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The opening effect sounds really nice.
Once the bass kicks in though, it really gets a bit lost. The bass isnt strong enough, or accented enough. THis should be a source of high energy, but mostly serves as background noise here.
Drum could be a bit more varied. make more breaks, or longer varying drum patterns to add a bit of interest.
Add more than one thing at once! Often your patterns only add a drum sound or one instrument at a time. Dont be afraid of people losing your sounds!
Main melody: I like the sound, but it needs to have more layers to it. The notation seems a little bit off here, but I think it can work.
Pad: If it came in before 2:00 I didnt notice it. Its not strong enough and also sounds kind of monotonous. Add some more layers and some more effects and you could have a nice pad there. The notation seems ok.
2:58: I really like this part. the sound is weird, and needs to be stronger/more layers but I think the pattern and notation works. The drum roll out of this is excellently done (you just need new drum sounds, I think)
Overall, this is an ok concept and still sounds amateurish. Still, it's better than what I throw together, and I think this could have some nice potential with some layering, effects, and variance. I think this is a pretty good job overall.
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