Okay, so there's this bus full of ugly people. I don't know why it was full of ugly people, and only ugly people, but it was; not a single person on the bus had ever had anyone attracted to them.



So, the bus is just going along, and the driver fucks up or something, and runs headon into an oncoming truck. Everyone dies, and goes up to meet their maker.



Well, God feels sorry for them all, and decides to grant them each one wish before they enter paradise.



So they're in a big line in front of the gates, and he asks the first one what their wish is. After thinking a few seconds, she says: "I want to be gorgeous." Now the next person hears this, and starts freakin' out. He thinks it's the greatest thing ever, and wishes to be handsome. This continues on, everyone wishing to be beautiful/stud-like/etcetera, until the line is about half gone. Then the guy at the end starts fucking up, laughing his ass off, and God casts an eye at him, thinking: "What the hell?", but does nothing about it, and lets the same wish continue on. Now, when there's about 10 left, the guy is going NUTS. He's rolling around on the clouds laughing as hard as possible, and God is just wondering wtf is up. So he finally gets to the guy, and asks what his wish is. The guy calms down, stands up, and says:



"Make 'em all ugly again."



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A guy goes to the tattoo parlor and offers the tattoo artist $1,000 to put a $100 bill on his willie. The artist agrees, but is curious and asks the man why he wants to do this. The man replies, 'I have my reasons which I would rather not tell right now.'



So, the artist goes ahead and does the job. But, all the while he is anxious with curiosity over why this man wants a $100 bill on his penis.



So, he tells the man that he really needs to know the reason why and says that the man can keep the $1000 he would have paid for the tattoo if he would just tell the reason for putting a $100 bill on his willie.



So, the man consents and offers these three reasons: 'First, I like to play with my money. Second, I like to watch my money grow. And third, and most importantly, the next time my wife wants to blow $100, she can stay home to do it.'



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A blind man walked into a diner and made a strange request to his waiter. He asked if he could have the unwashed fork of the last customer the waiter waited on. The perplexed waiter agreed and handed the blind man the unwashed fork. The blind man proceeded to put it in his mouth and said, "Hmmm, the meatloaf and mashed potatoes are good here. I'll have that."



The next day, the blind man returned to the diner and did the same thing. Now, on the third day, the waiter saw the blind man coming into the diner. He still didn't believe what the blind man was capable of, and he wanted to trick him. So he quickly grabbed a fork and asked his waitress wife, Amy, to pull down her panties and rub it between her legs.



When the blind man asked for the fork, the waiter gave him the fork with a big smile on his face.



The blind man put it in his mouth, and said, "Hmmm, I didn't know Amy worked here."

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