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See the edit button at the bottom of your post? You should make a long and good friendship with it, because it can be there when you most need it.
Anyway, on the music:
Your opening is too repetitive. You could cut a lot of that out and not have the song lose anything.
Your build-up to 5:46 is great, but you quickly lost a lot of the energy you had. You should put in some fast power chords in there or something.
That ending seemed kind of sudden. It works fine with the mood of the song, but I didn't like it.
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