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Okay COR, I have a quandry
And if you only clicked because you hoped it involves:
>Buttseks
>Russian hookers
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You can go back to what you were doing.
So basically I stole a USB pen drive the other day. I was on a university library computer and I found a USB stick in the slot when I came to use my own. I had a look on to see if I could find the owner's name on a document or so forth so I could get their email from the uni's database and let them know I had it. No luck.
After three hours in the library on this computer nobody has turned up to claim their pen drive. I could have handed it in to the reception desk but I decided to steal it instead. Clearly, my logic ran, the guy who owned the drive didn't value it very much (it was a 2gb drive, although they're pretty cheap these days) or was grossly negligent. There were no important documents on it, just a few lecture notes, and I've been sick recently of idiots inviting theft upon themselves. When I'm at home I walk my dog around the streets at night, and it's incredible the things people leave on their gardens asking to be swiped: shoes, bikes, pushchairs, footballs and so on. There have been many other instances where I'm being invited to steal things due to people's stupidity or laziness. At the moment I'm pretty tough for cash and my laptop is running out of HDD space. In the face of all this, I stole the fuck out of that USB drive.
However, I've had a bit of regret. Firstly, I had a run-in with this evangelical Christian who claimed that, as an atheist, the only thing stopping me from being a horrible human being who killed, stole and commmitted other sins was the presence of the law*. Obviously I didn't waste time arguing with him, but I was incredibly pissed off because I knew that all these times I'd had the opportunity to steal without consequences and hadn't were proof that I don't fuck people over constantly simply because that's not who I am. Now I have broken that.
The second thing is this: today my friend left his bag in McDonalds, and feared it would have been stolen in the hour it took him to realise his mistake. It wasn't. And then, just now, I watched Pan's Labyrinth, a fantastic film. Looking on the IMDB I came across this piece of trivia:
"Guillermo del Toro is famous for compiling books full of notes and drawings about his ideas before turning them into films, something he regards as essential to the process. He left years worth of notes for this film in the back of a cab, and when he discovered them missing, he thought it was the end of the project. However, the cab driver found them and, realizing their importance, tracked him down and returned them at great personal difficulty and expense. Del Toro was convinced that this was a blessing and it made him ever more determined to complete the film."
These things told me that anyone can make a mistake, and just because they have doesn't mean their negligence should have been punished. People can leave even the most important things somewhere due to a moment's lapse of concentration. One day I will do this. And one day I might get fucked over by someone with my own callous attitude.
So right now I want to return the USB drive to its rightful owner. The question is, how would I do that now, and is there any point?
COR Version: I stole a USB drive someone had negligently left in a library computer, but now I think I should try and return it and want help figuring out how.
*The hypocrisy was lost on him, clearly, since he was basically talking about himself but was substituting "God" with "law".
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Mixes:
> Maximum Elevation [Progressive House]
> DI.FM 26th Anniversary Guest Mix [Progressive House]
> Live @ Dance:Love:Hub London, 11.10.2025
> Higher Peaks [Progressive House]
> Dance:Love:Hub Afterparty (The Return) 23.11.24
Like these sets? Come see me play live at Kibosh in Manchester: https://www.instagram.com/kibosh.mcr/
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