That sounds like it could be tasty. Unfortunately i'm down my dear ma's for early crimbo next weekend.

___________________


www.baseref.com
www.magnasoma.com

az, u comin to pause you illegal immigrant?

___________________
Fave Tune at the Moment: Mesmerizer - Taking Control

>>> Download my mix here <<< (Electro, Techno & Psy-Trance)

i wanna go and see Zabiela!!

whats the timing of the night? i finish work at 7.30, although i could swop shifts and do the early shift... Where is Chew the Fat? i'm sure i will be able to make it

___________________

The Midnight Collective MySpace

he doesn't really play my kinda stuff, but he's wprth goin to watch.

brilliant!

I am definitely there.

Chew is *the* best breaks night in London, Paul Arnold played for me last week and he smacked it. The Key is a great venue, crisp sound and a bar open 'til 6am! Bring that boozy malarkey on, I say.

quote:

Originally posted by SleeplessAndy crisp sound and a bar open 'til 6am!

no ste, I'm not

I can't afford to do both unfortuneately mate, and London is a combined trip to look at Uni course, go see Zabiela, and make some tracks with my studio engineer chum.
I've also got to make a statement at my bosses disciplinary hearing on the Friday morning at 9am

quote:

Originally posted by SleeplessAndy I am definitely there. Chew is *the* best breaks night in London, Paul Arnold played for me last week and he smacked it. The Key is a great venue, crisp sound and a bar open 'til 6am! Bring that boozy malarkey on, I say.

I was told it was right next to kings cross, is that true?
if not, can you tell me where the fuck it is

http://www.streetmap.co.uk/streetma...=183583&A=Y&Z=1




/////////////////////THE FATMAIL....XMAS MAIL ///////////////////////////
It’s far too early for a Christmas theme, but in the absence of any imagination on our part, you’ll have to fucking make do with it. Ho ho ho! Besides which, I’ve just ordered a kilo of high-grade Algerian smack to see me through the festive period, so the chances of there being any more Fatmails between now and New Year are pretty slim. That and the fact that there’s so much Fat action going on. While most people sit around grimacing at unwanted presents and trying to avoid having to speak to their awful families, we’re gonna be mainlining crack into our eyeballs and raving on up to the sounds of the same old breakbeat records we’ve been listening to for the last five years. Genius! Then 2004 approaches - the beginning of another year of dragging out the continuing sham of Chew The Fat...
In other ‘news’...
Last weekend saw Paul Arnold rise up to new heights in his DJing career by playing at a trance night.
Fat’s head honcho slipped on the dayglo and cracked out his finest progressive breaks, impressing the other DJs at the night with his own brand of breaks-led arpeggiageddon.
Next up, Arnold tries to blag a set at a nu-metal club.

//////////////// THE FAT CHRISTMAS CRACKER //////////////////
Chew the Fat at The Key Sat 13th December -
Come to this one, otherwise Tiny Tim probably won’t last til New Year. We need to make a couple of hundred quid to get in his methadone supplies for the next month. Please help!
Guest DJs on the night:
Medicine 8 - spit and swallow
Tayo - short and curly
Friendly - spick and span
James Zabeila - young and dumb
Paul Arnold - wash and go

10pm - 6am @ The Key,
Lazer Rd, Goods Yard, off York Way Kings Cross N1
£5 before 11 / £10 allnight / £7 concessions
Chew the Fat Christmas party @ The Bug Bar
featuring
Friendly - the Christmas turkey
Truckers Cafe DJ’s - the stuffing
plus
Anna B, Steelo, Ziggy, Daddy, Rod, Jane, Freddy, George, Jeffery, Zippy, Bungle, Dartagnan, Aramis, Huey, Duey, Louis, Mickey, Minnie, Sleepy, Dopey, Happy, Bashful, Rudolph, Donner and Blitzen. And Friendly.
8pm - 3 am @ The Bug Bar, St. Matthew’s Church, Brixton
FREE/£4/£6
For more info Phone 07815 976572
Chew the Fat @ The End Saturday 27th
Evil 9 - decks and effects
Friendly
The Wax Monkies
Friendly
Cool Uncle
Friendly
Friendly
Friendly
&
Friendly
18 West Central Street, WC1
10 till 6
£10 / £8 concessions

//////////////////THE FAT LABEL/////////////////////
White labels avalable now from The online shop at www.thefatclub.com
King of The Hill ‘My Life as a pornstar’ ctfat017
Klaus ‘Heavyweight’ Hill - under his new guise for fat releases a belter.
Friendly “10 Things you need to know about Friendly’ Lp Sampler ctfat016
a. Friendly ‘2black2gay’ ctfat016 lp sampler
b. Friendly vs Toby Neal “Sneaker Sex”

Rel date 1st Decmeber.
‘Music for the beat of the night’
Jockey Slut 4/5

‘Help ma boab! Please mek this God awfy racket stop’
Jimmy Crankie, The Guardian
It’s about that time we wheel out this old chestnut again an’all:
“I bet paul arnolds got a smile on his face, he seems to have givin us a
barrage of fine records this year, and i have my money on them being
breaks label of the year (at my imaginary dance music awards where im the
only
judge),’2black2gay’ is already seeing plays from the likes of unkle,
krafty and ozzy super whizz kid dj ‘kid kinobi and even radio 1’s zane lo
has given it a spin, this could well be fats biggest record to date,
theirs no doubt it has a certain finger lickin vibe to it, but it’s a tad
harder
fasterun’darker, which is nice. 3 & half blobs” - MK, DJ Mag
also still gathering dust at the website:
PEACEMAKER: Crisis/ The Thinker CTFAT001
PSYCHOTROPIC: Hypnosis (Lee Coombs Remix) CTFAT002
JEF DAM: Does It Really Matter CTFAT003
APOLLO KIDS: The Wrath/ Frontline CTFAT004
APOLLO KIDS: Freak Tha Funk/ The Dumz CTFAT005
DADDY: Better Than You CTFAT007
APOLLO KIDS Hustlers/ Frontline (remix) CTFAT008
VANDALZ INC : Just Keep On CTFAT009
FRIENDLY : Glottal Stomp CTFAT010
DADDY “Come Back” Friendly remix CTFAT011
APOLLO KIDS “Counting Off” Meat Katie & Elite Force remix CTFAT012
HEDROCK VALLEY BEATS “How Do you Feel” CTFAT013
DADDY VS FRIENDLY “Glottal Stomp” Bootleg remix CTFAT014
HEDROCK VALLEY BEATS “How do you feel” Koma and Bones Remix CTFAT015

Remember, Chew The Fat records don’t HAVE to be listened to: they can make attractive place mats, hats or bizarre sex-aids.
////////////////////FAT IN AUSTRALIA/////////////////////
Assuming a major crack deal comes off next week, Paul Arnold & Friendly will be touring the shores of Australia throughout December and January.
Paul Arnold will be playing at The Good Vibrations Festival with a line up
to die for. Check it out.
www.jammusic.com.au/goodvibrationsfestival/
Friendly willl be doing the national tour of the Big Day Out for 2004 (www.bigdayout.com).
Around that tour he’ll also be doing comedy club dates with his new ventriloquism act - featuring the sinister puppet ****o the Clown. Look out for that in Newcastle, Brisbane, Gold Coast, Sydney, Melbourne, and elsewhere.
///////////////DEMOS DEMOS DEMOS!//////////////////
Is your music fatter than Lisa Riley’s mimsy? We’re deperate for new signings to save our label from the bargain bins in the January sales.. Please send any demos, along with the tattered remains of your artistic integrity, to:
The Fat Man
Battersea Business Centre
Unit 36,
99-109 Lavender Hill
London
sw11 5ql

[email protected]

////////////////////// FAT Competition//////////////////////////
oooh! This week we;ve really dug deep for the competition prize. Since it’s almost Xmas, we thought we’d reward all of our fans with something a bit special: so we’ve come up with SOME STICKERS! Yes, imagine that, a pile of your very own Fat and Friendly stickers.
To get your hands on them, just answer this arse-teaser:
Who invented christmas?
a) Walt Disney
b) Jesus
c) Mohammed
d) Ernest Borgnine

Email your answers to [email protected] with ‘Christ on a bike’ in the subject header. Don’t forget to include your name and what you want for Christmas so that we can laugh at you cynically in the office.
Last week winners were
BEN STACEY, Brandon D’Orlando, Rolond Vinson, Kristian Paljazma, Jimmie Crankie, Marie Phillips and Bob Holness. Well done guys: a vial of shit is on its way to you in the post as we speak!
////////////////////END OF FATMAIL////////////////////////
Thank Christ it’s Christmas...
The Fat Boys x
TO UNSUBSCRIBE, TOUCH YOURSELF

Last edited by SleeplessAndy on Dec-05-2003 at 15:21

quote:

Originally posted by SleeplessAndy TO UNSUBSCRIBE, TOUCH YOURSELF

LMAO! The most unique way of unsubscribing I have seen

Here's one of the previous Fatmail, sorry about the formatting, some extra line breaks seem to have crept in and I can't be bothered to remove them. Still funny though.






//////////////// FATMAIL: FOR THE LADEYYYZZZ MAIL////////////////////

We receive enough requests, comments and torrents of abuse from these
Fatmails
to know when we're on to a good thing. But one recent fan has had me
touching
myself like a fuck-starved Bonobo. You see, it's dark in this hovel, where
I
sit in gloomy darkness dreaming the most far-fetched bullshit my
drug-addled
imagination can muster, the occasional chicken bone from Paul Arnold's
bargain
bucket my only comfort. But news of one high-profile admirer has got me
fired
up (I think you know who you are.). In fact, I'm all greased up and ready
to
rumble: standing stripped to my G-strings, sweating in front of the mirror
like
a Herculean paedophile at an S-Club Juniors concert.

But that's not all that's exciting this week at Fat towers. We've got a big
double-ender for you this weekend, ladies (and gents). Two nights of the
most
hideously overrated 'talent' in the insidiously nepotistic world of
cod-breakbeat, for starters. Two nights for you to come and leer
suggestively
as we preen behind the decks like peacocks on heat. Two nights to have a
few
drinks, pop a few pills, then rut each other furiously in the toilet
cubicle.

I've got sex on my mind, breakbeats in my stereo and a copy of Golden
Grannies
shoved discreetly in between the pages of today's Metro.

Read on for details of why you should be as hot to trot as us.

/////////////////// CHEW THE FAT this
Saturday!////////////////////////////////////

This weekend sees a clash of two of the largest pairs of egos in dance
music,
at Saturday night's Fat extravaganza. First up we have UK Garage imposters
The
Stanton Warriors - featuring Dominic 'De Boer' B and that other bloke -
with
their own particular brand of white man's ragga-breaks.

Their opponents on the evening are none other than FC Kahuna - a duo who
have
remained on the very cutting edge of bandwagon-jumping since the mid '90s.
From
Big Beat to Electroclash, the Kahunas don't like to be left behind when it
comes to new musical trends (reports of their nu-Garage rock guise are as
yet
unconfirmed). If it's in the pages of Dazed and Confused, they'll play it,
so
fuck knows what they're doing associating with a bunch of untrendy nonces
like
us.
As well as that, there's the common or garden Fat night at the Bug Bar
tonight.

////////////////////CHEW THE FAT @ THE BUG BAR - ///////////////

FRI 17TH OCT

Big-balled Brixton breakbeat bollocks with boys, booze and bogus guests.

Starring

Vlad - TCR - impaling you on his spear of breakbeat
Ziggy - getting jiggy
Steelo - just making these names up now
Malinna - again, no idea who this is

8pm - 3 am @ The Bug Bar, St. Matthew's Church, Brixton
FREE/£4/£6

////////////////////CHEW THE FAT AT THE KEY ////////////////////

SAT 18TH OCTOBER - TOMORROW

"Le Grand Masturbateur"

starring

THE STANTON WARRIORS - worries in the dance
F.C. KAHUNA - fickle fannies
PAUL ARNOLD - please God no!
&
Fuck me it's FRIENDLY

10pm - 6am @ The Key,
Lazer Rd, Goods Yard, off York Way Kings Cross N1
£10 / £7 concessions

//////////CHEW THE FAT HAS A DISCO AT THE END/////////////////

FRIDAY 31ST OCTOBER

Since our gak habits have got so bad that we can hardly hold a piece of
vinyl,
we've reached desperation stakes with our bookings. So this month's gig at
The
End is turned over to Australia's most 'sought-after' house sound-system:
THE
SNEAKY SOUND SYSTEM.

We have absolutely no idea what they've got to do with a Brixton-based
breakbeat night, or why they're even in the country, but Australia's GQ
Magazine said: "Sneaky parties are the closest thing we have to a naughties
era
Studio 54....Think Boogie Nights meets Ziggy Stardust meets Beastie Boys -
with
the ability to take the piss out of themselves!"

And according to our lesser-bred cousins down-under, the Sneaky Sound
System
(SSS) are, without a doubt, the hottest property in Oz with their
collectives
parties blowing up!!
SSS is the brainchild of Black Angus, Hesse, Tricky Nick, Dirty Den, Ricky,
Bianca and MC Double Donuts. Their parties encompass music from nu-jazz and
jazzy breaks to funk and soul to good time house music with a crew of up to
32
DJ's, 58 MCs, a sax player, a trombonist, a kazoo player, a wanking monkey,
a
retarded koala bear and a pair of Siamese goats called Hand and Shandy.
They
have guested literally all over Australia, where they are renowned for deep
'n'
funky hip-shaking party grooves and fancy white suits - like some sort of
troupe of cricket umpires on crack. But let's face it, even a bunch of
coked-up
Aussies are gonna look good when up against Paul 'Alzheimers' Arnold, so
you
may as well come down for a good old laugh anyway.

@ The End, WC1, 10 pm - 6 am
£10/ £8 concessions

//////////////////////////////COMPETITION
TIME/////////////////////////////////

We've got a Cheese and Onion Ginsters roll that's 3 weeks past its sell-by
date
to give to the lucky reader who can answer this tongue tittler:

Which musical genre are FC Kahuna best known for?

a. Electrogash
b. Lager breaks
c. Cod-tech house
d. Whichever one they feel like when they wake up in the morning.

The first three people to send in their correct correct answers will also
receive a pair of free tickets. To what? God only knows.

Email your answer to [email protected] with your full name, mother's
maiden
name, and £5 handling fee made payable to the 'Dirty Sanchez Memorial
Fund'.

//////////////////////////////GOODBYE/////////////////////////////////////

Right, the Viagra's just kicking in - see you at the bar!

The Fat Boys x

TO UNSUBSCRIBE, SEND MONEY

Last edited by SleeplessAndy on Dec-07-2003 at 12:33

ROFL, I fucking love Chew The Fat's mails. Last one I saw had "To unsubscribe, please kill yourself immediately"

quote:

Around that tour he’ll also be doing comedy club dates with his new ventriloquism act - featuring the sinister puppet ****o the Clown.

Quality

___________________
"Wenn du dich zum Untergrund zählst, reicht es nicht, es nur zu sagen. Du musst auch viel graben, um es zu werden."

Last edited by Sand Leaper on Dec-06-2003 at 23:45