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Young couple in the cinema. The girl says, "I must have a piss,can I squeeze past you?"
"Why dont you squat down on the floor and do it" says the boyfriend. "You'll have to disturb all these people, besides its dark, no one will see you."
"OK" she says. She pulls her drawers down and squats on the floor.
The bloke starts feeling horny at the thought of her down there, so he reaches down and makes a grab.
He feels something long and hard and says, "Urgh! Have you changed your sex?"
"No" she says "I've changed my mind....I'm having a shit instead."
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The stockbroker was nervous about being in prison because his cellmate looked like a real thug.
"Don't worry," the gruff looking fellow said, "I'm in here for a white collar crime too."
"Well, that's a relief," sighed the stockbroker. "I was sent to prison for fraud and insider trading."
"Oh nothing fancy like that for me," grinned the convict. "I just murdered a couple of priests."
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A woman walks into the doctors office with a huge boil on her arse.
The doctor squeezes it, pushes it, and then looks at the hard white pus core. He says this is too big a job for me so he sends her to Gus the pus sucker.
The woman goes to Gus who looks at the bulging red, inflamed boil festering with pus and says "this is no problem" and he proceeds to press his lips to her arse and sucks out the pus and core of the boil.
Halfway through, the woman drops a mammoth fart. Gus stops what he's doing, looks up and says "You know lady, its people like you that make this job fucking disgusting."
lofllllll rotfl  
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