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George Carlin standup from 1992 that I thought you guys would enjoy reading...
This is from George Carlin's live standup from NYC - Jammin' In NYC.
Big doings in the Persian Gulf, you know my favorite part of that war, it’s the first war we ever had that’s been on every channel plus cable. And the war got good ratings, didn’t it? well we like war, we like war, we are war like people, we like war because were good at it, you know why were good at it? – because we get a lot of practice. This country is only 200 years old and already we’ve had 10 major wars. We average a major war every 20 years in this country, so we’re good at it! And it’s a good thing we are we’re not very good at anything else anymore – ehh – can’t build a decent car, can’t make a TV set, VCR worth the fuck, got no steel industry left – cant educate our young people, can’t get health care for old people, but we but we can bomb the shit out of your country alright, we but we can bomb the shit out of your country alright – especially if your country is full of brown people – oh we like that don’t we, that’s our hobby, that’s our new job in the world, bombing brown people, Iraq, Panama, Grenada, Libya, you got some brown people in your country tell them to watch the fuck out or we’ll god damn bomb them. But when’s the last white people we’ve bombed, can you remember the last time white, can you remember any white people we’ve ever bombed? The Germans, those are the only ones, and that’s only because they were trying to cut in on our action. They wanted to dominate the world, bullshit, that’s our fucking job, that’s our fucking job. Boom Boom Boom – Boom Boom Boom. Now we only bomb brown people, not because they are trying to cut into our action, just because they are brown. Now you’ve probably noticed I don’t feel about that war the way we were supposed to feel about that war, the way we were ordered and instructed by the United States government to feel about that war. You see, Ill tell ya, my mind doesn’t work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking, and I’m not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. I don’t just roll over when I’m told to, sad to say most Americans just roll over *click* on command. Not me. I have certain rules I live by: my first rule, I don’t believe anything the government tells me – nothing – zero – nope – and I don’t take very seriously the media or the press in this country who in the case of the Persian Gulf war were nothing more than unpaid employees of the Department of Defense and who most of the time, most of the time, function as an unofficial public relations agency for the United States government. So I don’t listen to them, I don’t really believe in my country, and I gotta tell you folks, I don’t get choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags – I consider them to be symbols, and I leave symbols to the symbol minded.
Me, I look at war a little bit differently, to me war is a lot of prick waving, okay, simple thing, that’s all it is, war is a whole lot of men standing out in the field waving their pricks at one another. Men are insecure about the size of their dicks, and so they have to kill one another over the idea. That’s what all that asshole, jock bullshit is all about, that’s what all that adolescent, macho, male, posturing, strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about – its called dick fear. Men are terrified that their pricks are inadequate and so they have to compete with one another to feel better about themselves and since war is the ultimate competition, basically men are killing each other in order to improve their self-esteem. You don’t have to be a historian or political scientist to see the bigger dick foreign policy theory at work. It sounds like this ‘What? They have bigger dicks? Bomb them!’ And of course the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks, it’s a subconscious need to project the penis into other people’s affairs – its called fucking with people!
So, as far as I’m concerned, that whole thing the Persian Gulf was nothing more than a biiiiiiig prick waving, dick fight. In this particular case, Saddam Hussein, had questioned the size of George Bush’s dick. And George Bush has been called a wimp for so long – wimp rhymes with limp – George Bush has been called a wimp for so long that he has to act out his manhood fantasies by sending other peoples children to die. Even the name… Bush… even the name… Bush… is related to the genitals, without being the genitals. A Bush is a passive, secondary sex characteristic. Now if this mans name would have been George Boner well he might have felt a little bit better about himself and we wouldn’t have any trouble over there in the first place. This whole country has a manhood problem, biiig manhood problem, in the USA, you can tell from the language we use. Language always gives you away, what did we do wrong in Vietnam? We pulled out! Ehh? Not a very manly thing to do is it? When your fucking people, you gotta stay in there and fuck them good, fuck them all the way, fuck them ‘til the end, fuck ‘em to death, fuck ‘em to death, fuck ‘em to death. Stay in there and fucking them until they are all dead. We left a few women and children alive in Vietnam, and we haven’t felt good about ourselves ever since. That’s why in the Persian Gulf, George Bush had to say, ‘This will not be another Vietnam’, he actually used these words, ‘This time we’re going all the way’. Imagine, an American president using the sexual slang of a thirteen year old to describe his foreign policy. If you want to know what happened in the Persian Gulf, just remember one thing, remember the names of the 2 men who were running that war, Dick Chaney and Colin Powell – somebody got fucked in the ass.
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/SARCASM.
| quote: | Originally posted by Coup
Vlad wins.
Flawless victory. |
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