the Simpsons - strange things Happenin' at the Alter!
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Dramatic twist at the altar
By JOE FRIESEN
Monday, February 21, 2005
Updated at 3:48 PM EST
Prime time's most anticipated same-sex wedding fell apart last night as the first character to come out of the closet on The Simpsons discovered she was marrying a man in drag.
The dramatic twist left Patti Bouvier, one of Marge Simpson's husky-voiced twin sisters, alone at the altar. She was the odds-on favourite among Simpsons watchers to become the first openly gay character on the show.
In last night's episode, Patti was engaged to a man who had disguised himself as a woman in order to play on the LPGA tour. "Veronica," as the man called himself, was found out by Marge, who spotted her would-be sister-in-law lifting the toilet seat and singing, "Dude looks like a lady" while shaving.
At the crucial moment when guests are asked to speak now or forever hold their peace, Marge tore Veronica's dress at the neck, revealing a large Adam's apple.
When "Veronica" explained that he still loved Patti and that the deception was purely for the sake of his career, he proposed again.
She rejected him, saying, "Hell no! I like girls."
The show dealt with many of the contentious issues that have sprung up around the same-sex marriage debate.
The city of Springfield decided to legalize same-sex marriage in order to boost tourism in the city. Lisa Simpson suggested the idea, saying "We can attract a growing segment of the marriage market and strike a blow for civil rights." Couples soon began flocking to the Li'l Chapel erected in the Simpsons' garage.
Homer had renounced his views on the issue by throwing his "Death Before Gay Marriage" placard in a trash can and getting a quick ordainment from a website.
He embraced the new wedding industry and even appeared on local late-night television to debate the philosophical implications of same-sex weddings with Reverend Lovejoy. "If you love the Bible so much, why don't you marry it?" Homer asked.
Homer performed the first same-sex marriage for Julio and Thad, whose union he pronounced legal in "Massachusetts, Vermont, maybe Canada, stay out of Texas . . ."
Patti broke the news of her engagement by telling Marge, "I'm marrying a woman. I'm gay."
Marge struggled at first to come to terms with her sister's revelation, but eventually came around.
"I've learned a lesson," she said. "Just because you're a lesbian doesn't mean you're less of a being."
© Copyright 2005 Bell Globemedia Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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This article was in the G&M today - I just thought i would share! 
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Nathan Fake - Outhouse (Valentino Kanzyani Remix) 
