Hey dude,

Congrats on ur first attempt

The main instrument u have here isnt that great a sound - would use something a lot more interesting.

The song gets boring pretty quickly - i'm currently at 2:30 and it hasnt really gone anywhere yet, the same melody etc etc

The vocal samples I feel are a little strange for this type of tune, kinda political but the guy sounds like a comedian, which makes your tune sound kinda non-serious. Just because he mentions drugs doesnt mean it makes a good sample :P I think this sample would be better off in a hip hop tune maybe?

To be honest with you:

- The structure isnt great - it doesnt lead anywhere and the song drags on
- The sounds are really basic and uninteresting - get better synths, Especially at 6:00, sounds like a computer game!
- the EQ'ing is ok but not great, the melody is too loud.
- The whole song is too long
- there is no real variation in the sound, you need fills, complicated drum lines, filter sweeps, anything to make it interesting! Listen to any decent trance and see what I mean - there is always something changing.

I'm really sorry but I can only give this 2/10 :/

Feel free to rip my tune apart - its my first attempt too

http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...threadid=230022

quote:

Originally posted by DJDefrag Hey dude, Congrats on ur first attempt The main instrument u have here isnt that great a sound - would use something a lot more interesting. The song gets boring pretty quickly - i'm currently at 2:30 and it hasnt really gone anywhere yet, the same melody etc etc The vocal samples I feel are a little strange for this type of tune, kinda political but the guy sounds like a comedian, which makes your tune sound kinda non-serious. Just because he mentions drugs doesnt mean it makes a good sample :P I think this sample would be better off in a hip hop tune maybe? To be honest with you: - The structure isnt great - it doesnt lead anywhere and the song drags on - The sounds are really basic and uninteresting - get better synths, Especially at 6:00, sounds like a computer game! - the EQ'ing is ok but not great, the melody is too loud. - The whole song is too long - there is no real variation in the sound, you need fills, complicated drum lines, filter sweeps, anything to make it interesting! Listen to any decent trance and see what I mean - there is always something changing. I'm really sorry but I can only give this 2/10 :/ Feel free to rip my tune apart - its my first attempt too http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...threadid=230022

appreciate the harsh feedback, exactly what i was looking for actually, all of my friends are like 'yeah its great!' and i can never get honest feedback
hm lets see
i suppose my whole approach wasn't trance at all really...i have a strange liking for the slow subtle moving pieces that don't do much, i have too much patience for most songs, i won't get bored with something till way past most people i know
so lets see
i agree with the synth at 6:00, it was just in there for the rhythm, i've changed it since uploading and posting
the main 'synth' however is actually just a rhodes electric piano with a slight delay on it, not a synth at all
imo sounds way better than any of the other sounds i've tried with the same melody
EQing you're definately right, i haven't worked much on that at all, just made sure there was no clipping etc even though it was a quick job so could've missed shit there too
and as for the jello biafra sample, i know its not best fit for this song
its actually taken from a small piece about television newscasters, poking fun at them
anyways, thanks for the feedback, as usual more's always welcome

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