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vikingnaya
tranceaddict in training



Registered: Nov 2001
Location: St.Louis(sigh...)
Talking Three Chinese Torture

well, I guess this is a fairly popular jokes, but I will post it again anyway. It cracks me up everytime i see it.


A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small house. Knocking on the door he is greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long gray beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"OK," said the man, and entered the house. Over dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him durng the meal. Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone.

During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 1...Large rock on chest."

"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about."

He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2...Rock tied to left testicle."

In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration he, jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted towards the ground he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3... Right testicle tied to bed post."

Old Post Nov-17-2001 07:17  Taiwan
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TranceFusion
CaffeinËaddict



Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Chandler, Arizona [ASU]
Hello!

*cringing* Thats one funny ass tourture....ohhhh man


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Old Post Nov-17-2001 08:32  United States
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Kevin
Senior tranceaddict



Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Tucson, AZ

LOL That was GREAT! Thanks!

Kev

Old Post Nov-17-2001 23:17  United States
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Ur Dream Grl
The Lizard Lady



Registered: Jun 2001
Location: Ft. lauderdale (USA)



oh my god.. I can feel the pain on you Men.. heheheh

poor guy!

xoxo Ur Dream Grl


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Old Post Nov-17-2001 23:24  Brazil
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Mark
FreewayENT



Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Vancouver, BC
Re: Three Chinese Torture

quote:
Originally posted by vikingnaya
well, I guess this is a fairly popular jokes, but I will post it again anyway. It cracks me up everytime i see it.


A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small house. Knocking on the door he is greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long gray beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"OK," said the man, and entered the house. Over dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him durng the meal. Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone.

During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 1...Large rock on chest."

"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about."

He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2...Rock tied to left testicle."

In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration he, jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted towards the ground he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3... Right testicle tied to bed post."


LOL a friend of mine told me this one way back in high school. its nice to hear/read it again LOL

nice post


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Old Post Nov-18-2001 04:20  Canada
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JM
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Dec 2000
Location: Seattle, USA

aaahhhh dammit!!! i imagined it all as i was reading it

>JM<

Old Post Nov-18-2001 09:05  United States
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Flippe
Snap jij het wel ?



Registered: Sep 2001
Location: Asten, Netherlands

Already knewm this one!


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Old Post Nov-18-2001 11:06  Netherlands
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OrZonE
Sp'ik'ars aDDicT



Registered: Nov 2001
Location: NY - Toronto, Canada
Talking HEHEHE

Amazing Joke!!!
I really felt the humor in this one .
Good work, thnks m8!

Old Post Nov-22-2001 04:21  Russia
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Linx_da_cat
trancEaddict kitkat



Registered: Mar 2001
Location: in a nutshell

lolz. i thought i was the only one who ever heard this joke!!! OMG. you made my day. hehehe.

Old Post Nov-22-2001 22:18 
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grafal
Marijuan[a]ddict



Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Guelph, Ontario
Talking LOL

That is an amazing friggen joke!


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Old Post Nov-23-2001 00:45  Poland
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lMIlk
Moderat0r



Registered: Aug 2001
Location: super size fries

hahah i've heard that one before but i still love it

Old Post Nov-23-2001 01:12  United States
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.montecarlo.
. i n v o l v e r .



Registered: Jun 2001
Location: Vancouver, BC Former SN: InsomnEac

OUCHHHHH

i'll remember this in case i'm ever in a similar situation hehehe

Old Post Nov-23-2001 01:42  Canada
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TranceAddict Forums > Archives > Classic old threads / Inactive Forums > Retired Forums > Humour / Funny Stuff / Cool Web Sites > Three Chinese Torture
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