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All ze Russian dancers, raise your hands!  j/k
Anyway, your sound really improved from your first tune, maybe you need to practice just a bit more. One of the things you'll learn is that a producer should be careful with the elements depending on the genre he chose. For example, if you want to produce hard trance, pay attention to these details:
1) Sped down (or sped up) vocals are fun at times, but depending on the context (i.e. how you distribute them and what the tune sounds like), it may sound cheesy. (e.g. 00:23)
2) Breakdowns are fun. Snare rolls are okay. Reverse cymbals are all right. Pitching down a note in the end of a measure is tricky, but can be good. However, when you do all this at once with sped down vocals, it IS cheesy. (e.g. 4:28)
3) Adding a counter-melody is really good for having a better made track, however it's not as easy as it sounds. Depending on how you combine the melodies, they may sound just too happy. (e.g. 4:55)
4) When you add too many cheese elements in a tune that wasn't supposed to be cheesy, it sounds weird.
By the way, "Cheese" is not a bad thing, don't forget it. You just have to decide what you're looking for. If you want to add vocals and produce something dancy (like something from "Demo", "Virus" or even "Diskoteka Avaria" would produce), this tune is really fun (in a good way). Nevertheless, if you want to produce hard trance, either try to produce something less happy (so it'll be hard indeed) or don't be affraid of being cheesy and do something happy, because both kinds of hard music are fun to dance to 
Did you understand my point? 
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Indiana Clones Upcoming Sets
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Kompulsor - In the Case of Bass....!
