Ya, for the past 9 days (since last wednesday) i was in a mental hospital for adolescents. All hours of the day; sleep, wake, dinner, berakfast, all the time, 24 hours a day. It started last wednesday when my art teacher was concerned about some things i write in a journal that i turned into him. Lots of it dealt with suicide (which i've secretly once attempted sometime in August) and hurting others. I felt very scared going in, because i was going in without ANYONE'S consent but the school's. I was pulled out in the middle of school in a cop car and sent straight to Mesa Vista Hosptial in San Diego.
When i first got there, i was like O DAMN. You can't operate ANYTHING without keys. You can't even press your Floor on the elevator without a key. I was SUPPOSED to stay for only 3 day evaluation, but after getting on medications (prozac and seroquil), i had to stay THIS long, 9 days.
All throughout the day was full of ways of helping myself. We had different counselors each day. How to change my ways of thinking, bla bla bla. I filled up mostly on eggs and apple juice. My room was pretty BASIC. Bed, sheets, desk. My roommate was pretty wild. 2 nites ago he tore up ALL the room, including throwing down birthday cards i lay on my desk brought from my mom.
Overall, it was VERY good for me. My self esteem is WAY higher, i'm learning to express my emotions physically and how to speak confidently. I've stopped thinking about hurting ANYONE, and i'm starting to learn about faith and religion, etc.

well, i guess i just want to say i'm loving life more than i ever have. I went in crazy, but now i'm sane and i love it. i love being able to know what love is. lalalalalalala

well, DJSlain never says NOTHING about music.
My tunes if you are depressed:
Paul Van Dyk - Vega (Starecase remix)
Cyclone - Solabre
Jose Amnesia - The Eternal
Thrillseekers - Synaesthesia (paul van dyk remix)
add your own if you want to respond...
also
has there been any good tracks in the last week?

love you all.

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Thank You and Goodnight

i respect you for that post, that was cool.
now its time to disco a go go!

awwwwww...you know, this is the main reason i love TA..., you can open yourself for people who treat you like family... im very proud of you for getting over this phase of your life and glad to know that you see things better now...


hope everything goes well from this time on...and...
just remember if you need to talk...you know where to find me...



xoxo Ur Dream Grl

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" when you are in love...it doesnt matter whats happening out there.. ' cause everything is happening inside of you "

hope youre doin alright and san diego rules, dont it??

you shoudl seriously count your blessings you were only held up for 9 days on an involuntary basis.

back when i was 15ish, i had been going through a few years of suicidal dealings, had attempted it a few times, blah blah. parents never knew. after they found out, some shit went down and i ended up being hauled away on an stretcher from my house and put in a little facility.

i was given two choices. voluntarily commit myself and i could leave pretty much "whenever", or if i chose not to do that, and they forcefully committed me, i was told it was 6 months, minimum.

now, i was 15.. if you are over 18 the rules might be a little bit different.. but yea. been there, know how you are feeling.

(for the record, i went voluntarily, spent a week in the "psych ward" of a hospital, bs'ed my way out of it. its been many many years so im not like that anymore, but yea.)

I have to give props to anyone dealing with anything like this. I feel i have been blessed to avoid hardcore stuff like this! the shittiest thing about mental institutions in the US, or just about anywhere, is WHO is to say who is sane? I think that you should count your blessings on the fact you only had 9 days in there! Respect for moving on! and I hope things are better for you in future! you can have support here if need be, but support yourself with those that love you and i believe that things will be ok! it took a lot of courage to say those things here and much respect! I think that everyone has had bad times and wondered if anyone actually cares about them, but know this, no matter what you think, there are people out there that think the world of you no matter who you are and that succeeding in life is worth something, if not for them, but also for yourself! keep trying, life is a struggle, and trance is just one of the many ways you can help yourself and others thru this! haha...late/

I've been suicidal, and when i confided in a friend she told a guidance counsellor at school. I had to go to a psychiatrist once a week for a year, and take some weird pills. The funny thing is, I only got a new perspective on life when I stopped taking the pills. Now I live life to the fullest, and I'm happy 90% of the time.

Much respect for your post, it takes a lot to be able to share that type of thing sometimes.

It takes not only a lot but really A BIG BIG lot of courage to post such a message . Well first of all i'm very happy for u if u feel that ur living happily with no problems . I think we all have difficult moments in our life , i can even tell you that right now i'm experiencing my hardest period and i try to deal with it . But sometimes it's just too much and u can't handle things . Anyways i hope everything is ok now and that u enjoy life the way u should enjoy it , courage bro and don't hesitate if u want to talk .
from ur friend Taha

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"A style that's impossible to define. Prog? Hardly. Tech house? Not boring enough. It's like trippy twisted acid house but deep and funky. See, I told you - impossible."

I think we all went through (or going) that stage..i'm 17 so i'm probaly still going but not as bad anymore. I started skating and since you live in san diego you should too or probaly already. Its great, if you accomplished something (ummmm not that much in a day) you would feel proud also if you like getting hurt then you can do some crazy shit cause then that means you have no fear. Well anyways glad to see they didnt put you in there for so long or else you'll really go crazy. Kinda ironic though, people go crazy because they're in the mental hospitals. i hope you get better now. Peace

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man, glad u're better now....damn, there's help out there when ppl need it, glad u utilized it....and keep the spirits high

u be well, dj slain!

>JM<

Actually I started gang bangin' to get me through that period of my life. Of course it was all good at the time slangin crack rock and gettin shot at every other day but then it got tired so i cut myself outta that game.

quote:

Originally posted by djSlain Ya, for the past 9 days (since last wednesday) i was in a mental hospital for adolescents. All hours of the day; sleep, wake, dinner, berakfast, all the time, 24 hours a day. It started last wednesday when my art teacher was concerned about some things i write in a journal that i turned into him. Lots of it dealt with suicide (which i've secretly once attempted sometime in August) and hurting others. I felt very scared going in, because i was going in without ANYONE'S consent but the school's. I was pulled out in the middle of school in a cop car and sent straight to Mesa Vista Hosptial in San Diego. When i first got there, i was like O DAMN. You can't operate ANYTHING without keys. You can't even press your Floor on the elevator without a key. I was SUPPOSED to stay for only 3 day evaluation, but after getting on medications (prozac and seroquil), i had to stay THIS long, 9 days. All throughout the day was full of ways of helping myself. We had different counselors each day. How to change my ways of thinking, bla bla bla. I filled up mostly on eggs and apple juice. My room was pretty BASIC. Bed, sheets, desk. My roommate was pretty wild. 2 nites ago he tore up ALL the room, including throwing down birthday cards i lay on my desk brought from my mom. Overall, it was VERY good for me. My self esteem is WAY higher, i'm learning to express my emotions physically and how to speak confidently. I've stopped thinking about hurting ANYONE, and i'm starting to learn about faith and religion, etc. well, i guess i just want to say i'm loving life more than i ever have. I went in crazy, but now i'm sane and i love it. i love being able to know what love is. lalalalalalala well, DJSlain never says NOTHING about music. My tunes if you are depressed: Paul Van Dyk - Vega (Starecase remix) Cyclone - Solabre Jose Amnesia - The Eternal Thrillseekers - Synaesthesia (paul van dyk remix) add your own if you want to respond... also has there been any good tracks in the last week? love you all.

Glad to see you're still alive and kicking! :P :P Anyhow, I'm wondering if you're bipolar? And Seroquel??!!! What in blazes! That's antipsychotic drug for schizoprenic symptons!!

Well, do the best you can to wean yourself off those drugs.. Sero is potent but got those wicked side effects, with no long-term studies pass, I believe, 6 months!! Agh But you probably know all this already.. If you don't, make sure you do..

Anyways, keep the faith and may you be bless with love..


Peace to All

Last edited by u4ea:[soulstar] on Oct-21-2001 at 07:39