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Illusion
tranceaddict



Registered: Feb 2002
Location: Land of Oz
Cool International Rules of Manhood

01: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella, unless at a football game, and your pies are getting wet, then for the eating period only it is permissible.

02: It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.

03: Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his mates.

04: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

05: If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

06: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

07: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.

08: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

09: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcoh-pop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless super-model....and it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game (can explain offside or LBW) and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a mate of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever


___________________
Courageous, untroubled, mocking and violent; that is what Wisdom wants us to be. Wisdom is a woman, and loves only a warrior.
--Friedrich Nietzsche

Old Post Aug-27-2004 13:37  Australia
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Boomer187
Spicy Hotdog



Registered: Aug 2001
Location: USA

a girl made these.




there would be a lot less rules if a guy did.

Old Post Aug-27-2004 13:50  United States
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Ripped Bag
Senior tranceaddict



Registered: Jun 2001
Location:

Always remember: tuck, zip only in that order.


Screw any chick you please. Only mention ones that you're willing to be seen with though.

Old Post Aug-27-2004 14:11  United States
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The Peach
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Mar 2004
Location:

wow, those are hilarious! i really like 02.

Old Post Aug-27-2004 15:34  South Korea
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Slylee
love lockdown



Registered: May 2001
Location: Hollywood, FL

hahahah my favorite radio show in the morning read this a while back, i was laughing so hard on the way to work...


___________________

My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.
quote:
Originally posted by notelfreak
man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

Old Post Aug-27-2004 18:30 
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Torley Wong
Torley Wong sings a song!



Registered: Mar 2004
Location: www.torley.com
Re: International Rules of Manhood

quote:
Originally posted by Illusion
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever


LOL... what about Women's Gymnastics?


___________________
Hi, my name's Torley. I'm here at TA to learn, share, and have fun!

get hooked, click here to listen to "The_Autistic_World_of_Torley.mp3" | dialup version
more @ torley's techno music and anti-techno music blog

Old Post Aug-27-2004 18:36 
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Torley Wong
Torley Wong sings a song!



Registered: Mar 2004
Location: www.torley.com
Re: International Rules of Manhood

quote:
Originally posted by Illusion
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever


LOL... what about Women's Gymnastics?


___________________
Hi, my name's Torley. I'm here at TA to learn, share, and have fun!

get hooked, click here to listen to "The_Autistic_World_of_Torley.mp3" | dialup version
more @ torley's techno music and anti-techno music blog

Old Post Aug-27-2004 18:36 
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Streakfury
Angrily Running Naked



Registered: Mar 2002
Location: 11th Dimension
Re: International Rules of Manhood

quote:
Originally posted by Illusion
08: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.


Brought a tear to my eye.



EDIT: Which means I've just broken rule #2...


___________________

Old Post Aug-27-2004 19:01  England
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Derosas
Senior tranceaddict



Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Back in Portland, OR usa

Hehe, i don't now... sounds like the rules to being a grunt american country boy


___________________
Derosas.sitesled.com - for my music.

Old Post Aug-27-2004 19:02  Guatemala
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Slylee
love lockdown



Registered: May 2001
Location: Hollywood, FL

yea i don't think these rules apply to metros


___________________

My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.
quote:
Originally posted by notelfreak
man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

Old Post Aug-27-2004 19:10 
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jonze
Unicorn Farts



Registered: Feb 2004
Location: where blue skies meet the sunrise

quote:
Originally posted by Slylee
yea i don't think these rules apply to metros


i think metros are a hybrid

Old Post Aug-27-2004 19:12 
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Slylee
love lockdown



Registered: May 2001
Location: Hollywood, FL

metros are closet gays


___________________

My soliloquy may be hard for some to swallow, but so is cod liver oil.
quote:
Originally posted by notelfreak
man i can't believe i tried to come off as responsible in that other thread, i am so full of shit just don't tell anyone

Old Post Aug-27-2004 19:20 
Click Here to See the Profile for Slylee Click here to Send Slylee a Private Message Add Slylee to your buddy list Report this Post Reply w/Quote Edit/Delete Message

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