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You know you're in love when:
- You instinctively leave the toilet seat down every time you use your own loo
- You begin to think that she's actually "kinda cute" when she starts yelling at you......
- You get this warm tingly feeling in your chest...... though it could just be that you're having a heart attack, so be careful.
- You begin to spend more money on gifts for her than you do on food to sustain your own existence
- You begin to wonder whether that wild sex orgy you had with those Taiwanese prostitutes 3 months into your relationship was really for the best
- The thoughts of marriage are no longer accompanied by fits of cold sweating and nausea
- You genuinely believe you have the perfect response ready made to the question "do you think I'm fat?"
- You start ironing your clothes (amazing but true)
- Long sleepless nights thinking about whether Gwenyth Paltrow "puts out" become less and less frequent
- Foreplay becomes more than just the drunken slurring of "open up, baby, I'm coming in!"
- All you want to do is lie in her arms, listening to her heart beat as to talk deeply and honestly about what you're both feeling........ that and to kick the living shit out of all her ex-boyfriends
- You bore everyone you know senseless by talking about her incessantly, without even having the decency to bring up the topic of "how she likes it"
- You actually know "how she likes it"
- You start to appreciate the grander things in life, stop to smell the roses and find yourself admiring the beauty of sunsets and kittens and the like, finding beauty and majesty all that surrounds you - and you no longer limit yourself to just admiring "the rack on that chick who works at Autobarn"
But, most importantly:
- You stop spending time with any of your bloody friends!
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