On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)

On Boot's Chldren's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of chldren.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a chld's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal chldhood belief.)

___________________
Few of my all time favorites:

Benz & MD - Oneric
Madoka - Plataforma
Solid Globe - North Pole
Quivver - Space Maneuvers Part 3
Digital Witchcraft - Brindavan (Grayarea's Purge the Inventory Mix)

___________________
Wave is to particle as zero is to one as bagpipes are to modem noises.

about the superman instruction i could agree cuz some kids might not know it.i remember that about 3 years ago a kid died cuz he jumped off his apartment's window because he thought he was a pokemon character.

Quality reading.

___________________
LISTEN TO MY SHITTY TRACKS ON SOUNDCLOUD

Shit's pretty lame. Wouldn't make it much in Funny/Humour Stuff forum either. Come up with something a little better in the open forum. Take a lesson from JP on what's good. Thanks.


[[[smoke]]]

quote:

Originally posted by smokeape Shit's pretty lame. Wouldn't make it much in Funny/Humour Stuff forum either. Come up with something a little better in the open forum. Take a lesson from JP on what's good. Thanks. [[[smoke]]]

werd.

Heh, it entertained me.

___________________
Just when you thought this was over, it had only just begun...

quote:

Shit's pretty lame. Wouldn't make it much in Funny/Humour Stuff forum either. Come up with something a little better in the open forum. Take a lesson from JP on what's good. Thanks.

You are one very, very bitchy individual. Sugestion, pull the pipe out of your ass, thats the wrong hole.
Peace

___________________
Currently being owned by: Oceanlab - Satellite (Markus Schulz Coldharbour Remix)

I got this as an email three years ago. So this just might be a bit old.

___________________
America is like a melting pot. The people at the bottom get burned and the scum floats to the top.

quote:

Originally posted by DJ_TRON You are one very, very bitchy individual. Sugestion, pull the pipe out of your ass, thats the wrong hole. Peace

Hey, that woman in your avatar, she really blows! What a shitty DJ.

___________________
Currently Whoring:

• Space Tribe Vs Electric Universe - Rabbit Hole
  
• CPU - So It Begins
  
• Too Short & Mistah FAB - The Sideshow
  

quote:

Originally posted by arctic Hey, that woman in your avatar, she really blows! What a shitty DJ.

yarrrrr!

___________________
Wave is to particle as zero is to one as bagpipes are to modem noises.

quote:

Originally posted by arctic Hey, that woman in your avatar, she really blows! What a shitty DJ.

omg owned -_-