Sad Valentines day, I need help! - TranceAddict Forums

TranceAddict Forums (www.tranceaddict.com/forums)
- Chill Out Room
-- Sad Valentines day, I need help!

Posted by FuzzyGreen on Feb-14-2003 21:47:

Sad Valentines day, I need help!

What do you do if you are in my situation:

My girlfriend/fiance is always depressed. Every month she goes through a massive pms type thing where she just becomes a crazy bitch for two weeks out of every month. This has been getting worse and worse over the last few years. I don't know what to do. When I suggest that she get help, she just gets mad at me and says that I just don't understand. I have enough experience with women to know how to treat them and be simpathetic and a good listener, but her issues are in her head... what would you do?

I really want to get her on some anti-depressants and to see a phyciatrist. She needs help or else she might kill herself (she has committed suicide before).

I love this woman and would do anything to help her be happy. I try my best to be the best fiance to her as possible, but it just isn't enough.

HELP!!!

Posted by tranceDJ on Feb-14-2003 21:52:

Well you're doing the right thing so far. Try to get her friends involved too to make her see that she needs help. Also explain to her that it's not her fault and lots of other people go through the same problems. Through treatment she should get better. Good luck.

Posted by Ibiza Dreams on Feb-14-2003 21:58:

Damn

Dude you're fucked if you stay with her, period. People like that need to help THEMSELVES before you can help them, you might really really care for her, but you are only fucking yourself up for someone that you are not even SURE is capable of being helped. Do yourself a favor and go hunting for new booty before shit hits the fan. Life is too short for that type of stuff.

Posted by FuzzyGreen on Feb-14-2003 21:59:

She really doesn't have any friends right now... Not true friends anyway.

Unlike Men, I think when women get to their mid 20's they tend to lose their friendships in turn for family/men priorities. Women have this biological clock thing that really fucks everything up in their women/women friendships.

Posted by Izzy on Feb-14-2003 22:17:

i really have no experience about situation such as these... i kinda agree with ibiza dreams in that the realization she needs is to want to help herself rather then you helping her. that doesnt mean you shouldnt be there, keep confronting her on the issue and show her that it would be in her own interest to seek help, maybe do it in the few weeks where she is not on PMS (i know how girls are then). show her the love you have for her strong but be there to guide her and show her she probably needs the help. maybe all she needs is a hand, just as a mom walks her kid into kindergarten for the first time.

Posted by Lira on Feb-14-2003 22:26:

Re: Damn

quote:
Originally posted by Ibiza Dreams
Dude you're fucked if you stay with her, period. People like that need to help THEMSELVES before you can help them, you might really really care for her, but you are only fucking yourself up for someone that you are not even SURE is capable of being helped. Do yourself a favor and go hunting for new booty before shit hits the fan. Life is too short for that type of stuff.

No way mate... this is a really selfish way of thinking

Fuzzy, all I can say is: try to make her understand there's something wrong with her. One day, she'll realise it's time to change. Be patient (it seems you're already being), and be supportive... and try to make her see she needs help

Posted by cammie on Feb-14-2003 23:53:

Re: Sad Valentines day, I need help!

quote:
Originally posted by FuzzyGreen
What do you do if you are in my situation:

My girlfriend/fiance is always depressed. Every month she goes through a massive pms type thing where she just becomes a crazy bitch for two weeks out of every month.

What kinda birth control is she using? I had horrible PMS but when I switched to depo-provera, my PMS almost totally stopped (I still get a little irritable for a couple days but nothing like before). She should see her ob-gyn and talk w/her about depo - it worked for me.

Posted by noikeee on Feb-15-2003 00:10:

Re: Sad Valentines day, I need help!

quote:
Originally posted by FuzzyGreen
(she has committed suicide before).

eh, sorry if I can't help you with a serious comment about a very serious situation, but I just couldn't not laugh at this.

and, heh, what is a PM? pre-menstrual?

Posted by Lira on Feb-15-2003 03:12:

Re: Re: Sad Valentines day, I need help!

quote:
Originally posted by PaRaNoIk0

eh, sorry if I can't help you with a serious comment about a very serious situation, but I just couldn't not laugh at this.

and, heh, what is a PM? pre-menstrual?

Yeah, it's what we call in portuguese TPM.

By the way, I'll defend my fellow portuguese friend here saying that the only reason it might sound funny in our native language is because it sounded like she had died and was still alive... never mind him

Posted by Dmatrox on Feb-15-2003 03:30:

Re: Sad Valentines day, I need help!

quote:
Originally posted by FuzzyGreen
What do you do if you are in my situation:

My girlfriend/fiance is always depressed. Every month she goes through a massive pms type thing where she just becomes a crazy bitch for two weeks out of every month. This has been getting worse and worse over the last few years. I don't know what to do. When I suggest that she get help, she just gets mad at me and says that I just don't understand. I have enough experience with women to know how to treat them and be simpathetic and a good listener, but her issues are in her head... what would you do?

I really want to get her on some anti-depressants and to see a phyciatrist. She needs help or else she might kill herself (she has committed suicide before).

I love this woman and would do anything to help her be happy. I try my best to be the best fiance to her as possible, but it just isn't enough.

HELP!!!

so halt a month she is depressed? i guess if you do the math its 6months in a year this girl is depressed. If i were you, id dump her ass. Do you think you are the cause to her depression? She should be happy if shes in a good relationship. MAybe ask her.

btw does she do drugs like ecstasy, cause the higher you go the harder you fall

Posted by mikefasssy on Feb-15-2003 03:47:

is this that lady who lived next door to you that slept around all the time and you coudl always hear it?

Posted by Ibiza Dreams on Feb-15-2003 03:52:

Depo Provera

quote:
Originally posted by cammie
What kinda birth control is she using? I had horrible PMS but when I switched to depo-provera, my PMS almost totally stopped (I still get a little irritable for a couple days but nothing like before). She should see her ob-gyn and talk w/her about depo - it worked for me.

Hey Cammie, I was wondering about Depo-Provera and i've mentioned it a few times to my girl, but she says it's full of side effects. Especially weight gain. Did you experience any negative side effects after taking it? Thanks.

Posted by eternity on Feb-15-2003 08:09:

are her parents around to help out? like Maaz says, you're doing good, but you need to go the extra step - whatever it takes because at the moment it seems like the shit will hit the fan if something doesn't change.

hope it works out for you and her

-eternity-

Posted by bassaholix on Feb-15-2003 09:54:

Try getting in contact with like a PHONE therapist service...

Worked for me..

Posted by mos man on Feb-15-2003 11:01:

Re: Re: Damn

quote:
Originally posted by Maaz
No way mate... this is a really selfish way of thinking

Fuzzy, all I can say is: try to make her understand there's something wrong with her. One day, she'll realise it's time to change. Be patient (it seems you're already being), and be supportive... and try to make her see she needs help

that is easy to say but it doesnt always work like that in reality..

Posted by cammie on Feb-15-2003 11:03:

Re: Depo Provera

quote:
Originally posted by Ibiza Dreams
Hey Cammie, I was wondering about Depo-Provera and i've mentioned it a few times to my girl, but she says it's full of side effects. Especially weight gain. Did you experience any negative side effects after taking it? Thanks.

I did at first, gained about 15 lbs (I went from 98 to 112 after the first two shots) but it was worth it, no periods (or really light ones), no cramping, no bloating, no back pain, no wild mood swings, no unexplained anger (I was a vicious person during PMS).
I have been doing depo for about 3 years now, I watch my calorie intake, exercise and have my weight stable at 105 and I am happy.
My friend started the shots but got severe migraine headaches and her blood pressure went crazy so it's always a great idea to talk to the ob-gyn about it. Everyone reacts differently to any kinda drug. Depo does have some mean side effects but when it works it is totally wonderful!

Posted by Rostros on Feb-15-2003 11:36:

depression is mainly from many things of course it aint a simple subject , If i was you id just let her handle it , as helping her out might cause more conflict between , give her time and some music and let her sort it out , if the pressure is getting too much for you , then just spend some time away from each other ,. tough one gl though

Posted by Blue. on Feb-15-2003 18:47:

My valentines day was sad too . Was messing around with my girl, nothing hardcore and she calls me up today crying saying that she can't believe that she did that and its all her fault and I kept telling her to stop crying and that it was just as much my fault and everything. She broke up with me and apparantly "its just for now, she's not saying we're not getting back together". I don't understand though, we've been going out for about 2 months now and I'm 16, shes 15 but I mean wtf I don't see what the big deal is, she's never done anything before but we didn't even really do much, nothing past first base anyways so whats the big deal

WTF does this mean? Do I say I'm single if people ask me? Do I tell people we've broken up or am I supposed to wait things out