ok....I am sharing with you guys something VERY personal....VERY....

ok well...some of you might remember me dating a girl over the summer who i was madly in love with, then she left me...those who helped me...thanks again....BUT...she called me this afternoon and said she has to tell me something....so i am like ok...

So she tells me that while we were dating she had sex with another guy.....ok this in itself broke my heart...but thats not what this is about.....she tells me, that this guy told her, that he had slept with a girl i know who has HIV.....and they had unprotected sex...

So that means my ex-girl might have it...and inturn i might also....
So i rushed my self after she told me to my doctor...and he said that since the last time i was with her was 3 months ago that taking a test would tell me if i positive or negative..and be accurate...

I am completely scared out of my fucking mind right now...i dont think i have EVER been this scared in my life.....i dont know what to do if i have HIV...i am really scared....like crying scared.....

My doctor said the results will be in by next Wednesday or Thursday...i am going to be a wreck for a week...then when my results come in i am going to be worse...the day i walk into his office i am going to shaking and shit waiting foir my results....i dont know how i will react....i mean i know i will cry and be scared...but i might flip out...seriously....

I can't wait for my mom to get home so i can have her give me a hug...LOL...i am 24 and still get comfort from my mom's hugs....

if i have it...my life will be over ... i will die...no way around it...thats a really scary thought....i will never get married, never have kids, never grow old and end uo dying a dreadfully painful death....thats really fucking scary

Well i guess theres nothing i can do till next week except be scared and hope i am ok....i dont know why i shared this with you guys...but i did........

___________________
Bring back 1994 NYC clubbing nights, cus the sh*t today is filled with junk parties and DJs that play sh*t House.....Zabiela, Sander, or Howells and all the rest suck and couldnt throw a night like it was in the early 90s in NYC!!!...Screw Twilo - give me Limelight circa 1993!!!

I know this is shit advice mate, but worrying about it wont change anything, best thing you can do it try and make the time go faster by putting it to the back of your mind and doing things you enjoy. See I told you it was shit advice Hope it all works out OK.

Good luck.

i'm sorry.......must suck right now, waiting for results......never easy. I guess it puts everything in perspective. I'm not saying anything more cause i've never known anyone who has had this happen with AIDS and HIV. So we are pulling for you.

L8tes
Andy

Hey man, your post gave me shivers. Dont u dare feeling sorry for wanting some hug from your mom right now. in fact contact with ur closest friends and family members is whats the most important thing right now. No, i dont speak out of experience either, but it hink that u may not isolate yourself, just spend this week with fmaily and friends, try to forget, maybe paint something, write..let time pass and try to forget.
i donno what to say else....
good luck of course!
keep us up to date, man..

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"Those are my principles, if you don't like them... well, I have others.”

oh man....i felt so shitty reading your post

well, i definitely hope the tests will come back in your favor (NEGATIVE ).....

well man keep your spirits up, and keep us updated!



as i remember the birthday smiles for me, these are "wish for the best" smiles for u!

>JM<

dude. i hope you are OK.

Hun...I know its tuff...a friend of mine went through something along the same lines a couple of yrs back. I know the week is gonna seem like an eternity...but honestly...don't worry about it too much. Your life may change with the results...but remember that your life is not over. People today live longer and healthier lives with HIV. I'll be keeping you in my prayers! Please let us know what happens!

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**A mind that has been stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions**

make sure you post the results

oh and sorry to hear that

damn that i feel bad now after reeading this. stay optimistic about.
i really hope u will get great results about it. i dont know what to write anymore but hang in there. ill pray for u man. peace

dude, i got chills reading through your post. Damn this is terrible. Getting a hug from your mom is definately a good thing right now. You should spend some time with love ones and let them know how much you love them.

On a brighter note, I think things will turn out ok. Just keep your spirits up. You don't know for a fact that your gf have Hiv yet.

I'm praying for your test to come back negative. However, regardless whether they come back positive or negative, I see your life changing one way or the other.

Good luck, I hope everything works out well.

hey ...thank you ALL for your posts.....you may not know it but each and every post that was given gave me a real sense of comfort in a pain staking wait process....

i will DEFINATLEY keep you posted with my results...

basically there is not much i can do this week but sit and wait and be scared...hopefully i can come back on Wednesday or Thursday and tell you all i am negative...hopefully ...

THANK YOU ALL...so much for you thoughts and prayers...and please KNOW that each and everyone will be carried in my HEART for long time..they meant alot to me...

___________________
Bring back 1994 NYC clubbing nights, cus the sh*t today is filled with junk parties and DJs that play sh*t House.....Zabiela, Sander, or Howells and all the rest suck and couldnt throw a night like it was in the early 90s in NYC!!!...Screw Twilo - give me Limelight circa 1993!!!

man i dont know what to say, except that if this would've happened to me, i would also be shit scared...many ppl. say that they're not afraid of death but when it comes down to it they get just as scared as any1 else

try to spend as much time with ur best friends and close family, its what i would do anyway

best luck and prayers with you

peace