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For the Atlanta TA's (something for us to laugh about)
saw this in my live journal today and I thought I would share. Their is 2 versions!! For those of you not from Atlanta these Barbie's are seperated into parts of the metro area. If you have any questions ask me and i'll tell you =)
1st Version
Buckhead Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at Phipps Plaza.
She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign lap-dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter dream house with a water feature in front. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic ex-husband Ken comes with a Porsche.
Chamblee Barbie
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar mini-van and matching gym suit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately. Can swear in English, Spanish, Chinese, Korean or Vietnamese, but she's not sure which is which. Available at Target.
Hapeville Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm
handgun, bowie knife, a '78 El Camino with dark tinted
windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is only
available after dark and can only be bought with
cash, preferably small bills, unless you are a cop,
then we don't know what you are talking about.
Dunwoody Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW
convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own
Starbucks cup, credit card set, and country club
membership. Also available are Shallow Ken and
Spanish-speaking Nanny. Dunwoody Barbie hasn't been
affordable since the early 80's.
Jonesboro Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler
jeans two sizes too small,a classic Metallica shirt,
and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. Wants to major
in NASCAR at Clayton State College. She has a six-pack
of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She
can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass
when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck
separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker
absolutely free. Available at Southlake Mall.
Conyers Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a
pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken
heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of
Jonesboro Barbie's (discontinued) house. Her
ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake
fingernails, strawberry lip gloss, and a see-through
halter top. Comes with Barbie's dream double wide
trailer. Available at Wal-Mart. Cheap.
Kennesaw Barbie
This collagen-injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears
leopard print spandex and drinks cosmopolitans to new
age music with friends at the lodge. Into crystals.
Comes with Percocet prescription and botox. Also
cheap.
College Park Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant
doll. Optional accessories include a G.E.D. and bus
pass to Kennesaw State University. Gangsta Ken and his
'79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult
to find since the addition of the infant doll.
Decatur Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long
straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no
makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers
that you call her "Willow." She does not want or need
a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Decatur Barbies
and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag
sticker free.
Alpharetta Barbie
Pregnant at purchase, Alpharetta Barbie drives a
new Ford Excursion and is perfect in every way. We
don't know who Ken is because he's always away hunting
or in Japan on business. Alpharetta Barbie aspires to
become Buckhead Barbie. Not cheap, but still very
naive.
Smyrna Barbie
Into football, animals and bonfires. 98% belong to
a cult, 2% are freethinking and void of any
"traditions." Does nothing but complain about Midtown Barbie/Ken.
Buford Barbie
This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984
Toyota with expired temporary plates and three babies
in the back, without car seats. This is the only
Barbie willing to do manual labor. Ken comes in a
meat-packer's uniform and is missing three fingers on
his left hand. Green cards are not yet available for
Buford Barbie or Ken. Available only at Value City.
Midtown Barbie/Ken
This versatile doll can be easily converted from
Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the
"snap-on" parts. Likes to "experiment." Doesn't
understand why Smyrna Barbie complains so much.
2nd Version
Buckhead Barbie - this pretentious bitch Barbie is only sold at Phipps
Plaza, she comes with Kenneth Cole 4 inch clunky shoes (actual size), an
assortment of real Kate Spade handbags, a take-out box from the
Cheesecake Factory and a mini BMW convertible. Options include the
Buckhead Nightclub Barbie which comes with a mini 9mm handgun, a Ray
Lewis knife and cruises Peachtree until 4:00 am.
Dunwoody Barbie - this trendy homemaker Barbie is available with the
mini-SUV or mini-minivan vehicles, gets lost easily, and has no fulltime
occupation or secondary education. Available and usually confused at
Perimeter Mall locations. Also available to have discrete affairs with
Ken's friends and coworkers. Traffic jamming' cell phone sold separately.
Doraville Barbie - this Barbie comes in a silk Kimono, speaks broken
English but is fluent in 7 computer programming languages, has 3 college
degrees, and is only sold in Buford Highway stores.
Tucker Barbie - this special white-trash model comes in Wrangler jeans
that are 2 sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, big hair, a mini Coors Light
in the can, a Hank Jr. CD set, can spit over 5 feet, and she can kick
Ken's ass when she's drunk. A mini pickup is also available with Rebel
flag bumper stickers and the former Georgia Flag a flyin'.
Midtown Barbie - this model features Ken in a sequined cocktail dress,
breast implants, press-on nails, and a really really bad wig. Details
include a to-go cup from Backstreet, a rainbow scarf, and a CD box set
featuring Judy Garland, Billie Holiday and assorted big show tunes.
Decatur Barbie - this Barbie model is sold in Ken's clothes, features
hairy armpits, tattoos, and a mini CD set from the Indigo Girls and KD
Lang. A special limited edition militant penis-hating Lillith Fair model
is also available.
L5P Barbie - this Barbie model features non-functional 10-inch platforms,
over 12 body piercings, 14 tattoos, a purple-green hair color, smells
like an athlete, has no occupation, and is waiting on the curb at the
Yacht Club for the Dunwoody Barbie to return and pick her up.
College Park Barbie - this thick Barbie comes with 4-inch long
airbrushedcurved nails, a blonde hair weave, excessive gold jewelry and
caps, bling-bling, and is also available with the 'Lil Kim SUV with
automatic weapons. Miniature Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes house burning lighter
set sold separately.
East Atlanta Barbie - this Barbie was previously a crack Ho Barbie, but
was recently displaced by a new 25 to 30-year old Barbie that is actually
a $80K/year Yuppie masquerading as a down/out artsy Barbie. Comes with a
full black wardrobe from second hand stores.
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formerly*~*Angeblue*~*
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gotta love our city haha
