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RenderedDream
what should i put here?



Registered: Dec 2001
Location: Aveiro
What really is infidelity?

Wanting/desiring someone or actually just the act?


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Old Post Nov-10-2005 20:00  Portugal
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LuNaSeA
presque rien



Registered: Apr 2002
Location: Madison, Wisconsin

i think if infidelity were defined by solely the desire and not the act, then basically the entire world (minus preteens and under) have committed infidelity. to desire/covet is human nature.


some people say "intentionality is everything" but i disagree. thinking something and actually doing it is completely different. (how many times have you thought about the exact way you'd murder your 6th grade substitute? exactly.)


when the thought comes to fruition, then i think yes, the actual deed is then deemed adulterous.


now My question is... what act is considered infidelity? obviously this does not include oral sex or intercourse or generally making out/feeling another person up. but what if you have a long time friend that you just peck on the lips once in a while? or what if you french kissed a friend and it meant absolutely nothing to either of you but u both thought it was innocent fun? (plausible? i duno). or what if you have a friend that you have the most *intimate* conversations with, conversations that includes thoughts (not sexual but still intimate) that not even your partner knows about? might that be considered any sort of infidelity?


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Old Post Nov-10-2005 20:09  Italy
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Xenocreator_PG_
Got goat?



Registered: Jul 2004
Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: ERROR!

Infedelity is when yo momma cheets on your pappa with another man; & the other man puts his penis into yo mommas pooper & she yells "OMGoat it feels like im doing a big pooh!".


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Old Post Nov-10-2005 20:11 
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lücid
electric girl



Registered: Aug 2003
Location: NY

in·fi·del·i·ty Pronunciation Key (nf-dl-t)
n. pl. in·fi·del·i·ties

1. Unfaithfulness to a sexual partner, especially a spouse.
2. An act of sexual unfaithfulness.
2. Lack of fidelity or loyalty.
3. Lack of religious belief.


imo, infidelity is just a fancy way of saying cheating... and cheating in my eyes is doing anything that your partner would not approve of. it can be as extreme as fucking another person, or something that may seem "innocent" like hiding an online relationship.

the way i see it, if i do something that i would feel uncomfortable admitting to my boyfriend, that's infidelity.


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Old Post Nov-10-2005 20:15 
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Moral Hazard
Oppressing the 99%



Registered: Mar 2005
Location: with the 1%

quote:
Originally posted by lücid
in·fi·del·i·ty Pronunciation Key (nf-dl-t)
n. pl. in·fi·del·i·ties

1. Unfaithfulness to a sexual partner, especially a spouse.
2. An act of sexual unfaithfulness.
2. Lack of fidelity or loyalty.
3. Lack of religious belief.


imo, infidelity is just a fancy way of saying cheating... and cheating in my eyes is doing anything that your partner would not approve of. it can be as extreme as fucking another person, or something that may seem "innocent" like hiding an online relationship.

the way i see it, if i do something that i would feel uncomfortable admitting to my boyfriend, that's infidelity.


In infidelity can also mean the abuse of a fiduciary relationship.... if your stock broker embessels your money he has committed an infidelity.


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Old Post Nov-10-2005 20:17  Canada
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FallingMoon
techno two step



Registered: Feb 2004
Location:

3. Lack of religious belief.

I didn't like that.

Being an infidel is something bad, now it makes me bad because I am agnostic?


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Old Post Nov-10-2005 20:28 
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Allied Nations
Make it happen cap'n



Registered: Mar 2004
Location: MTHELL

Dashboard Confessional - Screaming infidelities


/emo


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Old Post Nov-10-2005 20:32 
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LuNaSeA
presque rien



Registered: Apr 2002
Location: Madison, Wisconsin

quote:
Originally posted by lücid
and cheating in my eyes is doing anything that your partner would not approve of.



are you saying the definition of infidelity/cheating changes according to your current partner? i personally think it's a compromise between your own beliefs and the beliefs of ur partner. i think our intents are to never intentionally hurt our partners but there has to be some common ground especially if u disagree upon certain things- for instance, i came from a relationship where any friendship i had with a guy was looked upon with scorn, suspicion and jealousy. he never approved of me being friends with guys but i wasn't about to give that up just bc it made him feel insecure for whatever reason.


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Old Post Nov-10-2005 20:35  Italy
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lücid
electric girl



Registered: Aug 2003
Location: NY

quote:
Originally posted by LuNaSeA
are you saying the definition of infidelity/cheating changes according to your current partner? i personally think it's a compromise between your own beliefs and the beliefs of ur partner. i think our intents are to never intentionally hurt our partners but there has to be some common ground especially if u disagree upon certain things- for instance, i came from a relationship where any friendship i had with a guy was looked upon with scorn, suspicion and jealousy. he never approved of me being friends with guys but i wasn't about to give that up just bc it made him feel insecure for whatever reason.

sorry, i should have worded that differently... i just meant "your partner" in general, taking into account the beliefs that you and your partner have.

i dunno, in my relationships it's always been pretty straight-forward and understandable about what "cheating" is... i've never really had a clash of beliefs, other than an ex-bf who freaked out about any guy friend i had. in that case it's tricky because people just don't change their opinion about that kind of stuff overnight. you're either secure enough to deal with your partner having friends of the opposite sex, or you're not. so what's the correct way to handle it? do you dump them just because they're insecure? do you lie about having guy friends just so there won't be a fight? do you do it anyway and make it obvious and hope that eventually they'll become comfortable with the idea? it seemed like in my case there was never an easy compromise.


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Old Post Nov-10-2005 21:04 
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DjConfessions
Senior tranceaddict



Registered: Jun 2005
Location: Jamesfranco, France

its the point where u tell ur one and only, "hey i love u." from there on, its a mutual agreement that the feelings are exclusive. Sure u, as a male and the dominant sex on the planet, are going to be tempted to think about other women. but just rememember, the woman can always take HALF!


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quote:
...known from a videotape the two made when they met in March... in Dresdens home, Dresden amputated Gabriels penis and Dresden and Gabriel ate the penis together...Gabriel had insisted that Dresden bite his penis off; this did not work.. Dresden used a knife. When that knife turned out to be too blunt, Dresden used a sharper knife to slice the penis off. Gabriel apparently tried to eat his share of his own penis..but could not because it was too..."chewy". Dresden then sautéed the penis in a pan with salt, pepper, and garlic.

Old Post Nov-10-2005 21:11  Canada
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Turbonium
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Jan 2003
Location: Toronto

crappy speakers.

Old Post Nov-10-2005 21:45  Canada
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Arbiter
Naked Power Organ



Registered: May 2002
Location:

quote:
Originally posted by FallingMoon
3. Lack of religious belief.

I didn't like that.

Being an infidel is something bad, now it makes me bad because I am agnostic?


in·fi·del
n.
1. An unbeliever with respect to a particular religion, especially Christianity or Islam.
2. One who has no religious beliefs.
3. One who doubts or rejects a particular doctrine, system, or principle.

Now if that's bad, one must really question the worth of being good!

Old Post Nov-10-2005 22:35 
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