aiight, so I spent some time today adding in some automation, some fx, and adjusting some of the volumes. Much Better I think. Take a listen!

It's rough around the edges but yeah I was only a Dj until Jan. 2005 and never tried to produce anything, so I'm not a good critic but it does sound very old school. Intro is nice. Volume needs to be fixed at 0:30 and I don't know what you did at 1:10 but I don't think it fits. Someone else needs to help explain better with their production skills.

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But the subsequent collision of fools...
Well versed in the subtle art of slavery.

counter point melodies work fine, sound design is awful, sounds completely stale, in the beginning i'd recommend you to use similar sounds to what the pros use, you'll have time later to develop your own sound, and the track needs more elements, right now is linear and predictable , there's only a way to fix this, keep producing and all your tracks will improve.