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ok sounds good so far, i assume you will compress your kick so that it will sound constant throughout the whole mix, if you have vst support i recommend sidechaining your kick and bass with compadre, other than that, its a little dry (try reverb on some elements) the chops at the end would sound well at the end of every second phrase sequence or so, your mixing is pretty good, concept is definatelly present, i am not too familiar with this style except for that it needs more energy than this, i assume the lack of it due to the absence of major instrumentation..
how long have you been producing for? i remember i've heard a quick preview of something that you did last year, and it sounded pretty good in my ears.
Also, since this is not mastered, at the end you would have to maximize your track so that every frequency will sound to the max at its potential without distorting or overlapping with the rest of the waves.
That my friend is something that will come to you with practice.
Anyway, how would you like to write a little feedback to my tune?
i think its a few topics below, called Wolf24/Basic dawn rmx by Megaman (which is me)
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http://soundcloud.com/ctrl4
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shame the sample is so short.. would have loved to hear the full tune.. maybe add some shakers half way the breakdown.. im not to keen on that "broken cd" effect.. or maybe something went wrong with uploading?..
