A guy goes to a supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde waves at him and says hello.

He's rather taken back, because he can't place where he knows her from, so he says, "Do you know me?" to which she replies "I think you're the father of one of my kids". Now he thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My goodness, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my ass with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my butt?"

She says, "No, I'm your sons English teacher."

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Too old for this shit. But still luvin it

hijack joke:

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad".
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad... she's pregnant. Joan said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for us and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren. Your son, Chad.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home

i have heard those before, although the second one was a young girl writing to her mother but exactly the same story and punchline.

quote:

Originally posted by Teflon_Teapot i have heard those before, although the second one was a young girl writing to her mother but exactly the same story and punchline.

so she eloped with her girlfriend too?

wao.
thats hot

hahaha that was cooool

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Too old for this shit. But still luvin it

haha cheesy, but it passes !

haha, pretty funny! lol!

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lol

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Haha nice one.

why can't you eat soup in the matrix?


because there is no spoon...

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new set online, Summer Journeys