Oh hooray folks, it is that time of year again!

AUTO SHOW TIME!

This is the time of year where my pants get tight and my mouth salivates with wonder and also desire and also sometimes if theres tasty food around... Uh, cars.

I feel it is my duty as the resident Car Shithead, to inform each and every one of you about wondrously useless vehicles to come forth from each automaker's virtual loins and into your driveways on the 9th of never! So here it comes, vehicle name, pic, and retarded description or opinion.


2007 Chrysler Aspen

What in the unholy christ is this monstrosity? Oh good, another useless 8-passenger SUV that does nothing that a minivan can't do better except tow boats or houses or dinosaurs or whatever people tow these days with SUVs. Can we say run-on sentence?


2007 Dodge Caliber

Dodge went from the Neon, to this? What? No seriously, what? This is the Neon/SX 2.0 replacement. Another borefest compact from Dodge.


2009 Chevrolet Camaro concept

Hello beautiful! With rumoured 400bhp from Chevy's LS2 V8 cranking the rear wheels to and fro, it's been confirmed for a 2009 production run.


Kia Soul concept

Soul? Kia? Korea? More like Seoul, eh? Heh heh, alllllriiiiiight.


2007 Nissan Sentra

Slated for production to replace the current Sentra, which is at best about exciting as a box of Corn Flakes. This new model looks like a Cadillac CTS got a bit drunk and then had its way with a Maxima and this is their baby with fetal alcohol syndrome. Quite the improvement, however.


Subaru B5-TPH

Subaru all-wheel-drive and a crazy hybrid drive system, making 40mpg (some 6.5L/100km I'd wager). Wierd as all hell but looks soooo production ready, save for those blue-hued headlight housings.


200whatever Ferrari 599GTB

This is the 575 Maranello replacement. Thank you Pininfarina, you've designed the sexiest Ferrari to date. This was rumoured to be named the 600 Imola, which in my opinion is of many magnitudes better than "599GTB" which sounds like some horrible Chinese car made by Geely ---- oh wait. Anyway, hot as hell, 6-litre V12, 620bhp, but goddammit, Imola sounds so much better. Say it to yourself. Imola. Yeah, again. Imola. Let it roll off your tongue. I M O L A. I know you're doing it.


2007 Toyota Camry

quote:

bor·ing (bôrng, br-) adj. 1) Uninteresting and tiresome; dull. 2) Toyota Camry.

That is all.


Volvo C30

YES. I've got a thing for hatchbacks, and I'm loving this resurgence into the North American market with premium European hatches (see: Audi A3, this thing, soon-to-be BMW 1-Series). RJ, get one of these things. 260bhp and 256lb-ft torque out of Volvo's turbo inline-5. 6-spd manual. No word on driveline, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's a Haldex AWD system like other recent AWD Volvos.



So there you have it, just a small sampling of some stuff you'll be seeing on the roads in the near future.

Now back to your regularly scheduled doldrums.

Last edited by VERTiG0 on Jan-10-2006 at 07:23

another ugly ass Lexus, someone should shoot their designer.


Ford concept,... the horror.


Another Ford concept, looks like a bad ass mofo truck... but it won't go into production.


Ford Edge, not bad,looks like an egg.


Mazda Kabab... not bad

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quote:

Originally posted by malek another ugly ass Lexus, someone should shoot their designer.

LS460L. 8-spd automatic. Parks itself. 19 speaker Mark Levinson stereo. Lexus has managed to out S-Class the S-Class.

Take that, Benzo.

it could have 34 speeds for all that I care... its still an ugly ass Lexus/Toyota.

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quote:

Originally posted by malek it could have 34 speeds for all that I care... its still an ugly ass Lexus/Toyota.

But you know it'll last forever and drive like a dream even after 200,000 kilometres and 15 years.

quote:

Originally posted by VERTiG0 But you know it'll last forever and drive like a dream even after 200,000 kilometres and 15 years.

cars are about feelings, the image they project... not their durability.

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I agree with both of you, yes its got great features, and yes its still a toyota. But trust me, most LS buyers wont keep their car for anywhere close to 200k kms or 15 years. I would say about 3 years. Given the Lexus or Benz, I would go for the Flying Spur!!! hahhaaha

btw, have you seen this?

http://www.porsche.com/uk/models/ca...ayenne-turbo-s/

Cayenne Turbo S

521 hp!!! When will this madness end!

Last edited by 4-play on Jan-10-2006 at 07:44

its for the cheap ass rich who can afford a great car, but will go for the totoya/lexus because it will last

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quote:

Originally posted by 4-play btw, have you seen this? http://www.porsche.com/filestore.aspx/normal.jpg?pool=germany&type=galleryimage&id=30bd2105-8a4b-4246-807a-94a8791ecde4&lang=none&filetype=normal Cayenne Turbo S 521 hp!!! When will this madness end!

No idea Fuad, but the Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8 is just about as fast and is like 1/3rd the price.

quote:

Originally posted by VERTiG0 No idea Fuad, but the Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8 is just about as fast and is like 1/3rd the price.

I've heard people say that. And have read about it too. Not bad for a Jeep. But then again, 'there is no substitute'. How are the handling characteristics of the SRT 8?

quote:

Originally posted by 4-play How are the handling characteristics of the SRT 8?

It's a Jeep. Piss-poor, I'd imagine.

Also huge at Jeep for ruining their own rep with the Compass and Patriot or whatever, great, a FWD 4-cyl piece of shit take on the Rubicon Trail? Laffo.

quote:

Originally posted by VERTiG0 It's a Jeep. Piss-poor, I'd imagine. Also huge at Jeep for ruining their own rep with the Compass and Patriot or whatever, great, a FWD 4-cyl piece of shit take on the Rubicon Trail? Laffo.

hahhahaa..yea..i was a bit suprised at the direction they took to on those models. Like the commander is'nt bad enough.