how can you be working with someone and not talk to them in the first place is kind of weird especially if you work together. where the hell do you work, it might make it easier to suggest how you should approach her..... good luck with everything

most importantly, be yourself

Posted by mr. poopyhead on Jan-17-2003 01:23:

Re: Its Always About A Girl...

Posted by kirbtastic on Jan-17-2003 02:08:

NEVER DATE ANYONE FROM WORK..work sucks enough as it is..if u break up with this girl or she breaks up with u...u still will have to see her all the time...which will make work suck donkey balls

Posted by Psygnosis on Jan-17-2003 02:11:

This was exactly the same thing that happened to me, a girl i liked at work smiled and did talk to me but i had to start off the whole thing....the first time my friend said that she was scared of me for some reason...like a was a player or some shit...

then one day i just went in ingnoring her for about 1 month then she started talking to me...

the reason i ignored her was to show her that i wasn't desperate for her and inside of her pants (if's that what she was thinking)

So in your case, you should ignore her making her like a normal stranger and see what happens

Posted by AnotherWay83 on Jan-17-2003 02:38:

Re: Its Always About A Girl...

quote:
Originally posted by bassaholix

I know the whole deal on asking her out and stuff, but what im stuck is in the actual talking part, like i could say hi and all that basic stuff, but what i fear is the silence, that moment when we both just look each other and we have nothing to say, i know that this is a breaking point, and i don't want this to happen at all.

don't be afraid of the silence. it's not weird at all, so dont worry. u will have a far better chance of having a more meaningful conversation since u wont just be blabbering crap without thinking of what u are saying, and she will be more impressed...but dont let the silence go on for too long, cos then u lose that 'connection' that u make with her. if u do find the pause too awkward, u can always just look into her eyes, str8 eye contact, and say how nice her eyes are, or sumthing like that, but say it without sounding like a woman . always works.

good luck

Posted by elena on Jan-17-2003 04:42:

Re: Its Always About A Girl...

quote:
Originally posted by bassaholix
....

This has been playing inside my head for the past couple of days, i do want to talk to her and all, but that silent moment will kill me..

well there's your problem..this has been happening all inside your head, all by yourself. i mean no matter how great your intuitive skills are, you can't really be sure of any of the above. maybe she isn't shying away or maybe youre getting the completely wrong impression etc...
breaking the ice shouldnt be that hard..you guys do work in the same place i mean worst comes worst you can borrow her stapler and exchange a few words/glances..ok lame example.
anyhow it cant be THAT hard..just say hey my name's blah and just talk to her...don't think too hard about these things. it'll just confuse you.
oh and sometimes silent moments are good

Posted by Warez Guy on Jan-17-2003 06:29:

Whatever you do don't date people from work. I was friends with this girl that I worked with for about two years and one day I asked her out. So we went out for a while and everything was going ok then one day she's just like this isnt working out, i think we should just be friends. I was so heartbroken and pissed off at her that I couldn't even speak to her. Now we still work together, but I only have to see her 1 day a week. We don't speak at all, I have nothing to say to her, and every time I see her I just get really mad all over again. So if you really like this girl you should quit or wait untill she quits before you start going out.

Posted by bassaholix on Jan-17-2003 12:14:

Well it was 10 minutes before she had to leave to work.. i had to stay later to help out more.. anyways... she was rushing to get things done and i was just comng back with a Latte in my hand and saw her rushing and all.. then i just stopped and said... hi, put my Latte down and began helping her, without asking if she needed some help.

Then she smiled and said thank you, anyways, she was just complaining about how they made her work till the last second and all, and then i said that always happens around here, then we made eye contact and then she just smiled and looked away... i think my heart stopped or something.. lol... that made my whole day.. im even smiling as i type now...

damm i can't wait till Monday to see her again...

-=-
You doods and dudettes are right...
No fear.. thats what made me finally talk to her..
I know im confused.. but if i don't do this.. ill probably regret it like forever.. and ive got too many of those up my sleeve...
Don't date your co-workers... you all make good arguments.. but the line above this one.. beats it to the bone...

Killa K everyone.. thanX for your advice as always it helps alot...

Posted by Sand Leaper on Jan-17-2003 13:45:

Let us know how it went,dude

Posted by Prototrance on Jan-17-2003 14:21:

Right, dont fuck about. Go and tell her straight away how you feel and ask her out for dinner or something. You have to let her know that you fancy her otherwise you will end up exactly where I am with the girl I like....."the friend zone". And its a shit zone.