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Dj DrEaMz
tranceaddict in training

Registered: Oct 2003
Location: Cypress

Nightmare

Hey!...This is my first time writing on this forum and might be my last.

Well let me get right down to it. I have been a long-time listener to almost ALL forms of "Techno"...Trance, House, Dance, Gabber, Hardcore, Softcore...ECT!!!! Mostly my life has always been ALL about the TRANCE...i ever started creating music. I even got out with an albumn...Dj DrEaMz - Nightmare...but life has never been completely whole.
I was diagnosed with ADHD around March of 2003...i take adderall for medication. In other words I NEVER GET SLEEP!!!!...especially when listening to any thing with a beat. I would try to get sleep, but before i knew it my foot or hand would be tapping to a beat...and song would get stuckin my head in a repeated loop.
The Adderall will make EVERYTHING just so much more...uh..."clear"... to me. I would start noticing people around me. How much of an idiot almost every person, in their own way, is. i would start to see the WHOLE picture that almost everyone, in this world, is obsoulete. i would start feeling upset...sad...depressed. But lately i have been thinking. Am i the one really depressed or is almost everyone else that way and they are just not showing it.
I would just not say anything and wonder if people would notice. No-one cares! A few friends of mine would ask "whats wrong?" I just would be like "nothing."
What type of world is this? where has all this come from? Where do i go? what can i do?
I feel so alone in this world. When i am with my girlfriend...by the way i am a junior(11th grade) and my girlfriend is a Freshman(9th grade)...I feel like nothing can go wrong in this harsh world. before her i felt so SO SO SO alone. If one was to meet my girlfriend, Vic, they would say that she is the chick version of me, just not all at the same time...REALLY hard to explain. When i am away from her for a long time. MAN OH MAN do i get depressed. I just feel like i want...no ...NEED someone there to give me a hug or somthing. I get really sad.
I realized its not just her that i get sad about when i feel alone. i HATE my dad, plus he's never around. My bro is off at college, my sis is never home ...takes tap dancin or somthin...my mom doesnt get home till WAY late at night,,,so late that i eat dinner at 10:00 at night. I get lonely...i feel like no one understands..,like no one cares...so i go and hide,,,listen to Music...Trance...to try to get away from this place on earth...bored out of my mind...i have NO IDEA WHAT TO DO!!!
Can anyone help? Is there anyone out there who has gone through this. who feels or felt like me? AM I ALONE???

dj dreamz
Dj DrEaMz'Z HoMe

Nov-03-2003 22:38 United States

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Vivid Boy
TA's GodFather

Registered: Sep 2001
Location: T.O

everyone feels alone....just fuckin work out or something..i dunno everyone finds their own way to cope with their shit...ur too young to be worried abt all this shit go out have fun live ur life worry abt this shit when u get older man

Nov-03-2003 22:47

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Chris Crossland
Duke Silver

Registered: Jul 2003
Location: London

^^WE AHVE THE SAME MONITOR

I take zoloft

___________________
Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

Nov-03-2003 22:58

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Vivid Boy
TA's GodFather

Registered: Sep 2001
Location: T.O

PICS OR STFU!

Nov-03-2003 22:59

DrUg_Tit0
e^(i*pi)+1=0

Registered: Nov 2002
Location: Zagreb, Croatia

Re: Nightmare

quote:
Originally posted by Dj DrEaMz
Am i the one really depressed or is almost everyone else that way and they are just not showing it.
[/URL]

Nah, many people are depressed, but most aren't.

Now I've been of much help, haven't I?

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1+1=10

Nov-03-2003 23:02 Croatia

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Orbax
Supreme tranceaddict

Registered: Apr 2002
Location:

why hallo there buttsekz lolol!!1!

Nov-03-2003 23:13 United States

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Chris Crossland
Duke Silver

Registered: Jul 2003
Location: London

quote:
Originally posted by Vivid Boy
PICS OR STFU!

___________________
Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

Nov-03-2003 23:17

Vivid Boy
TA's GodFather

Registered: Sep 2001
Location: T.O

WE HAVE THE SAME MONITOR!!!

Nov-03-2003 23:39

Stéphanie
Supreme tranceaddict

Registered: Dec 2002
Location: Laval

First of all, i got to say that it is totally normal for you to feel depressed at your age. Between to ages of 15 and 20 every one goes through a period where they feel as if "no one understands how you feel"... The most important thing for you to realise is that IT WILL PASS. This is not a permenant feeling. If you feel great with your GF then spend time with her. But if this feeling of sadnest gets worst, then dont feel shy about talking to a social worker at school and as for your friends, chances are some of them are going through the same shit u are.

Dont even think no one cares, cause there is ALWAYS someone who does.

Nov-04-2003 00:02 Ireland

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Fast Turtle
Runs Quick

Registered: Nov 2001
Location: At The Party House HP: 9302

the adderall shouldn't cause you to not sleep. Adderall is amphetamine and dextramphetamine and something else, kind of like ephedra. If you don't have ADHD and take it, it'll make you hyper as fuck, like someone on methamphetamines. The point is in ADHD, your brain is functioning too much, so you need more activity to keep it all busy...the stimulants do this so you can think clearer.

Amphetamines can fuck up the dopamine and seritonin balance in your brain, too. I'd recommend you stop taking them for a while, though they are very addictive, so you may wanna just slowly ease off of them if you decide to try.

___________________
Alcoholic Alliance
The Ecstasy (MDMA) Bible Thread 2.0

quote:
Originally posted by Masonious
you win again dude - and nice move shoving the whole i figured out how to order pizza thing in my face. i tried that 4 and a half months ago and woke up with a Taiwanese transvestite but to Ygrene it's just, "anoother day in the life, noooo biggieee".

Last edited by Fast Turtle on Nov-04-2003 at 01:05

Nov-04-2003 00:59 United States

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whiskers
old skool

Registered: Sep 2001
Location: in your dreams

Re: Nightmare

quote:
Originally posted by Dj DrEaMz
The Adderall will make EVERYTHING just so much more...uh..."clear"... to me. I would start noticing people around me. How much of an idiot almost every person, in their own way, is. i would start to see the WHOLE picture that almost everyone, in this world, is obsoulete. i would start feeling upset...sad...depressed. But lately i have been thinking. Am i the one really depressed or is almost everyone else that way and they are just not showing it.
I would just not say anything and wonder if people would notice. No-one cares! A few friends of mine would ask "whats wrong?" I just would be like "nothing."

that's pretty much what i feel like most of the time, but i haven't been diagnosed with anything (haven't gone to a doctor) and don't do drugs / medicine / alcohol / etc.

i'm think people that feel this way make up around 3-4% of the population. let me ask you a question - was there any major event in this life that lead to this? or a series of smaller events, maybe.

and the part where you have songs looping in your head, i sometimes have that too, and ironically, depressing songs are the ones that seem to get stuck in my head longer, making me depressed. sigh.

___________________

Nov-04-2003 01:41 Ukraine

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astroboy
Supreme tranceaddict

Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Melbourne

Keep yourself busy and give yourself some goals.. take up a sport.

Martial arts are great in that respect.

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