Who is Jack Schitt?



For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!"



Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.



Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.



In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced seven children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, Eat Schitt and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.



Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.



Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.



Eat Schitt married Anne Dye. They produce a daughter, and Eat Schitt named her after his mother -Noe Phucking Schitt. Two of the other seven children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.



The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.



Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.



Sincerely,

Crock O. Schitt

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DALLAS STAR ™ °¤§£¤y°

Treat people as if they are what they ought to be and you may help them to become what they are capable of being.

Who is Jack?

In the beginning, there was Jack, and Jack had a groove.
And from this groove came the groove of all grooves.
And while one day viciously throwing down on his box, Jack boldy declared,
"Let there be house!" and house music was born.

I am, you see,
I am the creator, and this is my house!
And, in my house there is only house music. But, I am not so
selfish because once you enter my house it then becomes OUR house and
OUR house music!" And, you see, no one can own house because
house music is a universal language, spoken and understood by all.

You see, house is a feeling that no one can understand really unless
you're deep into the vibe of house. House is an uncontrollable
desire to jack your body. And, as I told you before, this is
our house and our house music. And in every house, you
understand, there is a keeper. And, in this house, the keeper
is Jack. Now some of you who might wonder.

Who is Jack, and what is it that Jack does?

Jack is the one who gives you the power to jack your body!
Jack is the one who gives you the power to do the snake.
Jack is the one who gives you the key to the wiggly worm.
Jack is the one who learns you how to walk your body.
Jack is the one that can bring nations and nations of all
Jackers together under one house.

You may be black, you may be white; you may be Jew or Gentile.
It don't make a difference in our House.

And this is fresh!

___________________

quote:

Originally posted by jester Everything in this country is illegal.

"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery…" Winston Churchill

‎"If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law" - Winston Churchill

quote:

Originally posted by Jayx1 Who is Jack? In the beginning, there was Jack, and Jack had a groove. And from this groove came the groove of all grooves. And while one day viciously throwing down on his box, Jack boldy declared, "Let there be house!" and house music was born. I am, you see, I am the creator, and this is my house! And, in my house there is only house music. But, I am not so selfish because once you enter my house it then becomes OUR house and OUR house music!" And, you see, no one can own house because house music is a universal language, spoken and understood by all. You see, house is a feeling that no one can understand really unless you're deep into the vibe of house. House is an uncontrollable desire to jack your body. And, as I told you before, this is our house and our house music. And in every house, you understand, there is a keeper. And, in this house, the keeper is Jack. Now some of you who might wonder. Who is Jack, and what is it that Jack does? Jack is the one who gives you the power to jack your body! Jack is the one who gives you the power to do the snake. Jack is the one who gives you the key to the wiggly worm. Jack is the one who learns you how to walk your body. Jack is the one that can bring nations and nations of all Jackers together under one house. You may be black, you may be white; you may be Jew or Gentile. It don't make a difference in our House. And this is fresh!

___________________
DALLAS STAR ™ °¤§£¤y°

Treat people as if they are what they ought to be and you may help them to become what they are capable of being.

quote:

Originally posted by dallastar

+1!!!!!!!

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"Like a song everlasting, time dances on."
"So while you struggle to catch the rhythm with your feet, ask yourself..can u really DANCE2MABEAT"

I know a Jack, he's the crickety craic.

___________________
"Everybody get together and feel alright!"

Robert Nesta Marley

You guys don't know Jack's speech?

Damn! You need some music schoolin!!!

___________________

quote:

Originally posted by jester Everything in this country is illegal.

"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery…" Winston Churchill

‎"If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law" - Winston Churchill

i am jack's anger.

I love this thread!

Caroline Jack (yes, my married last name is Jack)

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"WEMF is...." and I can't remember the rest because I didn't write it down.
- Blackness at WEMF 2007

old n00b!!

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insignificant cor member alliance

it's all about the Jack! I new you would love this one muzzy bear!
great line cuzo! what ever do you mean StereoPrincess>??

___________________
DALLAS STAR ™ °¤§£¤y°

Treat people as if they are what they ought to be and you may help them to become what they are capable of being.