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-- Short Funny as Fuck Jokes!!!
Short Funny as Fuck Jokes!!!
Ok people post your jokes here, lets try making em short and sweet!
Here's mine:-
A recent survey was carried out on sexually active men asking them what they most liked about Blow Jobs, 99.9% all said the same thing..."The ten Minute silence"
Two Fleas on a fanny. one is a burglar , one is a junkie. How do u tell them apart? The Burglar is in the bush and the junkie is on the crack!!
What's the difference between the french and toast?
You can make soldiers out of toast.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by unionjack What's the difference between the french and toast? You can make soldiers out of toast. |
A 75 year-old man goes to his doctor for a check-up.
Doctor: "You're doing fairly well for your age."
Patient: "You think I'll live to be 80?"
Doctor: "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer?"
Patient: "No, I've never done either."
Doctor: "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
Patient: "No, red meat is unhealthy!"
Doctor: "Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, such as playing golf?"
Patient: "No, I don't."
Doctor: "Do you gamble, drive fast cars or fool around with sexy women?"
Patient: "No, never!"
Doctor: "Then why the hell do you want to live to be 80?"
Paddy comes home 2 find his wife in a bra and crotch-less panties. She opens her legs and says "do u want 2 lick this?"
Paddie Replies: Fuck off, look what its done 2 your knickers!!
| quote: |
| Originally posted by unionjack What's the difference between the french and toast? You can make soldiers out of toast. |
Re: Short Funny as Fuck Jokes!!!
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Kirk Ok people post your jokes here, lets try making em short and sweet! Here's mine:- A recent survey was carried out on sexually active men asking them what they most liked about Blow Jobs, 99.9% all said the same thing..."The ten Minute silence" |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by unionjack What's the difference between the french and toast? You can make soldiers out of toast. |
A man takes his daughter to the doctor to get her on birth control.
Doctor asks the man "Well is she sexually active?"
Man replies "Hell no, she lies on her back like her mother!"
Englishman, Scotsman & an Irishman in a pub talking about there daughters. Englishman says "The other night I'm walking past my daughters bedroom and I see a packet of cigarettes on her bed, 16 years old and i never knew she smoked," Scotsman says"Thats nothing I was going past my daughters bedroom few days back and I see a bottle of scotch on her bed, 16 years old and i never new she drank." Irishman pipes up and says"you think that's bad I walked past my daughters bedroom just today and see a packet of condoms on her bed, 16 years old and I never knew she had a cock."
Trance Zone UK
hahahaha
Why are women like prawns?
Co's there heads are full of shit but the pink bit tastes nice.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by unionjack Why are women like prawns? Co's there heads are full of shit but the pink bit tastes nice. |
A father and son go to the pharmacy to pick up some antibiotics for their sick mother.
So the kid sees a pack of 3 condoms and says "Daddy, daddy, what are these?"
the father responds "Thats a three pack of condoms, they are for high school kids, one for friday, one for saturday, and one for sunday"
the boy then sees a 6 pack of condoms and says "Daddy daddy what are these?"
the father responds "Thats a six pack of condoms, they are for college kids, 2 for friday, 2 for saturday, and 2 for sunday"
so the kid sees a 12 pack of condoms and says "Daddy daddy who are these for"
"oh, thats a twelve pack of condoms, thats for married couples, one for each month of the year." says the father.
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