Comfort Zone Basics
1. Don't ask because you don't want to know
2. Heaven's gate
3. Hell's asshole
4. Be careful what you say & who you say it to; the CIA (Comfort Zone Intelligence Agency) does exist
5. 68% of the patrons are always more fucked up then you!
6. The CZ Virus is real, exists only in the Zone and is only curable by not going to the zone for 4 consecutive wks.
7. Half of Americas Most Wanted can be found at the comfort Zone
8. If the Zone were to shut down the crime rate in the city would increase by 32%
9. If you decide to play the "do I stay or do I go" game you will lose!
10. Trust me you'll be back. Everyone comes back
11. Many people will remember you but you will remember none. Fake it.
12. Yes she is 16
13. Bartering, negotiating and haggling are common practice.
14. If she looks like a stripper she is. If she's not a stripper she's a man.
15. If she's a man warn friends.
16. If your a guy over 150 lbs your shirt will eventually come off for a pose down to show your muscles are bigger than some other juice pigs.
17. Do not try to distinguish between fear & pleasure at the zone. There is no distinction.
18. No I don't have any money you can borrow.
19. For every problem there is a chemical solution.
20. Enjoy your time here your famous... everyone is.
21. No really I don't have any money you can borrow.
22. The 3 degrees of separation theory applies.
23. Everyones not staring at you...unless you think they are.
24. You know its time to leave when;
a)You wake up in the Green Room in a puddle of piss with your empty wallet on your chest
b) You've already left you just didn't know it
c) You finally hear the Bouncer yelling at your friend to get that asshole out of here & he's pointing at you.
d) When all your Comfort Zone associates say-DUDE, YOU LOOKED FUCKED!-
e) You realize that the friendly fag you met earlier is giving you an EXTRA friendly message. And your enjoying it-
f) You've been partying for three days and think that one more pill/bump/line/cap will miraculously give you energy
g) The back hems of your designer jeans are tattered & black & your eyeballs are about to pop out of your skull
h) No one has drugs
i) Everyone looks familiar
j) No one looks familiar
k) When you look in the mirror and you mistake the white ring on the edge of your nostril for a powdered donut
l) You hear voices talking to you in the bathroom stall only to find out there is no one else there
m)You start talking to your genitals to hurry up & piss already
o) You stop breathing
p) You wonder around aimlessly, not knowing what to do w/ yourself
q) You consider checking in at the Waverly Hotel
r) The music stops but you think it's still playing dancing around like a madman
25. You know you've been going to comfort zone too long when;
a) All the friends you have now, you met at the Zone
b) You miss a wk at the Zone & wonder if its still there
c) You stopped hiding the fact that your a regualr patron
d) Your cool w/ the young baggy sweatsuit bandana wearing thugs & they're cool w/ you
e) You actually play a game of pool-
f) When your friend gets robbed & you console him
g) The bouncer searches you
h) You know the "Persians"
i) the sight of 3 uniformed police officers inside the zone is business as usual
j) the fear of being punched, stabbed, shot, raped or kidnapped has subsided
k) Its your only form of exercise and your sporting a 6 pack. And you attribute your fine figure to a healthy diet of Crystal Meth, Coke & G
l) You have seperate "Zone" clothes and shoes you bring out on Saturday night.
m) You stay in Saturday night so you can go out Sunday mornings
n) The bums at the mission know you
26. You know you've left the comfort zone when;
a) its time to go to work.
27. Top 10 reasons to stop going to the Zone;
a) Can't think of any right now, I'll get back to you on this.
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lol
...... a little skeptic still 
..... damn dekoze rips it though.
