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some funny american stories
Which Nation spent millions of dollars to send two men to the moon, then sent 10 more people, before they realised it was just a barren rock?
In which country do chainsaw manufactures find it necessary to put disclaimers like "do not attempt to stop the saw whilst it is activated with your hands." AND, get taken to court by a man who tried to stop a chainsaw with his hand because it didn't say not to in the manual (which, for those American's amongst you, it did). What makes this story really ironic was that when the brand of chainsaw manufacturers first release there chainsaws in America, it was noticed that it was significantly larger than the original, because of things like the aforementioned warnings, in fact there was even an story on it on American TV news. They thought it was very funny that the manufactures thought that they were so stupid they needed these warnings. Strangely, there was little in the news about the court case that followed.
How about the American that phoned up his computer manufacturer to say that his cup-holder had broken? "Cup-holder? What cup holder??" "Well, you push a button on the front and it comes out. And when I put a cup of coffee in it, it broke." Once again, for the yanks; It was actually his CD drive. Duh.
Who has to write "London, England" along the bottom of all their films when they show a shot of Big Ben, or "Paris, France" when shown a picture of the Eiffel Tower?
Which country makes you fill in a questionnaire asking questions like "were you in or around the area of Nazi Germany between 1939 and 1945?" Or "are you entering the United States with the intent of committing criminal or terrorist activities?" Before granting a Visa?
In what country would a person invent a new sport, then think to himself "I know, I'll give this sport the same name as another sport, even though it is far less appropriate for this sport than the other sport, which already has the name."
On the subject of sport, the "World series" which only Americans are allowed to enter.
Who thought "I know, lets invent a weapon that is so powerful, there is no way to defend against it, that's powerful enough to destroy whole cities in one go." Oh, and "that will make the area unfit for habitation for years after it has been used, and, in fact will end up giving people in this country cancer, and other unpleasant diseases."???? Eh?
All Dollar notes are the same, except for the number, meaning that it's impossible for blind people to tell them apart. Also, what is a "Dime" worth? It doesn't say on the coin. Are you somehow just supposed to know? Is it obvious? It isn't to me...
And also, some of the questions asked at American courts:
"Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
"The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"
"Were you alone, or by yourself?"
"Were you present when your picture was taken?"
"Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"
"Did he kill you?"
"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
"How many times have you committed suicide?"
Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby), was Aug.8?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"
Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"
Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
A: "I went to Europe, sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"
Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by who's death was it terminated?"
Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"
Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work.".
Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."
Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."
Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood."
Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, you dummy, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."
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