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-- humor in terrible times #2

Posted by biznology on Mar-27-2003 13:24:

humor in terrible times #2

hopefully this doesnt strike some the wrong way, but i found it quite informed/hilarious...

Guide: Surviving War in Iraq

yah its from the US, but that doesnt mean its retarded. check in out|discuss

Posted by mr. poopyhead on Mar-27-2003 18:13:

hahaha... omfg..

"Iraqis shooting at you from a hospital? Well, you've got no choice in the liberation of Iraq but to blow up that fucking hospital! Republican Guard in an orphanage? What kind of freedom-loving orphans would let the Republican Guard go to the mattresses in their basement? Blow them sky high with bunker-busters! Did that bus full of civilians just run that checkpoint? Liberate them the only way we know how, with a steady stream of depleted-uranium tipped autocannon fire from the turret of your Bradley!"

welll.. its probably not happening like this.

Posted by Mental Exodus on Mar-29-2003 02:52:

THis gets
9.5 out of 10 " "'s

was the referal to the letters about how bad Sadam was and how willing the people were to suport the US based on anything real that i can see?

Posted by Alccode on Mar-29-2003 04:05:

HAHAHAHAHA biznology, you are an angel!!!!

This is really really hilarious... as soon as I saw Something Awful, I thought, "Sweet! This is gonna be good." They're usually incredibly hilarious, if anyone remembers their Counterstrike parody, they'll agree.

Oh, and what's interesting is that this also has some political statements too, surprisingly! For example, my favourite is below. Please at least read that, if you're not going to read the entire article.

quote:

I have offered several tips about surviving a war in Iraq, but none is more important than the concept that you are liberating Iraq from Saddam Hussein for the Iraqi people. You aren't conquering Iraq for the United States, you are making it free for the people of Iraq to enjoy liberty, democracy, and the laugh-filled fun times of burying their hundreds or thousands of war dead civilians. Hey, remember when the Iraqi people made that online petition for us to go blow up their cities and depose their government? No? I do, it was awesome, it had all of these tear-stained testimonials about how bad Saddam was and how much better it would be to just get smothered by the collapsing structure of an apartment building or incinerated by the warhead of a Tomahawk.

Yeah, they even wrote letters personally to George W. Bush asking him to kill their children in their beds at night as long as they could be sure that Saddam did not have any more weapons of mass destruction. They really are quite a bunch of charmers. The way they wrote impassioned essays about how they just want to enjoy peace and freedom and an America free of the incredible terrorist threat of obsolescent Eastern-bloc tanks and missiles that travel almost all the way to the border of Israel. They promised that no matter how many of them burned, bled, or starved to death that they would never even think of taking up arms against our noble country.

Incredibly funny, yet makes one think.

10/10 for this article!

To Mental Exodus:

No, that wasn't true .. it's satire and written quite sarcastically, brilliantly at that.

Posted by biznology on Mar-30-2003 16:17:

thanks all- hoped it didnt piss anyone off.

and it goes to show you that people from the US arent completely unintelligent/humorless|

quote:
Still not convinced?! Over 70 percent of the United States population now believes that blowing up the cities of Iraq will create a toehold for American brand democracy in the Mid-East. In completely unrelated news over 85 percent of the population of the United States tuned in to the season finale of "Joe Millionaire".