I work as a cashier at computer store and I hate my job because it's a cashier job at a computer store. I tell myself to keep doing it for the sake of school, but I just want to skip a semester just to quit and look for another job that is inevitably going to be shitty, but just not AS shitty. I'm going to quit soon.
Ringing people up is OK, but I also have to sell them a 3 minute long pitch on something I know they don't want it. Then I have to wait for them to get off their bluetooth conversation so I can ask them wether they want to pay with credit or debit, or 3 credit cards and a debit card and a $20 starbucks gift certificate and OOPS, "can i do a return here too?" I just want to get everyone through quick, and if they want some extra service or plan, they'll ask for it; we have advertisements on our front door, on the walls, on the shelves, on the products themselves, at the registers and the mirrors on the bathroom; on the receipts and even on our "file a complaint" form. WE SET UP YOUR NETWORK FOR $79.99. WE MAKE A DESKTOP SHORTCUT TO FIREFOX.EXE FOR $29.99. BOLT YOUR MOUSEPAD TO THE DESK FOR $9.99.
We're pretty much monitored so if we take less than 15 minutes per customer, then management gets concerned that we haven't pitched them every single offer.
Anyways, so this customer comes up to me asking to do a return. I tell him returns are done at customer service, where the sign that says "returns done here" are, and the customer service guy is standing there ready for him with no line. He says he wants to do it right there and I tell him i can't, its a checkout lane for checking out. He says "if you can make buy things here, you should be able to return things here." I tell him I don't even know how, my login wouldn't allow it and its pointless to have the clock ticking. He snatches his stuff up and leaves.
Comes back 20 minutes later with a printer and a gift card. Of course, he's on bluetooth, but I swipe his gift card and its used all up. The remaining balance is $whatever$. Its obviously he's not having a business call and just chatting it up while two guys show up in line at the same time. i wait and wait and wait and finally he clicks off. So I send the pitch and OMG, he accepts. But I charge him $20 over. Then when I grab his information for his service, I type in everything wrong; name, phone number and address. He asks me a question and I didnt really know the answer, so I made the rest up and sorta rolled and continued rolling until I was filling my mouth with bullshit.
I completely hooked him. But I did take his money and I did give him all his rebates without the receipt.
I'm not good looking enough to be a porn star.

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/gabriel_and_dresden

quote:

...known from a videotape the two made when they met in March... in Dresdens home, Dresden amputated Gabriels penis and Dresden and Gabriel ate the penis together...Gabriel had insisted that Dresden bite his penis off; this did not work.. Dresden used a knife. When that knife turned out to be too blunt, Dresden used a sharper knife to slice the penis off. Gabriel apparently tried to eat his share of his own penis..but could not because it was too..."chewy". Dresden then sautéed the penis in a pan with salt, pepper, and garlic.