well ive just got off the fone with my best friend nik... his grandad is in hospital right now, and it was announced this morning that he has throat cancer. this comes after a year ago his dad being caught having an affair and moving to live with his mum, his great granny died on my birthday [april 16th], and his grandad hit the bottle, and a week later was in hospital with a bad throat... it was only a piece of food in there, but alcohol had not helped matters... his great grans funeral was on monday... [his grandad was let out of hospital for the funeral and is now back in]. it is not known yet how far gone the cancer is, or if it is treatable.
the thing i think i ned help with, is nik is a bit of a stubborn guy, and he seems to be just normal, and i can be a sensitive guy and pay attention to people that are in a crap spot, but how do i show that i care or deal with him as a friend when all this bad stuff is happening? ... cos i know he wont be open about how he is feeling with me. should i try and give the big friend speech about how i am here for him, or shall i just let him tend his own wounds?

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sorry to hear about such a situation.
in the case of your friend, you should let him know that you're there for him. even if he doesn't end up opening up to you, it's a bit of warmth that you can provide him with by just telling him that you're there whenever, to chat or just to share the silence with. it's also just a little more comfort that he could use at such a time.

Don’t give the big friend speech, but let them know that if they do need to chat you’re always there then leave it to them.

sorry to hear mate

yeah just tell him that ur there for him.

quote:

just to share the silence with

fukin word.

quote:

Originally posted by Spin Doctor Don’t give the big friend speech, but let them know that if they do need to chat you’re always there then leave it to them.

thats what i would do! and let him know that no matter what he has to say u will listen and he shouldnt be scared to think of what u might think of him!

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Write a nice card stating the above if you don't want to do the talk thing.

give him a pill and then he will let it all out

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Well, maybe he's not prepared to deal with words (or maybe he's dealing with it better than we expect, we never know), so all I can say is: show him you're there for him by actions, so he knows he can count on you

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Keep close tabs on him. Call him often, keep him company. That will help tons.

much love,

Cheryl

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have a heavy bevvy with him

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