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Special High Intensity Training
Send as a memo to your co-workers:
RE: Intensity Training
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our new policy to kleep all employees well trained, though our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other company. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed on the top of the S.H.I.T. list and our management is especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. that you may require.
Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).
Since our management took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, due the the fact that they are already full of S.H.I.T.
If you become full of S.H.I.T., you may become interested in a job, training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get S.H.I.T. placements/jobs and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming for Special High Intensity Training (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.). Further promotions may be sought for Director of Extensive Employee Programs for Special High Intensity Training (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T).
If you have any questions regarding your S.H.I.T., Please direct them to our Head Of Training for Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
Thank you,
Company Management
___________________
'-.SgtFoo.-'
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