A guy goes into a seafood restaurant and asks to see the dishes of the day. The waiter wheels over a trolley and the man examines the dishes.

"I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" says the man.

"Okay." replies the waiter and calls out "Gervais!!"

A little French chef appears with a large knife, the waiter instructs the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip.

Gervais is just about to slice at the poor squid when he notices a tear running down its face.

Gervais is touched, and admits that he hasn't the heart to kill the squid.

"Not to worry" says the waiter, and calls out "Hans!!" at which an enormous German bloke comes out of the kitchen.

"Sir", says the waiter, "this is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans, kill that squid!"

The dishwasher wields a huge rolling pin and is just about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringes back and gives a little cry.

"I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" Hans admits, his lower lip trembling.

"Well sir," says the waiter, "it just goes to show...

...

That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais. with mild green, hairy lip squid"

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"I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again."

LMFAO!

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Hehe. That's funny. Its funnier coz Gervais is the french original of my surname and, errr. yeah.

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On a similar note:

There's this frog goes into a bank. He walked up to the desk and looks at the name take of the clerk

"Hello Paddywack, I need to borrow some money to setup a lilypad business"

"And how much were you looking for?"

"About 20 grand"

The clerk explains that she'll have to ask the manager so she phones the manager and says "I've got a frog here wants to borrow 20 grand".

"Really?" Says the bank manager "what's his name, I know most of the frogs round here"

The clerk asks his name and the frog tells her it's Jospeh Jagger. She tells the manager this.

"Ah yes" the manager says "I know his Father well. Has he got anything to put as collatoral?"

She asks the frog this and he says "Yes, I've got this tiny ceramic elephant" so she tells the manager this.

"So what shall I do?" She asks the manager

He replies "It's brick-a-brak Padywhack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone".

spanners

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ROFLMFAO!

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quote:

Originally posted by Fundamental A guy goes into a seafood restaurant and asks to see the dishes of the day. The waiter wheels over a trolley and the man examines the dishes. "I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" says the man. "Okay." replies the waiter and calls out "Gervais!!" A little French chef appears with a large knife, the waiter instructs the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip. Gervais is just about to slice at the poor squid when he notices a tear running down its face. Gervais is touched, and admits that he hasn't the heart to kill the squid. "Not to worry" says the waiter, and calls out "Hans!!" at which an enormous German bloke comes out of the kitchen. "Sir", says the waiter, "this is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans, kill that squid!" The dishwasher wields a huge rolling pin and is just about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringes back and gives a little cry. "I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" Hans admits, his lower lip trembling. "Well sir," says the waiter, "it just goes to show... ... That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais. with mild green, hairy lip squid"

i've known that joke for about 10 years.. but i could never be arsed to actually tell it to anyone

ROFL